Have you ever noticed ...?

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Have you ever noticed that the people who say "You're paranoid", "It's all in your head", "Just relax", "Get over it", "You worry too much about other people" are usually the people who act flaky, do the annoying things, ignore you from time to time, never really get upset in the way that you get upset?

Is there a connection?

Who said that!?


I know you're there, I can hear you thinking .

There is definately a connection. What you are describing is the divide between people who worry and people who don't.

When they say those things to you, it's just another way of saying they think you worry too much. The characteristics you list come from lack of worrying too.

flaky=not worried about schedules or appointments

do annoying things= not worried about what other people think

ignore you from time to time= not worried about maintaining relationships, they figure that will sort itself out without them worrying about it

never really get upset= global not worrying

They are trying to nudge you over to their world of not worrying but it won't work. Born worriers stay that way for life. I am one too and people often say I worry too much. But the flipside of that is I never flake on a meetup with somebody.

The difference between caution/skepticism and paranoia (the common use of this term, not the medical condition) is one's social status, and to a lesser extent, wealth. So for example, if a smooth, popular person says "something ain't right about that guy", it's him being careful, and the "ain't right" guy has to be ostracized. If a socially awkward person says "something ain't right about that guy", it's him being paranoid and therefore not worthy of an opinion, and the "ain't right" guy is actually a cool dude.

So in your case, unfortunately, people saying those things were subtly telling you that they were superior to you. Sorry, but it's true.

Strange... I go through that.

I am black, I have asperger's and I am a male. I've found that when black people complain about racism, most of the time they are right (sometimes it's just sensitivity and we misconstrue things) and other races tell us "It's always because you're black, hah?"
Black people tend to be on the lower social class than most.
And from my experience black people are the nicest race of people who usually don't discriminate. When I have problems due to my race or because of Asperger's, it's never black people doing it to me.

When guys complain about women (I'm so happy I'm out of that world and don't worry about that junk anymore), people tell us "You are being too needy", "She's busy, she's not ignoring you", "be a man, step up your game". And after I stopped worry about women, I realized I was right the whole time (Women have it easier than men in the dating world) therefore when women complain, they sometimes get told the same things as men, but people sympathize with them more. And I've noticed that women tend to just blow off guys no prob, while men do it to women too, I've noticed that most of the time we have a harder time doing it.