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lenini056
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Age: 34
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31 Mar 2014, 3:24 am

I'm having some recent issues with psychosis, depression and post traumatic stress disorder which took a huge tool on my life. Last week I tried to commit suicide since I was feeling so neglected and lonely but I stopped myself before I took my own life. Also I've been trying to overcome my phobias, and fears that trigger my psychosis such as the fear of rejection, superstitions and especially the dark side of religion with self CBT. It was going well but I kinda got too over observational, self centered and pessimistic with everything that resulted in losing friends, my family's trust and recently got banned from the chat room (it was very devastating but I'm not gonna complain about that issue since it was all my fault and deserved it). Finally, PSTD is preventing me to be open minded with people, making new friends and even fears to obtain a stable relationship without being so paranoid with everyone. I wish there's a better way to overcome all the mental issues without causing damage to myself and others including my family while dealing with too many problems with people that put me down a lot. I used to be on medication but they did little help and almost got me killed with the horrible side effects it brought to me. So I've been completely free of meds since 2011 which I managed to overcome a ton of problems in my mind without them. The only obstacle in the way is finding a way to be more open to people, respecting everyone's tastes, becoming more brave and being more optimistic with life as time passes. All in all, I just wish to have more support, understanding and trust from people to overcome my mental problems without isolating myself even more everyday nor taking meds. :'( :help: :pale:



Delilah85
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Joined: 30 Mar 2014
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31 Mar 2014, 4:27 pm

I think you've come to a good place in your search for support and understanding. There are many people here from all different backgrounds who can help you. I too am suspicious of people, and avoid making new friends. I don't even bother anymore. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I've had so many very terrible experiences with people that I've just given up. I really wish I could give you some positive advice on this. I don't believe that all people are selfish and intolerant, but I think that most of them are. Many people are unwilling to attempt to understand invisible illnesses. If you look "normal" then you must be "normal" in their minds.

Are you currently seeing any sort of therapist? I would urge you to. If nothing else it gives you someone to go through your journey with, and a safe space to express yourself. A good therapist will even offer helpful advice.

I understand your reluctance to take medication. I've never had anything almost kill me, but I've had uncommon side effects to many things. There are so few psychiatric medications that I can take. I was really happy on prozac, but it made me manic, which eventually made me unhappy with it. I think the medications I'm on at the moment are just making me more depressed. I really need to find a way to get out of this black hole, so I understand how you feel.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I do recommend sticking it out here. You'll find a ton of support, and actual helpful responses from other people. Good luck in your journey.



em_tsuj
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31 Mar 2014, 10:59 pm

Hang in there. You'll figure it out. I have multiple mental health problems too, and I agree; it sucks. If you keep looking for answers and seeking support, I know you will one day find what works for you. I'm glad you didn't succeed in taking your life. Perhaps the worst is over.



FluttercordAspie93
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Location: San Antonio, TX

05 Apr 2014, 11:08 pm

I have Asperger's, ADHD, NVLD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and possibly depression, and I've been having a lousy time.

But thankfully I've been getting the help that I need, and hopefully you do too.



lenini056
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Joined: 5 Sep 2013
Age: 34
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06 Apr 2014, 10:22 pm

Thank you guys for all the support you all gave me. I am more lucid and alert now which is great news for my mentality to be more stable. Hopefully that everything will be solved by the end and currently feel that I found a way to get back on feet and continue with me life. :)



lenini056
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Joined: 5 Sep 2013
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 14

06 Apr 2014, 10:23 pm

Thank you guys for all the support you all gave me. I am more lucid and alert now which is great news for my mentality to be more stable. Hopefully that everything will be solved by the end and currently feel that I found a way to get back on feet and continue with me life. :)



heavenlyabyss
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07 Apr 2014, 12:20 am

lenini056 wrote:
I'm having some recent issues with psychosis, depression and post traumatic stress disorder which took a huge tool on my life. Last week I tried to commit suicide since I was feeling so neglected and lonely but I stopped myself before I took my own life. Also I've been trying to overcome my phobias, and fears that trigger my psychosis such as the fear of rejection, superstitions and especially the dark side of religion with self CBT. It was going well but I kinda got too over observational, self centered and pessimistic with everything that resulted in losing friends, my family's trust and recently got banned from the chat room (it was very devastating but I'm not gonna complain about that issue since it was all my fault and deserved it). Finally, PSTD is preventing me to be open minded with people, making new friends and even fears to obtain a stable relationship without being so paranoid with everyone. I wish there's a better way to overcome all the mental issues without causing damage to myself and others including my family while dealing with too many problems with people that put me down a lot. I used to be on medication but they did little help and almost got me killed with the horrible side effects it brought to me. So I've been completely free of meds since 2011 which I managed to overcome a ton of problems in my mind without them. The only obstacle in the way is finding a way to be more open to people, respecting everyone's tastes, becoming more brave and being more optimistic with life as time passes. All in all, I just wish to have more support, understanding and trust from people to overcome my mental problems without isolating myself even more everyday nor taking meds. :'( :help: :pale:


Sorry to hear that. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder with psychotic symptoms about 10 years ago and my life has never been the same. It's tough especially since few people truly understand.
,
My advice: stay away from anyone who puts you down. You don't need them in your life. Unfortunately, if it's family you'll have to deal with them, but otherwise, you don't need them. Also, be careful on message boards. This message board itself has some bullies.

You don't need to trust everyone or try to do everything all at once. Not everyone is deserving of trust. But just know that there are people who care about you who wouldn't want to see you gone. This is what helps me through my darker times.