Things bothering me and letting go

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

Siamese
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2014
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 54

07 Apr 2014, 1:05 am

About a year and a half ago I met an aspie in college he is 10 years older than me. i am in my early 20s. I'm just going to cut to the chase. (I don't have to worry about him reading this because he thinks wrongplanet is a sob site and a waste of time). This guy was cool for a while. But from time to time, he'd ignore me, I say something about it like "If you got my message late then why didnt you just contact me when you got it" or he'd come up with excuses that he lost his phone, but then id let it go and never bring it up again (I felt since he was an aspie I'd cut him some slack). Within our 9th month of friendship he just blew me off, it was the day before my birthday which sucked. He would come to my dorm room and knock on my door to hang out and I did the same, just as much as he did. But one day he just completely blew me off, he never came to knock on my door again. never answered my calls again, and never contacted me again. I could see when he was in his dorm because his my room because he often left the lights on with his blinds open. All I had to do was look out my curtains and I could see because we lived in the same building and his dorm room was perpendicular than mine. What bothered me was that he had it seemed he had no shame in ignoring me since he just left his curtains open. i dont know what I did to trigger him to act like this. When I did see him one time, he acted as if he didnt see me, so I just decided to do the same

Certain trates about him that bothered me:
-He was a bit too "gray" area for an aspie.
-He did once tell me that he had other friends who complained about his flakiness
-He had a friend he ignored that then killed himself
-He would say things like "sometimes you have to look out for number 1, meaning you are suppose to blow people off whenever you feel like it, and if they feel bad, that's their feelings" (if the subject did arise)
-These kinds of things seemed to not bother him at all (like people ignoring him or people ignoring other people.) and he in fact did it. "If someone doesnt respond there could be a million reasons it doesnt always mean their ignoring you"
-Certain subjects he didnt seem very logical about (but I guess that's fine).
-Other than that he was a pretty cool guy and we did some fun things.

I don't know why he would do this to me. It baffles me till this day. He often said he didnt feel we had much in common. Another thing, I am black and he is white.

Do you think his mindset was the reason he could do these things? I dont get why he just one day started ignoring me.



em_tsuj
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,786

07 Apr 2014, 5:56 am

You didn't do anything wrong.



Marky9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,625
Location: USA

07 Apr 2014, 7:17 am

Siamese wrote:
I dont get why he just one day started ignoring me.


I'm sorry to learn of your circumstances, I would be feeling sad and confused were I in your place.

Assuming he knows his reason(s), he ain't telling so there is no way of ever knowing. My experience has been that type of situation arises in life from time to time and all I can do is move on. The lesson for me in such instances is to improve my abilities to accept, let go, and then move on.


_________________
"Righteous indignation is best left to those who are better able to handle it." - Bill W.