The UCSB shooter--an Aspie with a rant against women

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sly279
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10 Aug 2014, 12:20 pm

hurtloam wrote:
sly279 wrote:
not true, you can find two guys who are handsome, kind, funny and sweet and vary similar. this is cause there are billions of people odds are you will have people who can be very similar. lot of the guys at my walmart look very similar..


Yeah, they look similar, but they are individuals with their own personalities. I may find one easier to get along with than the other. I've never in my life met two men who are exactly the same, nor two exactly similar women.

If the flicking through pages of would like to meet ads is getting you down I would advise avoiding it for a while and focus on something that makes you happy instead. Take a vacation from looking for love, if only for your own sanity. You can go back to looking later when you are feeling a bit better in yourself.

Look after yourself.


i've meet guys who have a very similar personality to me. shy, funny, sweet, etc. the point I was trying to make is if the two were hypothetical identical then the choice would come down to their possessions. there are women who will choose the guy with the stuff over the guy with better personality, then few weeks later end up leaving the guy. is it all women no, but they are out there. if one bases their decision off who will be a better financial match(seems to be important, i don't remember the list in dating ads 10 years ago. perhaps its a response to the recession?) then it is logical to pick the guy with a job, car, home who is unlikely to mooch of them(seen pleanty of guys with money who still mooch) i don't know if there are single women left that will date a hobo, but if there is they aren't on dating sites. not that I am a real hobo, but i guess they see me as one and a mooch :(

I don't do it as much, I have ran out of women to look at or possible message on okc or pof. AS I hid all the thin/attractive ones, ones who have kids, and ones who list the job/car/home or have life together, have ambition. well not all if i hid all the thin/attractive ones there wouldn't be but 3 left. I check cl cause sometimes a nice woman pops up and in the past I didn't notice until 2weeks to a month later and it was too late. even still of the ones who don't care which is few. i then have 8/10 odds she won't match up with me. I am doing voc rehab to find a job. so aside from that I have nothing to do but sit in my room all the time. I get loney at night and go look. already sad at that point.

having/making friends becomes unimportant to most nts after age 18. they are so busy with work they never hang out with people. I suppose if I had a full time job I woldnt either, though I still need it so I would make time, but with who :(
also I have aspie and adhd, so i obesse over stuff and have low patience(despite what women on okc have said o.O) so when its not occupied by videogames/youtube/tv it I go to feeling lonely and depressed. well on minecraft i feel lonely too as no one will play with me or build near me. even on a game people don't like me.



sly279
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10 Aug 2014, 12:21 pm

i hope i don't get compared to the shooter, my rant is with society not really women. i have seen pleanty of guys who follow society too and it also applies to friendships. people don't hang with poor friends.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Aug 2014, 12:24 pm

Jono wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
And I think it's the unusual woman who's seriously looking for someone who's talented. Talent is a major pain in the ass. Talented people who're using what they've got are generally unbelievably selfcentered and busy with their work.


Well that would count me out then. Anyone who ends up with me would have to understand that physics is part of my life, if I get through my doctorate, that is.


Tarantella is being silly in this post tbh, talent is a very desired trait.



Eureka13
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10 Aug 2014, 1:42 pm

Perhaps some of you are confusing talent with competence. I don't know any women who would choose someone incompetent over someone who was competent (although, who knows? - there might be some women who would appreciate incompetence. It really does take all kinds.). Talent is usually innate - such as artistic talent or exceptional mathematical talent - either you've got it or you don't. Competence is learned, and it is an attractive trait in either men or women. Talent often goes along with a tempestuous temperament, and no, that's not something I find attractive at all.



tarantella64
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10 Aug 2014, 2:01 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jono wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
And I think it's the unusual woman who's seriously looking for someone who's talented. Talent is a major pain in the ass. Talented people who're using what they've got are generally unbelievably selfcentered and busy with their work.


Well that would count me out then. Anyone who ends up with me would have to understand that physics is part of my life, if I get through my doctorate, that is.


Tarantella is being silly in this post tbh, talent is a very desired trait.


Only if you don't know what it is. You don't get the guy or girl to yourself, the talent and its demands are always in the bed with you and making you sit backseat in the car. And you don't argue, because if the person has a serious talent, who are you to stand in the way? But it's not fun, no.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Aug 2014, 2:11 pm

tarantella64 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jono wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
And I think it's the unusual woman who's seriously looking for someone who's talented. Talent is a major pain in the ass. Talented people who're using what they've got are generally unbelievably selfcentered and busy with their work.


Well that would count me out then. Anyone who ends up with me would have to understand that physics is part of my life, if I get through my doctorate, that is.


Tarantella is being silly in this post tbh, talent is a very desired trait.


Only if you don't know what it is. You don't get the guy or girl to yourself, the talent and its demands are always in the bed with you and making you sit backseat in the car. And you don't argue, because if the person has a serious talent, who are you to stand in the way? But it's not fun, no.


To be honest, I always had the impression that you are pretentious like this.

But seriously, I knew plenty people who are talented and humble.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Aug 2014, 2:14 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
Perhaps some of you are confusing talent with competence. I don't know any women who would choose someone incompetent over someone who was competent (although, who knows? - there might be some women who would appreciate incompetence. It really does take all kinds.). Talent is usually innate - such as artistic talent or exceptional mathematical talent - either you've got it or you don't. Competence is learned, and it is an attractive trait in either men or women. Talent often goes along with a tempestuous temperament, and no, that's not something I find attractive at all.


No no Eureka, we are not ret*ds in English, we know very well the difference between Talent and competence.

And you're being quite stereotypical here.



tarantella64
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10 Aug 2014, 5:10 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jono wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
And I think it's the unusual woman who's seriously looking for someone who's talented. Talent is a major pain in the ass. Talented people who're using what they've got are generally unbelievably selfcentered and busy with their work.


Well that would count me out then. Anyone who ends up with me would have to understand that physics is part of my life, if I get through my doctorate, that is.


Tarantella is being silly in this post tbh, talent is a very desired trait.


Only if you don't know what it is. You don't get the guy or girl to yourself, the talent and its demands are always in the bed with you and making you sit backseat in the car. And you don't argue, because if the person has a serious talent, who are you to stand in the way? But it's not fun, no.


To be honest, I always had the impression that you are pretentious like this.

But seriously, I knew plenty people who are talented and humble.


Come back and talk after you've been in a relationship with someone who has a significant talent and works it.



0_equals_true
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10 Aug 2014, 5:26 pm

Such a shooter is an example of someone with extreme resentment but limited intelligence, and deductive capacity when it comes to their situation.

9/10 your situation is not someone else's fault.



Marcia
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10 Aug 2014, 5:30 pm

There are plenty of people who are talented in some way or another, and who have good relationships. It's not so much the talent which can be the problem, surely, so much as the drivenness or narrow pursuit of a given aim to the exclusion of everything, and everyone, else.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Aug 2014, 2:11 am

Marcia wrote:
There are plenty of people who are talented in some way or another, and who have good relationships. It's not so much the talent which can be the problem, surely, so much as the drivenness or narrow pursuit of a given aim to the exclusion of everything, and everyone, else.



There are no few of aspies here who are very talented (music, science...) yet are extremely humble and usually have low self esteem.

It's probably fame and wealth that may go to the head and tarantella probably went for that type of talented people.



Eureka13
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11 Aug 2014, 7:24 am

Marcia wrote:
There are plenty of people who are talented in some way or another, and who have good relationships. It's not so much the talent which can be the problem, surely, so much as the drivenness or narrow pursuit of a given aim to the exclusion of everything, and everyone, else.


Exactly. And the people with that kind of drive can be very difficult to live with. (Actually, the same could be said about those who are driven to amass wealth which is, I suppose, itself a type of talent.)



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11 Aug 2014, 7:44 am

I would admire a talented individual. I would admire a competent individual.

Frankly, I wouldn't want to be around somebody who's talented, and driven by that talent, to the exclusion of other people. What is value is AMIABILITY.

I'd rather be with somebody who is COMPETENT, say, in decorating, rather than somebody who is a talented interior decorator. I'd much rather be doing other things than going to thrift stores, or Home Depot, or something of that ilk.

I want somebody who is TALENTED at cuddling, rolling in the grass, and gentle frolicking.



sly279
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11 Aug 2014, 4:08 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
Perhaps some of you are confusing talent with competence. I don't know any women who would choose someone incompetent over someone who was competent (although, who knows? - there might be some women who would appreciate incompetence. It really does take all kinds.). Talent is usually innate - such as artistic talent or exceptional mathematical talent - either you've got it or you don't. Competence is learned, and it is an attractive trait in either men or women. Talent often goes along with a tempestuous temperament, and no, that's not something I find attractive at all.


often takes talent to be competence in something. my sister is talented in music and crafts, so was able to use that talent to become very competence in it.

I tried to play musical instruments and failed. I simple have no musical talent in which to build from. same with art and crafts. though perhaps there is something out there I just haven't found.

I have some talent in wood craft, that if built upon perhaps could have became more. I quite enjoyed making bowls. I would need the lave though and some other tools. also I need gloves as I am afraid of splinters. I wish there were community woodshops.
this may perhaps be my only talent, and It is one I can't build on. my uncle attempted to get me into other styles of woodcraft, but I have trouble remembering all the joints, perhaps a cheat sheet would have helped.


Eureka13 wrote:
Marcia wrote:
There are plenty of people who are talented in some way or another, and who have good relationships. It's not so much the talent which can be the problem, surely, so much as the drivenness or narrow pursuit of a given aim to the exclusion of everything, and everyone, else.


Exactly. And the people with that kind of drive can be very difficult to live with. (Actually, the same could be said about those who are driven to amass wealth which is, I suppose, itself a type of talent.)


isn't this called ambition? most people seem to have it now adays. I do not. I am the type of person to be happy where I am and enjoy life rather then view it as reaching the next goal then the next then the next. sadly I am the unwanted type :(



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11 Aug 2014, 4:37 pm

If you are talented and actually using the talent for your livelihood or in a serious avocation, it will eat a great deal of your time and focus. It has nothing to do with fame or wealth; in fact you will probably not be either famous or wealthy, even if you are very talented and spending your life on it. it's simply the demands of talent. If you are ignoring your talent, that's a different story.



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19 Aug 2014, 2:25 pm

it's hard to not think about Elliot Rodger but I want to remove him from my mind once and for all