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Pietus
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28 Jul 2014, 10:25 pm

Hello, so yes, I hear voices.

A few different ones, it can be very loud (In my head anyway), they all talk over each other and sometimes argue. Only thing is, there are two main ones. An Angry one, which is paranoid and obsessive, it swears a lot, tells me to kill myself, that people hate me and are following me and all that.

There's also the other one, which pretty much just argues with the angry voice. I usually listen to this one.

But at night, or when I'm alone, the angry voice gets so much louder. And talks over everyone else, it makes much more sense. A few nights ago, in a weird delusional state, I stayed up for three hours in the middle of the night, writing down everything I knew about the MH17-plane incident overseas. I thought I could fix it, that the people in charge were looking for me. This voice backed me up and told me they would find me soon, so I better do it, but other people wouldn't understand.

When I woke up, I found about 10 pages taped to a wall, with little precise memory about what I did. They didn't make much sense, and often were written side on, things were circled, underlined, spelt wrong, it was a little bit frightening.

Last night I spent 2 hours writing about the 2 people in my head, trying to figure out which one was lying. I wrote about people following me and hating me.

It was scary. The angrier voice gets much louder when I'm feeling low, I have no energy/motivation, and I just sit there with him yelling and swearing at me, telling me how worthless I am.

Is this.....normal?

What the hell is going on?



Dantac
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28 Jul 2014, 10:54 pm

Obviously not normal at all. Sounds like schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder. Take all the stuff you've written down during those states and take it to a psychologist asap.



Humanaut
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28 Jul 2014, 11:20 pm

Could be schizophrenia. As Dantac suggested, seek immediate professional assistance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auditory_hallucination



Pietus
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29 Jul 2014, 12:13 am

I don't know about Schizophrenia, it doesn't really seem that severe. Some minor kind of semi-delusions I guess, but only at night, or sometimes when I'm alone. Schizophrenics usually seem to experience more of an actual psychotic break. I'm not psychotic, just....I don't know. I just have a few weird things.

I was just wondering if this kind of thing happened to anyone else, and if they know why?



beneficii
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29 Jul 2014, 1:43 am

It is not necessarily schizophrenia, as hearing voices isn't exclusive to that disorder. We are not equipped to diagnose you.* Nevertheless, if these voices are bothering you and you are starting to lose touch with reality with overvalued ideas or delusions, even if briefly, I would recommend speaking to someone you can trust about these things, be they a mental health professional, a family member, or a friend. You should not battle this alone.

* And need I remind people that multiple personality disorder is today called dissociative identity disorder and is a condition completely separate from psychotic illness?


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RedDog
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30 Jul 2014, 10:07 pm

Yes and no.

As you probably know, hearing voices is not normal.

But yeah, things tend to get uglier at night, or at least when you go to sleep.
I have a phobia to a specific type of insect, and at night my brain tortures me. I have images of the insect all the time, really detailed and vivid images (imagination, not hallucination).
It really seams like my brain wants to torture me. If I try to fight it or control it, it get worse, I feel myself the insect (thank you kafka) or start pouring from everywhere. I usually have to open my eyes so it gets better.
So yes... night sucks.

And about the voices. I don't think the problem is that you heard them, the problem is that you listen to them.
I think all humans have a lot of personalities inside, they just don't know it because they are silent.

If you hear voices you have direct access to your unconsciousness, this isn't necessary something bad. Actually it can be something really amazing, you can talk your problems to yourself and solve your traumas.
It can really be really powerful.

You are supposed to be the main personality, you should take control over the others. You make the decisions, you decide what to do, what other think or tells you, it doesn't matter. You are the ruler of your own mind. Or at least you should be... I think that is the difference between being different and being sick.
Oh, and you can think of yourself like a ruler, maybe a king. You can be a tyrant and impose yourself, but the others can make your life a living hell (quite literally). So the smartest thing to do is trying to be a good king, you still rule but try to make your people happy.

The best advice that I can give you: go to the gym and lift some heavy ass weights.
Of course the exercise will be good for your body and your energy, but the purpose is learning to feel pain and keep going. Your mind will scream that it can't take anymore, but it's just crying, you can do a lot more than that.
It's a training of will, a training to impose yourself over your mind.

Of course, be careful, know what you are doing and try to avoid injuries.