zacb
Deinonychus
Joined: May 08, 2012
Posts: 333
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 Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:45 pm Post subject: How to quit thinking about finding a date? |
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Hello,
I keep having a problem. I have this cycle where I could get a rip about dating, then be interested in dating like nothing else. I want to keep a straight head about it, but often times I am kind of depressed about not really hanging out with anyone and I see other people dating and I tend to get a tad jealous. Normally I try to shrug it off, and I would try to work on some idea for a business on my pc or maybe play a video game and sometimes program. But at the current moment I am borrowing someone's netbook, which is great for programming and checking a few things, but as far as things that I would pour myself into (with the exception of programming), I can't really do much (like as far as games or business ideas, which I normally work on when I am kind of love sick). But since my pc needs some repairs, and I am waiting on the repair kit to come, how can I get these thoughts out of my head? Comedy helps a tad, but when you have this stuck in you head, it really is lame. So any thoughts? How would you proceed? |
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Delphiki
Launchie
Joined: Apr 15, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 1350
Location: My own version of reality
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:32 pm Post subject: Re: How to quit thinking about finding a date? |
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| zacb wrote: | | how can I get these thoughts out of my head? |
Physical activity. (don't know enough about you to give more narrow advice)
I like shooting baskets
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Trolls exist! They steal your socks, but only the left ones. I wonder what is up with that? |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14837
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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You need another passion.
I get over people by concentrating on another love of mine - websites
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zacb
Deinonychus
Joined: May 08, 2012
Posts: 333
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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| I do try to walk (often times up to 6 miles), but often times I think about the future. And to answer the question about getting a new hobby. I am trying to learn a few new programming languages, so that should still keep me busy. I guess I want to not think about it, since that usually solves itself when you do that. But I just keep thinking about the slight embarrassment of not getting past the first date. And normally I would be working on this one business idea or programming, or reading a few of my fav web sites. But it seems like the only things that tend to pacify me is either working on my ideas, games, and to a lesser extent programming. But I don't want them to become vices and become necessary for me to survive, because when that happens, it makes times when they are gone lame. So what can I do to get it out of mind? |
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zacb
Deinonychus
Joined: May 08, 2012
Posts: 333
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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| I do try to walk (often times up to 6 miles), but often times I think about the future. And to answer the question about getting a new hobby. I am trying to learn a few new programming languages, so that should still keep me busy. I guess I want to not think about it, since that usually solves itself when you do that. But I just keep thinking about the slight embarrassment of not getting past the first date. And normally I would be working on this one business idea or programming, or reading a few of my fav web sites. But it seems like the only things that tend to pacify me is either working on my ideas, games, and to a lesser extent programming. But I don't want them to become vices and become necessary for me to survive, because when that happens, it makes times when they are gone lame. So what can I do to get it out of mind? |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14837
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:05 am Post subject: |
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| zacb wrote: | | I do try to walk (often times up to 6 miles), but often times I think about the future. And to answer the question about getting a new hobby. I am trying to learn a few new programming languages, so that should still keep me busy. I guess I want to not think about it, since that usually solves itself when you do that. But I just keep thinking about the slight embarrassment of not getting past the first date. And normally I would be working on this one business idea or programming, or reading a few of my fav web sites. But it seems like the only things that tend to pacify me is either working on my ideas, games, and to a lesser extent programming. But I don't want them to become vices and become necessary for me to survive, because when that happens, it makes times when they are gone lame. So what can I do to get it out of mind? |
Not a new hobby. A new passion. I have a lot of hobbies but not many that will distract me from heartbreak.
I think as aspies we assume people are horrible and talk about us all the time, I know I do, but the reality is, a lot of people are quite nice, or don't make a big deal of where we don't succeed. So you've never gotten past a first date. So? They don't need to know that. Even if they did, a lot less people would judge you than you probably think.
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12487
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:06 am Post subject: |
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| luck. its about as likelyto work as other things mentioned |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14837
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:08 am Post subject: |
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| MXH wrote: | | luck. its about as likelyto work as other things mentioned |
This is true, also. If you're in the right place at the right time. You'd be surprised at how many many people sort of "fall" into the situation. Even sociable NT's.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12487
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:10 am Post subject: |
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| hale_bopp wrote: | | MXH wrote: | | luck. its about as likelyto work as other things mentioned |
This is true, also. If you're in the right place at the right time. You'd be surprised at how many many people sort of "fall" into the situation. Even sociable NT's.
Don't be too hard on yourself. |
ohh, i didnt mean it in the movie type of getting llucky and finding someone, i meant having luck in finding something to fill the hole with. Everyone alwways has suggestions but nobody can find what will fill it but yourself. |
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1000Knives
It's not difficult if you know how.
Joined: Jul 09, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 4578
Location: CT, USA
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| Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:03 am Post subject: |
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Lift heavy weights up and put them down.
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Too kawaii to live...
Too sugoi to die! |
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JanuaryMan
Aspierational
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 2543
Location: Hants, UK
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| Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 4:06 am Post subject: |
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Find out what else stimulates your mind (and other bits) besides your preferred sex, and find an activity that relates to it.
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"A man is but the product of his thoughts - what he thinks, he becomes." - Mahatma Gandhi |
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blunnet
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 04, 2011
Posts: 936
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| Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | How to quit thinking about finding a date? |
uhm.... porn? |
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