When understanding doesn't help

Page 2 of 2 [ 23 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

21 Apr 2014, 11:02 am

Adamantium wrote:

I have all these weird and bad memories of being rejected or shut out or treated strangely - four decades worth - and now I have this diagnosis which finally makes the whole thing comprehensible.

So what?

If they had known I was autistic, would those people have liked me more? Rejected me less? Would I have been able to avoid doing whatever it was that alienated them?

It doesn't make any difference. I am still not able to connect the way I would like. Other will still find me odd in an off-putting way.

I have these moments of keen recall of these particular moments, and now I realize what was going on, but it doesn't make it less painful.

I guess I can use the knowledge to forgive the people who were particularly sh***y to me, but it really doesn't help.

Does anyone wrestle with the same moments of recognition/realization and come up with something more positive?

These thoughts are depressing me this morning.

Kids knew I was in speech therapy and my mom told these neighborhood bullies I couldn't talk when I was little and I was deaf, that still didn't change anything so I doubt if they knew I had AS would also change anything, same as knowing I have a disability than just being stupid and not a nice person. I went to speech, was in OT, went to special ed and that still didn't make a difference. Lot of kids went to OT in my school anyway and there were some kids that looked normal that also went to special ed. an lot of kids did speech therapy in my school so why would they think any different of me?

_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.

Here
Deinonychus

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 379
Location: California

21 Jul 2014, 3:41 pm

Over time, people with Aspergers become proactive; to largely avoid those situations that present difficulties. Over time everybody concerned gains.

As Asperger awareness grows, both people with 'High-Functining Autism' and concerned Neurotypicals (NTs) notice welcome improvements!

There are always exceptions; if possible, avoid people, who for whatever reason choose to "keep their heads in the sand!"

Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1024
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

21 Jul 2014, 3:59 pm

Here wrote:

There are always exceptions; if possible, avoid people, who for whatever reason choose to "keep their heads in the sand!"

I don't understand this. Can you explain?

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

21 Jul 2014, 4:13 pm

There's an idiom based on the fact that ostriches tend to keep their head in the sand.

Basically, to "keep one's head in the sand" means "avoiding responsibility."

Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1024
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

21 Jul 2014, 4:49 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

There's an idiom based on the fact that ostriches tend to keep their head in the sand.

Basically, to "keep one's head in the sand" means "avoiding responsibility."

I know that expression, but I don't understand what it means in this post.

Here
Deinonychus

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 379
Location: California

21 Jul 2014, 5:29 pm

Adamantium wrote:

Here wrote:

There are always exceptions; if possible, avoid people, who for whatever reason choose to "keep their heads in the sand!"

I don't understand this. Can you explain?

Hello Adamantium,

Basically, I'm saying, if possible, avoid people who will remain ignorant/prejudiced; despite the growing awareness of Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Trust your "gut feelings" regarding people, and places best avoided!

Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1024
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

21 Jul 2014, 6:45 pm

Here wrote:

Adamantium wrote:

Here wrote:

There are always exceptions; if possible, avoid people, who for whatever reason choose to "keep their heads in the sand!"

I don't understand this. Can you explain?

Ahh! OK! Thanks.

Good advice.

Page 2 of 2 [ 23 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Jump to:

When understanding doesn't help Post Reply New Topic

When understanding doesn't help