Having to keep my problems secret on the job.

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Lostathome
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06 Apr 2014, 3:11 pm

I finally managed to get a job. One-four hours a day, every weekday at the uni. It sucks, but it's a decent starter job. I'm struggling though, or at least I feel like I do. I sort deliveries My workload varies depending on how many deliveries there are. I'm fine when there's only a few (though that usually means I only get one hour's pay for that day) but when there's a lot, I start to feel panicky, and some days I'm feeling less social than others and I get startled when someone tries to talk to me. I think I've hidden it from everyone well enough so far, but it's only a matter of time until I have a really bad day or a meltdown.

I need them not to find out. They never asked me during the application process, so they couldn't prosecute me for not saying earlier, but they're normal people, they'll never understand, they'll never even try, they'll probably fire me the moment they find out. My disability advisor says they legally can't do that, but the judge and jury would be normal people too, so I'd never win a case against them.

The job stresses me out already, and I don't want to have to deal with the effort of appearing to be completely normal as well.



PerfectlyDarkTails
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06 Apr 2014, 4:07 pm

It a common problem I'm having. Though I haven't been able to achieve any meaningful work at all before diagnosed, professionals and advocacy suggest to disclose it every time I'm applying for a job. I've been with advocacy for 6 months which out success, its likely that due to the very place I'm living, stating any disorder early on puts prospective employers completely off despite experience and advanced qualifications.

Because my AS and co-morbid conditions will play a significant role in any employment, it is literally essential to declare it from past experiences that has caused some physical and mental health issues. I'm on disability until a company can reasonably adjust, train and unlock my full professional potential.

The law, depending where you are cannot discriminate against the disabled. If people see me struggling on the job, it would look like I'm being lazy or assume any other number of things. A company that discriminates even before they even look at you are not worth my time.

I don't know... It feels deceitful of me to withhold important information that does impact the way I can work. If I was milder or didn't have significant co-morbid conditions, I cannot mask the fact there's something's different. Didn't help me before disclosure, didn't help me after disclosure but I'm getting the right help and the right steps into disabled employment.


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SquidinHostBody
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14 Apr 2014, 1:24 am

I have a stressful job. A 60 hour a week job on top of that, and there is ONE thing that helps me through without collapsing on the floor in the fetal position.

If you don't already have one, go get an MP3 player, and fill it with music. Fill it with your favorite songs, but make sure you have a playlist for every occasion. I find soft, slow music lowers my stress level and allows me to slow down when working. If you're having a problem with panicking on a large order, try that. Get something loud and fast to work out our anger and frustrations, and that really gets you moving.

Most employers shouldn't have a problem with your own personal music at the workplace, provided you can be mindful of the people around you and take instructions. Perhaps just listen with one earbud. Ask your employer first if you are unsure.

It has saved my life more than once.


Edit: Did I mention that when you're listening to music AND working, you don't have to mask anything? Just hum along and keep moving, nobody will think twice about your normality, (Or lack thereof) :lol:



izzeme
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14 Apr 2014, 6:47 am

the best solution for work-stress induced overloads is taking breaks, several short ones, preferably not during 'normal' lunchtime, comparable to a smokebreak (but not nesessarily to take a smoke, although that might help as well).

i myself work a lot better if i take 5 minutes every half-hour ish to cool down a bit, just go to the toilet, choose the furthest cubicle and sit there, doing nothing.
if you explain that high load makes you a bit stressed, and point attention to the fact that you dont take smokebreaks, where many others do and are allowed (there are probarbly some collegues that smoke) it shouldn't be too hard to get your few minute breaks approved; as long as you finish your work in time.

also, listening to music works quite well, but is not always practical and in some jobs harder to get to do, taking a short break is easier usually (especially at a new job, just say you are going to smoke one, noone is going to check that really)



PaulHubert
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15 Apr 2014, 8:06 pm

I talked about disclosure to my immediate supervisor to my therapist, we rehearsed a casual discussion about it, and we wrapped it up with "I'm assuming you'll keep this confidential" and "please feel free to ask me any questions about it". My desired accommodation is to work on a single category of service requests (I work at a IT help desk) for a chunk of time, then move on to another category, not just any service request at random. I haven't brought it up yet because I'm waiting for the perfect moment, but I may need to stop waiting since there probably won't be a perfect moment.

I asked a networking chair for my school about fairly narrow minded careers in IT (master of one craft as opposed to jack of all trades), and he told me that no employer is interested in making accommodations for you, they'll find someone else, don't waste your time with "extra time" on IT certification exams, the real world won't work like that.

So there are two sides of the coin, best advise is to focus on reasonable accommodations; if it's optional to work in a quiet room to a loud room, and the boss asks people to fill up the loud room first before people can fill seats in the quiet room (bosses like to have control over little things, they want to run a tight ship), then disclosing your diagnoses so that you can sit in the quiet room and avoid sensory overload is a reasonable request; as would occasional 5 minute breaks for "burnout" which is a symptom of information overload (I personally think occasional 5 minute breaks are a reasonable accommodation for aspies, I'm not 100% sure all employers do). An unreasonable request is for a client service rep to work with less clients in a day because he or she becomes exhausted from interaction, if the employer demands a certain level of productivity, and you aren't able to meet it, then you are simply under-qualified, and asking for the accommodation will either get you fired, or end up being laughed at in your face following a loss of respect from your boss. If the accommodation doesn't hurt anything, then I believe disclosure is appropriate, as long as it doesn't imply an overall lack of capability to perform the job.



Davvo7
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16 Apr 2014, 5:46 am

I thought long and hard about disclosing to my employers of 6 years and finally did so 12 months ago.

Yesterday I was given notice of possible (probable) redundancy, almost 12 months to the day. I win a £10 bet with a colleague who said that disclosing was the best thing and having a formal diagnosis with accompanying paperwork would be really good for me. I disagreed. Not sure I want to collect that bet.

They have said they will try and re-deploy me within the organisation, but they know certain environments are impossible for me to cope with, so I will no doubt be offered something along those lines for them to tick the box. The DDA appears to be a guidance document rather than a piece of legislation.

The worse part is that I have to carry on going in and working my normal day as if nothing has happened on the vain hope that they may offer me another role I could carry out. If not, then I am finished and do not imagine I will find anything again.

If you have any choice, don't disclose.


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namaste
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16 Apr 2014, 11:39 am

Davvo7 wrote:
I thought long and hard about disclosing to my employers of 6 years and finally did so 12 months ago.

Yesterday I was given notice of possible (probable) redundancy, almost 12 months to the day. I win a £10 bet with a colleague who said that disclosing was the best thing and having a formal diagnosis with accompanying paperwork would be really good for me. I disagreed. Not sure I want to collect that bet.

They have said they will try and re-deploy me within the organisation, but they know certain environments are impossible for me to cope with, so I will no doubt be offered something along those lines for them to tick the box. The DDA appears to be a guidance document rather than a piece of legislation.

The worse part is that I have to carry on going in and working my normal day as if nothing has happened on the vain hope that they may offer me another role I could carry out. If not, then I am finished and do not imagine I will find anything again.

If you have any choice, don't disclose.

right i disclosed about my depression and lo im asked to leave.
never disclose...pretend, act
act confident
act like you are the best
the moment you give up you are thrown out

remember broken and defective pieces have no value in this competitive world.


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Davvo7
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17 Apr 2014, 3:25 am

प्रशंसा करना - prashanasa karana

I respect you for your honesty.


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namaste
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17 Apr 2014, 12:34 pm

Davvo7 wrote:
प्रशंसा करना - prashanasa karana

I respect you for your honesty.

my honesty has drowned me


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TunkanTasunka
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18 Apr 2014, 5:31 am

namaste wrote:
my honesty has drowned me


...this hits me with a truth.
i've drowned also. many times over.


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