what are asperger men problem

Page 1 of 8 [ 126 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 8  Next

billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

30 Nov 2012, 5:15 pm

Ok, I've been thinking about this. How come so many asperger men are ''super single'' and never once had a girlfriend.
is there something wrong with them? I can understand me not getting a gf because Im totaly f- up in the head and have a ''eccentric no care attitude''
but most aspie/autism men are not like me. So what's the deal. I mean how come we can find aspie women with the same set of problems but yet they are in a relationship, how does that happen.
why is that one gender has all it's problem and gets no date but the other gender has the same problem and get dates.
ok, what about very serve ocd. I've watch quit a few documentry on people with very bad ocd and both gender were single or divorce.
The women were either single or divorced and the men were too.
if you take more lower autism or mild mental challenge for the most part. The women would date another man with lower autism or mild mentally challenge or not at all. The same with men with lower autism or mild m.c
but when come to asperger or mild autism. the men on higher percent don't date. but the women with same condition date on a higher percent.
of course people will say it society, men will approach women and tolerated women and forgive women for their condition. Ok,
but how do explain these attractive ocd women who can't get a date or attractive bipolar women who can't get a date.

in closing if you take:
an alpha nt male and alpha nt female: both will have very good luck in dating
an average nt male and female: both will a good luck in dating
a severve ocd male and female: both will have a hard time in dating and relationship
a people with weird obsession: both will have a hard time in dating and relationship
lower autism/mild m.c: either both will date a similiar person or not at all
asperger/mild autism: the women will date and men will not date on a 5-1 ration if not more.

to me: it like asperger or mild autism is the only condition where one gender has better chances of relationship than the other gender



aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

30 Nov 2012, 5:20 pm

Information overload. I haven't got a clue what you are trying to convey.

What is it, with all this male/female crap anyway?



rabidmonkey4262
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 864

30 Nov 2012, 5:28 pm

Men have to dress like they actually care about how they dress, they have to take care of their health and hygiene, and most importantly...they have to pay attention to the intentions and needs of the woman.

This is how men successfully get dates.


_________________
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.


Adam82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 615

30 Nov 2012, 5:55 pm

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
Men have to dress like they actually care about how they dress, they have to take care of their health and hygiene, and most importantly...they have to pay attention to the intentions and needs of the woman.

This is how men successfully get dates.


So why don't aspie women have to do these things to get dates?



rabidmonkey4262
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 864

30 Nov 2012, 6:11 pm

Adam82 wrote:
rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
Men have to dress like they actually care about how they dress, they have to take care of their health and hygiene, and most importantly...they have to pay attention to the intentions and needs of the woman.

This is how men successfully get dates.


So why don't aspie women have to do these things to get dates?
Who says they don't?

Sure you could dress trashy if you're a woman, but you're only going to attract trashy guys. Classless guys love women with low self-esteem who don't care about themselves. If you want to attract someone worth your time, you have to be neat and clean.


_________________
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.


ComradeKael
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 223

30 Nov 2012, 6:24 pm

They believe women have a problem.



aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

30 Nov 2012, 6:27 pm

I am with rabidmonkey4262 on this one 8)



billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

30 Nov 2012, 6:27 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:
Information overload. I haven't got a clue what you are trying to convey.

What is it, with all this male/female crap anyway?

ok. if you take 50 random asperger men and women. The odds are that the women are going to be in a relationship.
And the men are going to be single, even though both gender have the same set of problems.

you take 50 random severe ocd men and women. There is equal odds that both gender will either be single or divorce or
unable to stay in relationship. Both gender have the same set of problems

you take 50 random average nt men and women. About more or less equal odds both gender will be in a relationship or been in two or more.
Both gender have more or less the same problem.

You take 50 random male and female with severe weird obession and odds are both will be either single or divorce or unable to keep a relationship and both have the same set of problem.

there is a saying what the difference between asperger men and asperger women, the asperger women are married and asperger men are single.

the other condition I've said: the severe ocd, the weird obessions, nt are basically more or less equal when comes to relationship. good or bad
but when comes to aspergers, the women side has alot higher odds of getting a date than a man who has the same set of problems.



DialAForAwesome
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,189
Location: That place with the thing

30 Nov 2012, 6:31 pm

Hygiene and caring how they dress has nothing to do with it. I'm the king of hygiene and am told that I dress pretty well for the most part.


_________________
I don't trust anyone because I'm cynical.
I'm cynical because I don't trust anyone.


billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

30 Nov 2012, 6:37 pm

ok, clothes has nothing to do with anything. You get an asperger man who dress very nice but is unable to get a date.
you can find a woman with severe ocd who dresses sexy but none of the men she dated will stay with her.
Same with a man who has severe ocd who dresses nice, will also have a hard time keeping a date.



aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

30 Nov 2012, 6:39 pm

billiscool, and your point is? How is any of that information going to help you be more successful? If you told me you are looking at ratios, so you could sum up conclusive information, that would then help change the pattern, and augment your chances of finding someone...

But what seems to happen a lot on these forums, is people blaming their bad luck on statistics. Look at the positive examples listen to other Aspie men, those with a somewhat more positive life experience, and then see what you can do that's different.

Boo is a good example. A good attitude, is worth a million good looks.

Good luck.



billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

30 Nov 2012, 6:48 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:
billiscool, and your point is? How is any of that information going to help you be more successful? If you told me you are looking at ratios, so you could sum up conclusive information, that would then help change the pattern, and augment your chances of finding someone...

But what seems to happen a lot on these forums, is people blaming their bad luck on statistics. Look at the positive examples listen to other Aspie men, those with a somewhat more positive life experience, and then see what you can do that's different.

Boo is a good example. A good attitude, is worth a million good looks.

Good luck.


Im successful, have good friends, a wonderful (but sometimes crazy) family, very fit and I like myself.
I already said the reason why don't get a girlfriend is because Im just too f-up in the head and have a ''eccentric no care attitude'' around women.
But this is not about me at all. I really don't give a crap if women like me or not, that their problem.
But im talking about are other asperger men who are alot nicer, and have better personality than me who can't get dates at all.

what I find so very interesting is the just fact (sorry, if I repeat myself) is that why is that asperger is the only condition (or least one of very few) where women have a alot higher odds of getting a date than a man with the same problem. Where ocd,nt and the other stuff I've said are almost equal on their succes in dating. good or bad.



DialAForAwesome
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,189
Location: That place with the thing

30 Nov 2012, 6:53 pm

Boo is actually kind of a bad example, he was blessed with good looks right off the bat, so his chances are automatically higher than that of most other aspie men.

Although I do normally agree with you, aspiesandra. :)


_________________
I don't trust anyone because I'm cynical.
I'm cynical because I don't trust anyone.


aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

30 Nov 2012, 6:58 pm

Billiscool. I can believe that you consider truthful what you say. But if it wasn't an issue, would you bring it up that often? There are already numerous amounts of bibliography on the matter.

I don't think you are as f****d in the head as you think. Consider yourself a unique person.

Would you *like* to have a fulfilling relationship? Or you *really* don't care?

I find it fascinating, if I am honest. Every aspect of human psychology fascinates me. I am not having a dig at you, in fact, you spark up curiosity in me. :)



aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

30 Nov 2012, 7:01 pm

DialAforAwesome, I didn't even know what Boo looked like, So I just assumed he looked like his avatar :lol:

Now, I have seen a photo. I was shocked. I don't know if he is good looking (it takes ages for me to make a decision on looks), but I didn't know he looked so young! 8O



billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

30 Nov 2012, 7:07 pm

''One thing that many people with OCD are frustrated by is difficulties in establishing and maintaining romantic relationships. Many people with OCD are single and those who are in a relationship or are married often report a significant amount of relationship stress.''

You notice how it's both gender that struggle. but when comes to asperger only men struggle in relationship at a higher odd. (not saying no asperger women does but men have it worst)