would living on my own change anything

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brigros
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17 Apr 2014, 9:56 pm

I have learning disabilities and cerebral palsy. i am 28 years old, unemployed, and still live at home. My mom is very overprotective, and has mental illness, which she denies. my dad takes care of me. He doesn't know if i'm ready to leave, even though i'm 28. i'm sick of it but i don't know if my life would be better if i moved. I tried to find a job, voc rehab said i was too disabled. i tried volunteering, nobody calls back. i just wonder if anything would change if i lived on my own. they don't have supported living in my state, they have intermittant "CILA" and i heard you only get 15 hours of care. does anyone live in one? is it better than a group home. would they even accept me if i'm in a wheelchair? i need help with showering, dressing, making food, driving. would my life change at all?



vickygleitz
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17 Apr 2014, 10:57 pm

I do not know what CILA is. I have seen some pretty amazing group homes though. What you are going through now has to be frustrating. Have you checked to see if there are any adult centers around where you could meet different people, learn new things, just have a change of pace without moving out just yet? Or joining a support group? Speaking with a social worker about a plan? Asking your dad [MAYBE mom, maybe not] to help you figure out your options. whatever happens, I wish you well.



auntblabby
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17 Apr 2014, 11:02 pm

people who live alone run the very real risk of being lonely/bereft of company.



brigros
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17 Apr 2014, 11:14 pm

vickygleitz wrote:
I do not know what CILA is. I have seen some pretty amazing group homes though. What you are going through now has to be frustrating. Have you checked to see if there are any adult centers around where you could meet different people, learn new things, just have a change of pace without moving out just yet? Or joining a support group? Speaking with a social worker about a plan? Asking your dad [MAYBE mom, maybe not] to help you figure out your options. whatever happens, I wish you well.

its like a group home. community integrated living arrangement. or you can live alone and only get 15 hours of support.



kraftiekortie
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18 Apr 2014, 7:27 am

Great sign! You have the desire to "leave the nest!" That means you're an adult. Does you dad treat you well? I'm sorry you don't get along with your mother.

Do you have knowledge of programming computers? Maybe that might be a good bet. You could work from home. I wish I knew more about how you could get your required care.

Have you gone to college?



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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18 Apr 2014, 2:21 pm

From what I've heard, some group homes are good and some are terrible. And a lot depends if the staff is trying and if they have the skills to run it right.

It may not always be possible, but request to speak with someone who has 'graduated' from the group living situation so to speak. Such a person might be able to give you a reasonably honest and candid view. This is similar to asking for a reference from a business professional.