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UDAspie13
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27 Aug 2012, 5:09 pm

So, for the second time ever I'm going somewhere with a guy. I'm a girl FYI. Anyways, he invited me to go to the fair, I asked mom and she said fine, and now I'm being interrogated. Who is he? Will his mom be there? How late will you be out? I want to meet his mother when they come to pick you up.
I'm 13 and he's 14. He already has a girlfriend, we're just friends. No, I don't want to be anything more. Were going to the fair tomorrow and staying till 10 or 11 pm. The only time ive ever gone anywhere solo with a guy was last year when another friend who already has a GF was going to the movies and invited me. My Grandpa didn't freak, he encourages interaction with the opposite sex. Anyways! Are my parents overprotective or am I oversensitive?
BTW, his mom WILL be there.
He's a friend from 3rd grade.
He's a good dude, easy to talk to, nice.
That's pretty much it.



chris5000
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27 Aug 2012, 5:19 pm

my mom is the same way



invisiblesilent
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27 Aug 2012, 5:19 pm

Hmm I think it's tough to answer the question without background information. If you're streetwise and responsible for your age then maybe they are being a little overprotective. If you're not very streetwise OR you have not done this very much (which it seems is the case - not saying you're not streetwise because, really, I have no idea if you are!) then I can understand why they want to meet the boy and his mother. They want to get a sense of the type of people they are so that, for example, they are certain that they will not be irresponsible enough to leave you on your own in a potentially vulnerable situation or something like that. In short your parents want to know if they are good people as opposed to shady people.



glasstoria
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27 Aug 2012, 5:26 pm

It's her job to be protective and look out for you. I think she is just being a mom.

If it makes you feel any better, I am 31 and my parents still interrogate me on decisions and social relationships. They know I have a hard time looking out for myself in the past and they are just trying to look out for me, out of concern. They can't help it. Parents will always be concerned for your well being.


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John_Browning
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27 Aug 2012, 5:29 pm

At 13, I'd say that's reasonable for to do for now. In you later teens once your have experience going out on your own and navigating society and it's hazards, it would be overprotective. For now, you have time to gently and consistently push for bigger and bigger boundaries as time goes on. It's the best way to keep the number of blowout fights over it down. Personally I found that by not partying or doing other risky things behind my parents' back I never lost any ground in my boundaries. After you turn 18 your parents will sill have concerns and may desperately try to talk you out of things. Except in some very extreme circumstances they can't stop you (unless they take it to court), but they can use their money to provide economic pressures or incentives to do what they want, but you can walk away from that.

For now, enjoy the fair and maybe bring your mom a souvenir to show how well it went! :wink:

BTW, I'm 30 now, and I've found that occasionally approaching my parents for advice isn't always such a bad thing.


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OliveOilMom
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27 Aug 2012, 5:56 pm

When my kids were 13 I made it a point to talk to the parents who took them places and also to find out where they were going, who would be there and when they would be home. My kids are NT's too. That's not overprotective, thats just keeping up with where your kid is. I'd d that no matter what the sex of the other person was.

Overprotective would be either not letting you go or insisting that she goes with you.


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UDAspie13
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27 Aug 2012, 6:45 pm

Okay, thanks. My aspies doesn't really affect my judgment too much more my 'implications". I don't readily recognize any double meanings involved in my speech. I could say something totally suggestive and not realize it.



Ai_Ling
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27 Aug 2012, 8:12 pm

I think parents are generally like that for someone of your age. Of course at your age, I didnt have a social life and I had no friends. So I never hungout with any boys at your age. Now, Im 23, normally if I go out, Ill just say its a friend. If my mom thinks it might be a boy, she'll ask "boy or girl", then ill answer, then she asks more questions. Shes not that intrusive but IMO i dont think it should be a big deal. She knows I have more guy friends then girlfriends and found that a bit strange for some time. I know my parents are conservative so when it comes to boys (just friend or not), I barely say a thing. My mom has only gotten info from inquiring me and me giving her short answers mainly.



UDAspie13
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28 Aug 2012, 9:37 pm

Well, it went well, he was a gentleman
my mom settled down just in time to tease me.



AutisticBelle
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28 Aug 2012, 9:49 pm

I think being overprotective is sort of in the job description. :D
Thats why we love moms so much :lol:



thewhitrbbit
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28 Aug 2012, 10:18 pm

None of those questions sound unreasonable.

I'm a guy and I've been asked those questions. I think it's responsible parenting to pay attention to where your child will be going, when he/she will get back, who's going with them.

It's very common for a guy to be expected to meet a girl's parents, even if it's a platonic relationship.