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Is Aspergers an excuse for bad behavior? Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  
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Should AS be an excuse for bad behavior?
Yes
20%
 20%  [ 24 ]
no
79%
 79%  [ 94 ]
Total Votes : 118

Joe90
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No. It's a bit like having a cold and coughing and sneezing literally over people and saying, ''I can cough and sneeze everywhere all I want, I have a cold.'' You still have to have some respect, like using a tissue or coughing or sneezing into your hand then washing your hands more regularly, if you can help it. But if you say ''I have a cold so this is why I keep coughing and sneezing'' is acceptable. (Well you don't have to literally say it in those words but you know what I mean).

Whenever I'm bad, I never say ''I have Asperger's, I can act like that when I want.'' That is just being disrespectful.

Using AS as a reason for some non-typical behaviour is OK because it's being open and honest. But I never use it as an excuse.
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pokerface
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Joe90 wrote:
No. It's a bit like having a cold and coughing and sneezing literally over people and saying, ''I can cough and sneeze everywhere all I want, I have a cold.'' You still have to have some respect, like using a tissue or coughing or sneezing into your hand then washing your hands more regularly, if you can help it. But if you say ''I have a cold so this is why I keep coughing and sneezing'' is acceptable. (Well you don't have to literally say it in those words but you know what I mean).

Whenever I'm bad, I never say ''I have Asperger's, I can act like that when I want.'' That is just being disrespectful.

Using AS as a reason for some non-typical behaviour is OK because it's being open and honest. But I never use it as an excuse.


What is the excuse of NT's for their misbehaviour?
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League_Girl
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 9:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

daydreamer84 wrote:
^^^
I know that people use it that way, "excuses, excuses, excuses". That;'s the stigma. I'm just saying that there are good excuses. So bad weather is a bad excuse for being late for work but getting in a car accident and having two broken legs and a concussion and being in the hospital because of it is a good excuse for not coming in to work. It's still technically an excuse because it's an explanation that lessens how much you're at fault for being late for work.


My husband once lost his job for getting in a car accident and being in the hospital and couldn't call them because he didn't know the number for work.
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daydreamer84
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

League_Girl wrote:
daydreamer84 wrote:
^^^
I know that people use it that way, "excuses, excuses, excuses". That;'s the stigma. I'm just saying that there are good excuses. So bad weather is a bad excuse for being late for work but getting in a car accident and having two broken legs and a concussion and being in the hospital because of it is a good excuse for not coming in to work. It's still technically an excuse because it's an explanation that lessens how much you're at fault for being late for work.


My husband once lost his job for getting in a car accident and being in the hospital and couldn't call them because he didn't know the number for work.


Sad Well, I guess your husband was partially at fault for not knowing his work phone number. Still, I'd say being in hospital due to a car accident is a pretty good excuse. Sometimes no matter how good an excuse you have, if you're not at work when you need to be you get fired. I'd still say that him being in the car accident lessened the amount that he was at fault for not showing up for work and therefore losing his job.
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Sweetleaf
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

By fit do we mean a meltdown they can't control or deliberately causing a scene, as for the insulting people I don't see AS as an excuse for that though it is possible for someone with autism to say something that is taken wrong. So I guess it really depends on what the situation is and what happened.
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dunya
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the discussion on "reason" or "explanation" rather than "excuse".
Not knowing an action is offensive or hurtful can be given as a reason. But if that person continues to give offense it might be because they have been unable to learn the lesson or because they want to do it again despite being told it's considered offensive.
One is about lack of comprehension the other about not taking responsibility. This applies to all people not just Autism/AS.

An example to consider. A man gets into a relationship and promises to remain faithful. He is unfaithful and says "It's because I'm Aspergers. I didn't know I was Aspergers before, so I'm not responsible to live up to promises an Aspie is unable to keep" as his explanation.
He is asking her to believe that being Aspergers means a person cannot be expected to remain faithful.

I tend to the opinion he is using Aspergers as an excuse. He might not be able to see why she is upset because he doesn't understand other people's feelings, but he did decide to lie to her in order to get her to commit to the relationship in the first place.
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Mirror21
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 9:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The_Perfect_Storm wrote:
If accidental. Though steps need to be taken to make it less likely to occur again.

Depends on many things factors though.
^ that
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Verdandi
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In my experience, I've found that people who are being jerks tend to find other excuses for it. They blame someone else for provoking them, or the say they had a bad day (I think this can be legitimate - sometimes people do transfer negative emotions to something other than the cause), or they claim that because they didn't intend any insult then what they said could not possibly be insulting (this happens on this forum occasionally).
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Tomzy95
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 9:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Definitely not! A kid in my class last year was the biggest brat! And he was intentionally doing it aswell because he hated the subject. This happened all year and when finally the teacher threatened to call his parents he pulled up the Aspie card as an excuse, then everything was okay after that, people like that agitate me.
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Wandering_Stranger
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do know someone who blames his Autism (as well as me Mad ) for his behaviour. He's high functioning enough to know right from wrong.
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League_Girl
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I knew an aspie online who used it to pray on minors and women to see their penises and naked pictures of them and all and boobs and their pelvis areas and not take no for an answer. He also liked to hear them pee. He said his AS was that bad. Rolling Eyes
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