traveling with autism

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Hello, my name is Tamara and I have a question. I have a 2 yr old son named Davian who is newly diagnosed with autism, my sister is getting married in a state that is approximately 30 hours away, I have never traveled more than an hour away with my son, I don't know whether to fly or drive to make the transition go as smoothly as possible.. also any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much!

It would help to know what your son's issues are. One thing we did was buy lots of little, inexpensive gifts and snacks. We wrapped them in decorative plastic bags which were closed with twist ties (making it easier to go through security). At each transition, my kids would have something new to open and play with or eat. I had been very nervous that my son might have a meltdown but he never did.

In my younger years my family traveled around for a living so I was somewhat used to it, but when I did feel overwhelmed it was because of the moving objects when to close or turning corners or getting to close to large drop offs near the road, strange as it sounds try using sun glasses, they helped me, it seems to take that edge off.

If money isn't a big issue I prefer (and always have preferred) airplanes to long road trips. Either one is rough on the senses, but the airplane can be kind of a cool experience if you get a window seat and take off during the day, and it's over sooner.

I think the gifts thing is a cool idea. My parents did a less formal version with me, allowing me to pick out paper doll books and gum which I could only have on the plane.

Gum and yawning helps with any pain in taking off. There's a diver's trick to equalize the pressure in ears that is helpful for landing. (hold the nose while attempting to gently exhale through the nose until the ears pop and feel better)

Even NT kids cry on the landing a lot.

Car trips are good for less than 6 hour drives, I think. More than that is asking a lot of a small child. And long car trips can screw with digestion as much as planes screw with ears. The gift thing can help a lot with those, too.

We don't know your child. One autistic child will find the motion of a car ride soothing and the next might hate all the noise included in car travel. Having said that, 30 hours is a lot for even a calm NT kid at that age.

Fly and bring someone to help who is less interested in staying at the wedding, in case he needs to be taken outside.

^^This

My son went through different stages of loving and loathing car motion. He cried a lot. I would have been afraid what would have happened if he screamed on the plane. I have heard there is a good deal of intolerance of screaming kids on a plane, which I can understand.

If the wedding was held during the loathing period, I would have either sent my regrets or had whichever of us was not related to the bride or groom stay home.

We did go to a local wedding when our son was little, and I took him out when he started crying over the wedding officiant. What screen_name said makes a lot of sense. Make sure there is back up. you may not need it, but you will glad to have it, just in case.

It really does depend on what his specific issues are, but I can tell you generally, I have done both with my kids, and these are some tips I have for flying:

-If you have a doctor's note specifying the child's diagnosis and how it effects them, you can skip lines for things like baggage check and security.
-Let the kid run around in the waiting room. Sure, people may give you dirty looks, but I guarantee you that their looks will be dirtier, when he wants to run around on the plane (this is good practise for flying with all little kids, autism or not)
-If you think he will cry, bring little note cards explaining that he has autism and you're sorry and maybe attach some chocolate to it. People will be nicer.
-If he sits well in a car seat, you can bring a car seat on-board
-If you need a break from people, if you ask the flight attendant nicely, they might let you come in their area where it's quieter and there are no people around - also the bathrooms are quieter than the rest of the plane
-Obviously bring headphones, snacks, books and toys.

My kids really like driving, so we do that whenever possible. But I have flown overseas a few times with my autistic children (to my native country)- I've even done it with no other adult and miraculously none of the other passengers murdered us! That said, I would never dream of taking my kids to a wedding...

These are REALLY good suggestions. We travel and fly alot- more when my son was younger before he was even diagnosed. Honestly at two years old, other travellers will not be surprised if he screams or throws fits- this will be tolerated and understood because of his age. (I'm worried now about flying with my son who is almost 4 now, because this behaviour will garner more attention and annoying disapproval than it did when he was younger)
You know what calms your kid down or reassures him best. For my son it's books and music. Bring whatever it is for your little one, use it often. Don't expect any downtime yourself (I'm sure you're used to that, though).

I wouldn't expect you will need the "autistic explanation" cards- I know NT 2 year olds that can can tantrum and scream like any autistic kid given the right circumstances and I've seen my fair share of kids freaking out on air planes. But if it will make you more comfortable, sure why not.

Once you've prepared as best you can for the travel, try your best to stay calm and decide before hand that you don't give any f*cks about what other people think (as usual, I hope) and get through it and know that it's harder on your little one than it is on you. AND remember it'll all be over soon. And THEN you can deal with jet lag and unfamiliar surroundings and change in routine etc. etc. etc.

I'm planning a big trip this summer so I'm right there with you! But we can't just stay shut in at home all our lives- we have some really wonderful travel memories and we hope to have many more. Good luck!

Does your child sit still to watch a movie, stay fairly quiet in a church service, etc.? If so, a plane ride won't be a problem. We preferred to travel in our own vehicle, where there is no problem with the amount of fidgeting and noise, and we can stop when we need to. For us, road trips have always gone great as long as there weren't too many hours between stops and there were interesting things to do. My dd packs a *very* large bag of things she needs to have beside her. At 2, a plane ride would have been much harder on all of our nerves.

I think every child will be different. My son has extreme sensory issues. He is 6 now and we still have not flown on an airplane with him. We have driven 8-10 hours in the car and he did fine. He would play with one of our phones or sleep. I personally wouldn't have ever considered flying with him then or right now, it would be too stressful for me and I don't need anymore stress! Something about being stuck on an airplane or in an airport gives me anxiety thinking about it. Plus I am not a huge fan of flying anyway! If I were in your shoes I would probably drive. But again, that is based on my son and my experiences.

Any child will be a giant pain in the butt on that sort of trip, AS or NT- almost doesn't matter at age 2. In my case my AS child was way easier to deal with at age 2 than my supposedly NT child. My NT child just wanted ot get up and run around, she doesn't like sitting still. When I drove to my dads house with her at that age, she cried the entire trip because she didn't want to be in the car seat. She bawled for 8 hours straight. My AS child at that age was utterly content to watch a dvd the entire time with out a peep.

Target what he likes and try to either bring it on the plane or put it in your car. If it were me, I would definately fly. Hands down. That way you can interact with him. Other wise he is just strapped into a rear facing seat in your car the whole time...

Ok this might make everyone think I am a horrible mom, but when I flew with my little guy between the age of 0-3(wasn't diagnosed at the time) I just gave him benadryl and he slept. I haven't flown w him since the diagnosis but prob would still dose him for another yr or two and would if he was NT. It was the appropriate dose for his age/weight. I work at a hospital and it was the anesthesiologist who told me about it, they do it for their kids. The air pressure is rough one baby/toddlers, it really hurts their delicate eardrums.

You must test run it though. For a very small percentage of kids, benadryl makes them crazy hyper. They sleep through the trip and even if it is long flight and they wake up before you could dose them again they are groggy. It is a win/win. You are saving them from unnecessary pain and they sleep so you and the rest of the plane have a good flight.

Yep to this. No flames here! We didn't dose DS for the whole flight (ours is always at least 14-16 hours!) just for the sleeping portion. Without his routine and all his stuff he needs to wind down and go to sleep there would be no way he'd go to sleep on a flight. So yep, proper dose of benadryl and off to dreamland he goes. He has taken it for allergies and reactions before anyway so it's no big deal.
Internet people get in a huff about giving kids safe doses of sleep-inducing meds- I've witnessed this on other sites. Whatever. They're the same people complaining when your kid is causing a ruckus.

Don't feel bad about the benedryl (or dramamine). My pediatrician told us to do the same for our NT child. I refused though because I'M sensitive to benedryl and I'm scared the kids might be too (about 3% of the population is "Sensitive" to benedryl... it doesn't make us tired, it makes us HYPER and gives us awful heart palpitations, it can be quite scary) so I didn't give it to her. On our next trip she may be getting dramamine though now that she is older and STILL a hyper little pill. I'm sorry, I'm her mom and I love her but this kid is HYPER and completely stubborn to boot.

This was my son. I gave him benadryl before a flight when he was about 2 1/2. I even booked an evening flight. But he was so hyper from the benadryl he ran up and down the aisle of the plane for almost an hour!! The flight attendants kept asking when he was going to sleep and just smiled and said, not during this flight!!

Now my son is 10 and it is much easier to travel. We usually fly Southwest and they do not make you turn off your electronics during take off and landing. So he has either his 3DS or an iPad and the flight goes by pretty quickly!!