muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1072
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 Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:20 pm Post subject: When do you speak to people? |
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How do you build rapport, that is, be around them when it is okay to be around them?
Example: You don't get to know someone by going to the bathroom with them lol.
That would make even the most thick-headed Aspies uncomfortable.
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Last edited by muslimmetalhead on Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:25 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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redrobin62
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2012
Age: 50
Posts: 3826
Location: Seattle, WA
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| Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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I am almost certain if you followed people into a bathroom to talk you'd be spitting out teeth left and right.
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Aharon
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 27, 2011
Posts: 632
Location: Kansas
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| Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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People usually meet my wife first and get to know me through her. She's so awesome, they just assume I'm cool too. She's a great, charming way to break the ice. If they met me first, I'm sure things would be very different.
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LoudMuch
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 08, 2012
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 12:24 am Post subject: |
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One word, Mirroring!
One of the many social skills I studied and learned during personal growth study in the last 5 years.
Such a shame really that i'm Asocial xD |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6775
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 12:34 am Post subject: Re: When do you speak to people? |
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| muslimmetalhead wrote: | How do you build rapport, that is, be around them when it is okay to be around them?
Example: You don't get to know someone by going to the bathroom with them lol.
That would make even the most thick-headed Aspies uncomfortable. |
I'll just say something like "Hey, how ya doing?" and then go from there. It's much, much easier in this small town because I can always say "Aren't you kin to so and so?" or mention some tidbit of local "news" and ask if they heard about it and is it true. Then I'll mention something I like and ask if they like it, or I'll ask them if they like something that they look like they like, or ask where they live (small town so it's ok to do this). Just go from there basically.
However, sometimes girls get to know each other by going to the bathroom together in public places like restaurants or bars. Speaking a few words to another girl who has been brought along and who I don't know, just across the table at first then say "I'm going to the ladies room, want to come with me?" or she says it. It's quieter in there than in a bar so we can hear each other and we can also talk without the other people from the table there, like "Where did you meet Tommy? He's great isn't he?" or something like that. Going to the bathroom does not mean girls have to pee either. Sometimes we go in to look in the mirror and check hair and makeup and talk. Boys cannot do this, from what I understand. I don't think boys can even acknowledge each other in the bathroom unless it's an emergency like a heart attack. We however, use it as bonding time.
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Frances
What if Jessie's girl was Stacy's mom and her number was 867-5309? |
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corvuscorax
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 29, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 93
Location: Pontiac, MI
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| Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:29 am Post subject: |
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I walk up to them and try to strike up a conversation with them if they look interesting. If I don't have ANYONE in a certain situation I always try to find one, so I can have someone to retreat to in the situation. I usually become friends by talking about something at them and seeing if they show interest. It doesn't make many friends but my best friend and I met this way and we're like peanut butter and jelly.
If it doesn't gel it ends up being VERY AWKWARD VERY QUICKLY, hahaha.
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jdanaya
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 25, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 45
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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| I am not sure if i have aspergers my mom says I do , but anyway I talk to people just naturally like I am very extroverted, and I like to talk to anyone, but I have very few close friends because I don't let anyone in competly, but out of everyone my one freind who we always end up joking around is probably my closest friend. |
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nick007
old-skewl fan-boy
Joined: May 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 9737
Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
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| Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 1:20 am Post subject: |
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I let them initiate. Being in situations where I'll be around people a while & have some required interaction helps; like working with people or belonging to a club
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anneurysm
Who needs birds when you have Lena Dunham.
Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1881
Location: Barrie & Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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I consider the situation that brought us together and we have a conversation about that. I try to focus on the other person's ideas and then build things off of them. If we're in the same class, we'll talk about the teacher, lessons, and assignments. When I'm at a party, I'll ask how they know the host and what activities they have in common with them.
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