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IdahoRose
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21 Aug 2011, 4:26 pm

I am not an infantilist, but I do have a different paraphilia which I don't think I should talk about for the sake of keeping this topic clean. I think that there are two reasons why it seems like autistic people are more prone to fetishes: either 1) our already-abnormal neurological wiring would make us more likely to be aroused by unusual things or 2) there isn't really a neurological reason; it just seems like more autistic people have fetishes due to the fact that a lot of us don't filter the things we say so we're more likely to talk about private matters such as sex and fetishes.



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21 Aug 2011, 11:44 pm

You're a person. With a personality. Infantilism is part of that, and nothing has to be wrong with that.

If you want to change that part of you, talk with your doctor or therapist about it. If you don't, just don't. I'm bossy. I could work on it, but I like being bossy.

You don't need to be ashamed. We all yearn for lost youth. We all look out the window at work and wish we were on a playground. We all want our moms to make us soup when we're sick. Everything in life, every part of the human existence, exists on a spectrum. You just happen to be farther over on that particular spectrum than most.

We can't change what makes us happy. There are infantilists. You happen to be one of them. You can work hard to change your behavior, and find other things that make you happy, if you really want that.

I guess all I'm saying is you can be who you want to be, just like everybody else. Because everyone is on a spectrum, even if it's on the opposite side as you.



doublek
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22 Aug 2011, 5:08 am

thanks guys that helps alot I will just be me and thats being a baby and im happy that way i cant change that its part of who i am and i love that babyish side of me thanks agian bye



2wheels4ever
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24 Jun 2013, 1:31 am

Gah, necro! Though I am curious to see if there are actual questions about it in the new diagnostic criteria, if I can ever get a referral


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24 Jun 2013, 2:35 am

2wheels4ever wrote:
Gah, necro! Though I am curious to see if there are actual questions about it in the new diagnostic criteria, if I can ever get a referral


For infantilism? Why would anyone want to be diagnosed with it?


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Caz72
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24 Jun 2013, 7:12 am

i think i may might be infantile, but for sexual reasons. i dont wear nappies or have a dummy, but i do like my husband to treat me like a baby, even though i am mature and independent-minded otherwise. i dont know of this counts?

he doesnt mind either. he likes to carry me to bed. also he lets me have one or two of his fingers in my mouth for me to suck. also he likes to burp me, like pat my back or rub my back for ages, but again it more like a sexual thing.



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24 Jun 2013, 6:31 pm

one of the guys living here has infantilism,am living in a largish specialist residential centre for kids,teens and adults on the severe or profound spectrums of autism though this individual likes pretending he cant do anything for himself and he will speak and act like a baby in front of staff,they believe it is because he has the mental capacity of a baby but he has let his mask slip regulary when staff arent there by behaving and speaking like a NT adult then switching when staff enter the room,it had been a staffer who first noticed this when he didnt realise it wasnt just service users around.

he does everything for the attention of staff and resents the rest of us for having any attention off them including when we are being supported with personal care.
one profoundly autistic lad he bullies like crazy; every day if all the staffers are busy running around he tries to get to him and twist his ear so badly that it bursts in the corner and bleeds and the poor lad does not have the capacity to understand how to react so he transfers his agression onto the profoundly autistic girl whose usualy sat there or staff.

he sees the lad as an ultimate threat on his want for attention-he isabsolutely resentful of him.
am also a target of his every day,whenever am out in the public areas he uses a sensory overload technique because am a 'head banger' and suffer incredible deep pain from sensory overload so usualy end up knocking self out if am not collapsing to the floor into a deep sleep from the noise, the reason he does it is am brought back in bedroom so fella has staff to himself again, am not able to interact with staff without him hijacking and taking the attention onto him.
am also sexualy abused by him-and between this and the bullying from him,mum dad and sister have had many complaints in but they say it isnt sexual abuse nor bullying because he doesnt have the mental capacity to understand,BS.
whenever have kicked off at him for abuse, am the one who gets told off because aparently he is just being silly,yeah right-being sexualy abused or in severe agonising pain and involuntarily sent collapsing into a coma every time he does his sensory bullying is silly.

kicked the crap out of him once when he peed on the chickens of mine because we were both outside and am the one staff was interacting with,not him.
he even pretends to wet his clothes sometimes because of the way he is treated,staff who havent known him for along time think has toileting difficulties,am the only adult living here who has incontinence as part of their autism and LD,and people here made assumptions about it for a long time before allowing the incon nurse to assess because they assume stereotypes with it, am prescribed nappies on the NHS but people like fella here are automaticaly assumed to need them its a good job we have staff who know their sht onboard.
so its not quite traditional infantilism,but he does have LD,mental health and personality disorders. which flavour how he acts.


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daydreamer84
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24 Jun 2013, 8:33 pm

KingdomOfRats wrote:
one of the guys living here has infantilism,am living in a largish specialist residential centre for kids,teens and adults on the severe or profound spectrums of autism though this individual likes pretending he cant do anything for himself and he will speak and act like a baby in front of staff,they believe it is because he has the mental capacity of a baby but he has let his mask slip regulary when staff arent there by behaving and speaking like a NT adult then switching when staff enter the room,it had been a staffer who first noticed this when he didnt realise it wasnt just service users around.

he does everything for the attention of staff and resents the rest of us for having any attention off them including when we are being supported with personal care.
one profoundly autistic lad he bullies like crazy; every day if all the staffers are busy running around he tries to get to him and twist his ear so badly that it bursts in the corner and bleeds and the poor lad does not have the capacity to understand how to react so he transfers his agression onto the profoundly autistic girl whose usualy sat there or staff.

he sees the lad as an ultimate threat on his want for attention-he isabsolutely resentful of him.
am also a target of his every day,whenever am out in the public areas he uses a sensory overload technique because am a 'head banger' and suffer incredible deep pain from sensory overload so usualy end up knocking self out if am not collapsing to the floor into a deep sleep from the noise, the reason he does it is am brought back in bedroom so fella has staff to himself again, am not able to interact with staff without him hijacking and taking the attention onto him.
am also sexualy abused by him-and between this and the bullying from him,mum dad and sister have had many complaints in but they say it isnt sexual abuse nor bullying because he doesnt have the mental capacity to understand,BS.
whenever have kicked off at him for abuse, am the one who gets told off because aparently he is just being silly,yeah right-being sexualy abused or in severe agonising pain and involuntarily sent collapsing into a coma every time he does his sensory bullying is silly.

kicked the crap out of him once when he peed on the chickens of mine because we were both outside and am the one staff was interacting with,not him.
he even pretends to wet his clothes sometimes because of the way he is treated,staff who havent known him for along time think has toileting difficulties,am the only adult living here who has incontinence as part of their autism and LD,and people here made assumptions about it for a long time before allowing the incon nurse to assess because they assume stereotypes with it, am prescribed nappies on the NHS but people like fella here are automaticaly assumed to need them its a good job we have staff who know their sht onboard.
so its not quite traditional infantilism,but he does have LD,mental health and personality disorders. which flavour how he acts.


THat sounds horrible. I'm sorry you're being bullied and sexually abused and you are whether or not he has the mental capacity to know he;s doing it. Even if hypothetically it wasn't his fault it's still the responsibility of your cargivers to stop it from happening. It's not okay. If this keeps going on and the staff won't do anything about it then maybe you should get your family to find you a different group home.



daydreamer84
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24 Jun 2013, 8:40 pm

Well, I don't have infantalism but I am very immature and like some childlike things: children's songs and cartoons.Besides the 3 or 4 people in this thread who said they are or had been in their lives I know there are a couple others on this site. One is LittleTigger. He's proud of it and talked about it a lot on here but I haven't seen him around for awhile. I'd guess that this and other deviations from the norm , fetishes ect. are more common among people with ASD then in the general population. I have no idea if this is true or not but it wouldn't surprise me. People with ASD are less likely to feel the societal pressure that would make people ashamed of such things (not that people should be).



2wheels4ever
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24 Jun 2013, 11:15 pm

daydreamer84 wrote:
Well, I don't have infantalism but I am very immature and like some childlike things: children's songs and cartoons.Besides the 3 or 4 people in this thread who said they are or had been in their lives I know there are a couple others on this site. One is LittleTigger. He's proud of it and talked about it a lot on here but I haven't seen him around for awhile. I'd guess that this and other deviations from the norm , fetishes ect. are more common among people with ASD then in the general population. I have no idea if this is true or not but it wouldn't surprise me. People with ASD are less likely to feel the societal pressure that would make people ashamed of such things (not that people should be).


There are people on a major ABDL* forum that identify as Littles and don't incorporate wearing/using, a minority within a minority for sure but post-toddler regression does exist


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daydreamer84
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24 Jun 2013, 11:46 pm

2wheels4ever wrote:
daydreamer84 wrote:
Well, I don't have infantalism but I am very immature and like some childlike things: children's songs and cartoons.Besides the 3 or 4 people in this thread who said they are or had been in their lives I know there are a couple others on this site. One is LittleTigger. He's proud of it and talked about it a lot on here but I haven't seen him around for awhile. I'd guess that this and other deviations from the norm , fetishes ect. are more common among people with ASD then in the general population. I have no idea if this is true or not but it wouldn't surprise me. People with ASD are less likely to feel the societal pressure that would make people ashamed of such things (not that people should be).


There are people on a major ABDL* forum that identify as Littles and don't incorporate wearing/using, a minority within a minority for sure but post-toddler regression does exist


No, I'm not that. There's nothing wrong with it IMO but I don't identify as an adult little kid. I just like children's folk songs and some children's cartoons. A lot of adult members on this site like cartoons( think of all the adults that are into My Little Pony, for example) and I know Joe90 mentioned she also listens to kid's songs on her IPOD. If that qualified a person to be an infantalist there would be a huge % of them in the population.



lostonearth35
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26 Feb 2015, 7:55 pm

So far I've only heard of guys being adult babies. Why is that? I thought guys generally wanted to be in charge of everything and have others depend on them, not the other way around. I personally do not want to be treated like an infant, ever. An insult to someone who proverbially went to war and back and stepped on every landmine doing it just to do the things most adults take for granted. I don't want to be completely helpless, lying around doing nothing all day but sleeping and pooping in my diaper. Ugh! I'll probably be doing plenty of that when I'm really old.

On the other hand I have maybe a zillion toys, dolls and stuffed animals and I don't think it's fair adults aren't supposed to carry them around with them in public, or get dressed up and go trick-or-treating on Halloween. Maybe I want to be an adult preteen.



2wheels4ever
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27 Feb 2015, 12:36 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
So far I've only heard of guys being adult babies. Why is that? I thought guys generally wanted to be in charge of everything and have others depend on them, not the other way around. I personally do not want to be treated like an infant, ever. An insult to someone who proverbially went to war and back and stepped on every landmine doing it just to do the things most adults take for granted. I don't want to be completely helpless, lying around doing nothing all day but sleeping and pooping in my diaper. Ugh! I'll probably be doing plenty of that when I'm really old.

On the other hand I have maybe a zillion toys, dolls and stuffed animals and I don't think it's fair adults aren't supposed to carry them around with them in public, or get dressed up and go trick-or-treating on Halloween. Maybe I want to be an adult preteen.


1. As rare as hen's teeth as they are, female ABs do exist. In reality (in an ironic sense) cis-females on the sites are usually reluctant to disclose their gender as they tend to get swamped by friend requests from males who are mostly DLs and are looking for sexual partners.
2. Men may project an outward image of wanting to rule the world and all but if that were true down to their cores a lot of dominatrices would be out of a job.
3. It's a fulcrum; it may lie within that scope of the secret desires of the movers & shakers or on the other end (speaking for myself) it's an extension of not wanting to know about that big bad scary world out there. In any case very very few identifiers of AB would actually want to spend their full time regressed. Extra point: messing a diaper isn't nearly as popular as wetting.
4. As it goes with the Autism spectrum, there is also a wide range of ABDL behaviors - this would likely never happen in real life but: If you've met 1 ABDL, you've met 1 ABDL.

Although there is obviously a bigger stigma to going public as an age regressive, in a sense it's not too far removed from being a cosplayer. The rule of thumb though is if you've felt drawn toward any out-of-the-norm behaviors throughout your life then it's definitely a part of who you are


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27 Feb 2015, 2:02 am

ABDL is also a spectrum. What you see in the media about it is the extreme, not everyone who is AB has a nursery or sleeps in cribs or is a helpless baby. It's very common for an AB to have childish interests and I have noticed they tend to be a kid at heart, still like kid shows, may identify as a little, and they may use a few AB items like pacifiers or bottles but they still define themselves as AB.


Now having childish interests or liking stuffed animals or sleeping with one or watching cartoons or kid shows or coloring doesn't necessarily make someone AB. There are plenty of people who like these things and are not AB nor wear diapers. But however, ABs can mix these things into their AB.

I think it would be boring to be a baby 24/7 because to be a baby, you would have to give up your freedom, no more computer, no making your own choices, no video games, you can't watch big kid shows or PG-13 movies and above, no more reading and chatting online, no more writing and posting online. That would suck. I don't know any AB who would want this lifestyle. Even the ones who go extreme with it still do adult things and have adult interests but the only difference is they wear diapers and sleep in a nursery and wear big baby clothing but still live their normal lives and do things an adult would do despite using baby items.


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28 Feb 2015, 1:25 am

OJani wrote:
druidsbird wrote:
Both myself and one close friend of mine are infantilists, and we are also both diagnosed on the spectrum (me Asperger's, her HFA). The infantilist community has many autistic members.

For me it is not sexual, it is just one of the coping mechanisms I developed when I was young to soothe myself when I am having difficulties. My difficulties caused me to become an infantilist, but just because my difficulties stem from AS, doesn't mean that AS causes infantilism. It is, in my opinion, just one of many ways to cope with difficulties, no matter what caused them.

So to include infantilism as a "symptom" of AS isn't accurate, but I understand why it was done. The cause-and-effect relationship still holds true.

I can relate to this. (I've read only what Wiki writes about infantilism, so I don't know much about it.)

For me it is not sexual too, I don't wear diapers, use pacifiers. I can only relate to "fantasies of a return to infancy", or to an earlier stage of my life, say 3-9 years old. It may be connected to the desire described in the text as "some fantasize about being free of guilt, responsibility, or control". I remember the time I was amids my adolescent crying over my lost childhood... I feel guilty about it, I haven't grown out of it totally after so many years... :oops:

For coping mechanism, I understand what you write, I do it sometimes, acting in a little bit childish manner, just to avoid conflicts, confrontations, or smooth the conversation.


I'm an NT and I often miss my childhood. It seems like I had more friends then, and way less pressure. But then I remember the bullies and other problems I had as a kid, and I miss it a little less.



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28 Feb 2015, 7:39 am

I never get infantism. I've heard that there are people who do live the life like big babies. I just don't understand how a normal, mentally stable person would want to sit around all day in diapers sucking a pacifier. Yet I feel ashamed to take my teddy bear to my boyfriend's when I stay round. And yet there are people that exist who live the life of a baby? I just don't get it.


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