KnarlyDUDE09
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 662
Location: London, UK
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 Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:16 am Post subject: Is it wrong if I don't want friendships with people? |
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OK, so I've already finished secondary school and I have seen very few people in my year group outside of school; including people that may be considered 'friends', and I don't want to see them again nor keep in contact with them. I also did this when I left primary school.
Is that wrong for me to think in that way?...and, does anyone else feel this way? |
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thewhitrbbit
Phoenix
Joined: May 31, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 2130
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| Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:30 am Post subject: |
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It's not really wrong. Some people are happier alone. Some aren't.
It's really about what makes you happy. If your happy alone, that's cool.
I can't relate; but that's ok. |
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McAnulty
Toucan
Joined: May 09, 2012
Posts: 258
Location: Montreal
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| Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:33 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree, there's nothing wrong with it. If you're happy without the friends that's fine, some people are happy by themselves. |
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PTSmorrow
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 14, 2011
Age: 54
Posts: 719
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| Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Same here and was like that throughout my life. Nobody should be forced or force themselves to have contacts that exceed the absolute minimum. Don't waste your time with meaningless people and activities. |
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b9
whatever..
Joined: Aug 15, 2008
Posts: 8352
Location: australia
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| Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:56 pm Post subject: Re: Is it wrong if I don't want friendships with people? |
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| KnarlyDUDE09 wrote: | OK, so I've already finished secondary school and I have seen very few people in my year group outside of school; including people that may be considered 'friends', and I don't want to see them again nor keep in contact with them. I also did this when I left primary school.
Is that wrong for me to think in that way?...and, does anyone else feel this way? |
i do not consider it to be wrong. i am completely self sufficient and i am fine on my own.
other people may not like it and maybe rumors can start in small localities if you do not integrate, but i have no desire to know anyone, and i can get along fine in my own company 24 hours per day.
i do have a few friends who can miraculously overlook my shortcomings, and i do not want to lose them, but the general public to me is simply a place to shop. |
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SpiritBlooms
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 15, 2009
Posts: 1024
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| Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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I've also been like that nearly all my life. My most social time was from age 19 through my early twenties. I do have some people I've stayed in touch with, but rarely see or contact. They are mostly introverts, so we're similar and understand each other's need for distance. But I don't have close friends. I'm closest to my husband and sister, and don't socialize very much - maybe a couple times a year if that - with larger groups such as family gatherings, or with neighbors.
For decades I had to be around people in school and at work. Now that I'm retired I'm selfish about my time to myself.
I'm very happy with this. To me friendship is exhausting to keep up with. I know I'm not good at it, and I don't like to make others feel they need to be friends with me when I'm just not a very good friend. I love my solitude and time to myself. I do creative things, I'm interested in spiritual and psychological (Jungian) introspection, needlework, writing, painting, and personal journaling. I read a lot, watch movies on dvd, and love being at home with my pets and spending time in our garden (enjoying it - my husband is the gardener and likes to do it himself). |
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redrobin62
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2012
Age: 50
Posts: 3822
Location: Seattle, WA
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| Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:52 pm Post subject: |
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I'm speaking from experience here.
I think it's important to have friends when you're a teenager or young adult Being lonely at that age could lead to detrimental issues like extreme depression, isolation & suicide. Those are the years when socializing is important. When you're old it doesn't so much.
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KnarlyDUDE09
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 662
Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Thank you guys for sharing your experiences and thoughts. For now, I won't force myself to keep in contact with the 'friends' I have, but I will maybe have the chance of meeting others of the same age- maybe similar to myself, when I start at Sixth Form after the summer. |
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epicragedhdh
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 25, 2012
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Completely acceptable and very pragmatic of you |
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Amajanshi
Phoenix
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Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 626
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 4:27 am Post subject: Re: Is it wrong if I don't want friendships with people? |
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| KnarlyDUDE09 wrote: | OK, so I've already finished secondary school and I have seen very few people in my year group outside of school; including people that may be considered 'friends', and I don't want to see them again nor keep in contact with them. I also did this when I left primary school.
Is that wrong for me to think in that way?...and, does anyone else feel this way? |
It's your right to choose how often you want to contact your ex-classmates from highschool. People drift apart all the time, and it's common to maintain more routine contact with only a few people many years after graduation.
You need to take a break and cool down when you feel like it. Don't just talk to people for the sake of talking, but only if you want to know how they've been etc, coz otherwise it may appear insincere to them. |
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KnarlyDUDE09
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 662
Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:23 pm Post subject: Re: Is it wrong if I don't want friendships with people? |
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| Amajanshi wrote: | It's your right to choose how often you want to contact your ex-classmates from highschool. People drift apart all the time, and it's common to maintain more routine contact with only a few people many years after graduation.
You need to take a break and cool down when you feel like it. Don't just talk to people for the sake of talking, but only if you want to know how they've been etc, coz otherwise it may appear insincere to them. |
My version of 'cooling down' would be just that; to not want to see or talk to them, and to forget that they even exist. But I don't know why I do that...Also, I didn't know that one could be seen as being insincere for unwillingly talking to another.
Thank you for your advice.  |
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younginflavor18
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 08, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 237
Location: Fort Pierce, Florida
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| Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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Hey man, it's up to you whether or not if you want to continue being friends with them since high school. Some people are happy with being by themselves, some are severely lonely and seek human interaction. In the end, it's your prerogrative and life, also finding what makes you happy.
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AQ: 35 |
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muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1072
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| Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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| redrobin62 wrote: | I'm speaking from experience here.
I think it's important to have friends when you're a teenager or young adult Being lonely at that age could lead to detrimental issues like extreme depression, isolation & suicide. Those are the years when socializing is important. When you're old it doesn't so much. |
THIS.
Accomplishments in youth are all tied to good social relations.
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Erminetheawkward
Raven
Joined: May 24, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 106
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| Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 3:00 am Post subject: |
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That's essentially what I did when I graduated high school. Out with the old, in with the new. However, I'm still Facebook friends with my high school friends. I keep an eye on them and what they're doing, but I don't feel obligated to contact them all the time. That's ok with me, especially since I've moved and don't see any of them in person anymore.
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edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 3:12 am Post subject: |
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| redrobin62 wrote: | I'm speaking from experience here.
I think it's important to have friends when you're a teenager or young adult Being lonely at that age could lead to detrimental issues like extreme depression, isolation & suicide. Those are the years when socializing is important. When you're old it doesn't so much. |
Depends. If you're happier on your own, you aren't going to get depressed or lonely about it.
I think it's important when you're young, but for different reasons. Because social contacts are helpful in so many ways. Roommates, jobs, all sorts of things can depend on social contacts. And in my experience, it gets harder to make new acquaintances as you get older. |
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