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iontape2pc
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Joined: 10 Aug 2014
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 3
Location: Indianapolis, IN

11 Aug 2014, 11:21 am

Hi there...

After lurking for a few years, I thought it was time to join up.

I don't know that I have the credentials necessary to join the site, as I haven't been diagnosed or anything like that. Nevertheless, here I am.

Two of my best friends, who each work in Behavioral Psychology and did internships at two different Autism Spectrum schools, have independently come to the conclusion that I am likely diagnosable as being on the spectrum. Specifically, they each see my as having a mild lean towards Asperger's Syndrome.

I recently took the Autism Spectrum Quotient test and it put me at a 38 - likely Autism. I also took the Empathy Quotient test, which put me at a 20. I have a nine year old daughter from a previous marriage that was diagnosed a while back. When I was about 8, I was considered to have ADD - Ritalin definitely helped me learn how to focus but after coming off the drug I had changed a lot - from unable to focus to inwardly focused. I never reverted.

I always test out as ISTJ on the Myers Briggs Test. My most recent scores put me at...

ISTJ
Introvert(78%) Sensing(12%) Thinking(62%) Judging(89%)

Following Gilbert's Criteria
1. Severe impairment in reciprocal social interaction (at least two of the following)
* inability to interact with peers -Yes
* lack of desire to interact with peers - Yes
* lack of appreciation of social cues - Yes
* socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior - No, I've suppressed this.
2. All-absorbing narrow interest (at least one of the following)
* exclusion of other activities - Yes, but I make my stuff wait until I've done what needs to be done.
* repetitive adherence - Yes. Excellence is a habit.
* more rote than meaning - Yes. Fake it until you make it.
3. Imposition of routines and interests (at least one of the following)
* on self, in aspects of life - Yes. Certain things need to be done.
* on others - No. I try not to affect anyone else's life.
4. Speech and language problems (at least three of the following)
* delayed development - No,.
* superficially perfect expressive language - Yes, I'm still made fun of for the occasional word out of a thesaurus.
* formal, pedantic language - At times, overly polite.
* odd prosody, peculiar voice characteristics - Occasional stuttering.
* impairment of comprehension including misinterpretations of literal/implied meanings - I'm very literal, but I see the humor in it now.
5. Non-verbal communication problems (at least one of the following)
* limited use of gestures - Yes.
* clumsy/gauche body language - Yes
* limited facial expression - Yes. "What's wrong?"
* inappropriate expression - No.
* peculiar, stiff gaze - No.
6. Motor clumsiness: poor performance on neurodevelopmental examination - Yes.

So there. Here I am.

I finally joined because I feel like I should talk about myself more often but when I talk about myself to those who are actually in my life it just makes me feel gross. Any expression of a negative emotion makes me feel like I'm trying to force a guilt trip on those around me, and I always seem to pick the wrong time to try to talk about my feelings.

The first time I came to this site was around the time that my nine-year old was born. I was at a very bad place in my life with that marriage and I had been dealing with anger issues for a long time. I would get so angry at myself and the outside world that I would break things and sometimes hurt myself - never anyone else. I realized that wouldn't fly as a father and I started looking around. I read an article here about anger control - basically, to blow up the small things into huge things in my head and notice just how much control I had over whether or not I let things take control - and it made a lot of sense to me. Since then I have gotten a whole lot better at controlling this side of myself... Perhaps, to the other extreme.

I finally joined because I feel like I should talk about myself more often but when I talk about myself to those who are actually in my life it just makes me feel gross. I just get whiny and desperate and low. Any expression of a negative emotion makes me feel like I'm trying to force a guilt trip on those around me, and I always seem to pick the wrong time to try to talk about my feelings... And expressing my feelings never seems to change anything or make me feel any better - it just makes me feel like I've exhausted all possible avenues and I feel hopeless.

If anyone is interested in anything I've said, let me know and I can elaborate on myself.



AnonymousAnonymous
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11 Aug 2014, 2:37 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


iontape2pc
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Joined: 10 Aug 2014
Age: 44
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Location: Indianapolis, IN

11 Aug 2014, 5:00 pm

Thanks for the warm welcome.



kraftiekortie
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11 Aug 2014, 5:47 pm

Are you involved in psychology yourself?



iontape2pc
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Joined: 10 Aug 2014
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11 Aug 2014, 6:18 pm

No I'm not... Why do you ask?



kraftiekortie
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11 Aug 2014, 8:18 pm

Because your friends are psychologists.