How to discover if I am Asperger or not ?

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freeshost
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16 Apr 2014, 5:41 pm

Hello, everybody,

I live in Switzerland. I speak French (and a little German, English and Spanish). I already participate on another French-speaking forum about Asperger's syndrom but I subscribed to this forum because I wanted to discover more, and because I like forums (we can discuss about any topic without caring about social interactions :lol: ).

Recently I contacted a specialist of Asperger's syndrom. Soon (end of Aprile) I'll have first tests (among others things eye-tracking). to explore two paths : Asperger's syndrom and high potential (giftedness). Don't know what it'll be. Wait and see.

I am interested in several things : mathematics, sciences (especially sciences about behaviour and language), music, ethics. I don't fit to high school formations. I prefer learn myself at my own rythm/speed. I prefer be alone than together (even if I am interested about Alone Together about Sherry Turkle). I don't like talking just for talking. Often I don't know what to talk about (about wheather ? :lol: ). I don't want to bore the other person.

I like forums because we haven't to care about social interactions, because we make the message at our own speed, we read it again and again before posting it, we can correct it, we can structure it. I don't always understand non-verbal language. Especially I haven't the automatism to adapt my language (especially non-verbal language) when someone is sad. My trend is to relativize. I typically say : "My condolences !", "It's the end of a story.", "Don't know what to say." (or nothing) But my non-verbal language is not spontaneous, I don't cry.

I rarely cry. I noticed I cry when music AND sad event come together. Anyone of both misses, and I don't cry. Let me watch a video of 11th. September 2001 with music of "Wake me up" (band Green Day), I cry more with music than if I cut the sound. The same for videos like

h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e .c o m / w a t c h ? v = I F g D W k k H H h U

(but it's about laughing :lol: ).

I prefer a global vision but I don't like generalizations - better is diversity. I think before talking. When I talk to anyone, I learnt to watch his/her eyes (it seems to be important for him/her, but not to me). But I prefer to obseve everything around me. For me, all living beings are equal. None is worth than anyone else (even in my family). I wouldn't cry more if my grandmother ore my mother die. If I cry, it would be because I rationalized. "Yes, she is sad her mother died." or by contagion.

My learnings about social psychology brought me a lot about cognitive bias. Sometimes I tell myself that neurotypical people are slave of cognitive bias. But maybe they think we think too much or too slowly.



Last edited by freeshost on 17 Apr 2014, 8:27 am, edited 2 times in total.

IamRob
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16 Apr 2014, 10:24 pm

Hello,i can relate to most of that ,i cant say i don't cry but it deffinetly intensifies with music,sometimes commercials get me ,i was going through a nervous breakdown a few weeks ago and i popped on some Tchaikovsky and balled my brains out for 18 min straight,and pretty violently at the intense parts.
I too can speak french but not likely the same as yours its "quebecois"and i share your vision of equality and it doesn't stop at living beings,it includes humans ,animals,trees and plants,the sand the earth and everything in between,it has led me to my own personal beliefs and my own kind of religion.though i am somewhat of a hypocrite as i eat meat,but humans and carnivores wouldn't be here if they didn't eat meat so it kind of helps me rationalize it.



natibbkf
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16 Apr 2014, 11:13 pm

Hello!
I'm new here too, and am also unsure of my condition (I don't think that's a good word for it, but its all that I can come up with right now). Lucky you'll soon know! I can definitely relate to the weirdness of how we express emotion. There are times I'm pretty stoic--at least outwardly. I don't know how to comfort/console people. All I can do is try to help them solve their problem. Unfortunately, most people don't want that. They just want a hug or comforting words. I don't know how to do those things. It's not that I don't care or have no concern for them. But doing those things feel wrong and fake. Hugging is uncomfortable (unless its my husband), and consolation words are typically lies. Unlike you I'm a crier though. I cry over everything, sometimes the slightest things. But it has to be something which affects/or is related to me. And usually its over frustration that I'm not being understood or expressing myself correctly. I also cry easily when I see homeless people in the street, those sad animal commercials, or when I think too much about other injustices.

I hate making small talk too, and don't the see the point in doing anything, including talking, if there is not a point to it. I've become better at it working in retail, but I still stumble a lot and resort to talking about the weather :p

Well, welcome, and I hope to see you around here often.



Toy_Soldier
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17 Apr 2014, 9:27 am

Welcome.

Well I can definitely say you are not the Asperger, that is Hans Asperger who died in 1980. He was Austrian anyway. :P

But I can also say I really am in awe of multilingual people. I am so not multilingual, and even living in foreign countries for years, still struggled just to learn basic survival communication.

Anyway, being unsure is quite common as there are many degrees of severity and some crossover with other conditions or situations.



freeshost
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17 Apr 2014, 10:08 am

Hello, thanks for your answers !

IamRob, tabarnak ! :lol: Tsé, j'aime beaucoup la musique québécoise et l'accent québécois (surtout chez les femmes). Les Cowboys Fringants, Les Vulgaires Machins ! (et bien d'autres, mais je ne vais pas tous les lister icitte) Okay, let's speak English here. We are not supposed to speak French a long time on this forum.

Something strange : I am not afraid to be in a show, in many people who dance, scream, sing, drink beer or ice tea ! Proof ? 2007 and 2008 I follow the Quebecer band Les Cowboys Fringants in many shows of their trip in France (and many other Quebecer musicians). Still now I am not afraid to go to the next show.

natibbkf, do you want free hugs ?

freehugscampaign . org

I have the impression that many people don't want free hug. It would be good if free hugs were a habit. Free hug even with an unknow person in the street. According to me, hugs should be free and shared, not exclusive (just for some of our relations).

Toy_Soldier, my "second first" name is Jean (= John [English] = Hans [German] ; I've a friend named Hanspeter = Jean-Pierre). :lol:

If you wnat to learn French, we can help you.



IamRob
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17 Apr 2014, 7:02 pm

Freeshost,
Nice,i always loved swearing in french,it sounds cooler and there are many to choose from and they go so well together.ive always been more of an english music fan but the ones you mentioned i do like and as a kid i liked les villains pingouins,i didnt know les cowboys fringants toured in france
That free hug thing can be good but maybe awkward.
A hug it better than an evil stare
Would love to help teaching french but it can be tricky,verbs(so annoying),masculin and feminin words and many exeptions.