were not what we could be

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this is a mildly altered version of something i posted earlier today, at somepoint i just went back to it though and it made me think:
"i feel like if i tell people or come out all strong and proud about who i am it will just f**k up how people see me and ill be alone. my fammily and some of my very close freinds know but honestly i think that like a lot of things it comes down to negitive stereotypes in the media, if i told anyone they would think i was a ret*d serial killer and id be treated like sh**, not sure if thats right, its kinda just how it is. i think if i said aspergers it would probably go better but even then people wouldent really see me as a person anymore, they would see me as a supercomputer. id be f*****g spock to them. it would pretty much destroy any chance i could have of getting laid or having freinds or maybe even more importantly, following my dream of becoming a writer. its sad but its true, i really wish that i could live in something other then shame and secracy of what i am but the truth is that theres no room in society for us if we admit to being who we are even if (like many of us are as we get older) completly normal and able to function in regular society. i think my experiance is that if i tell people what i have, even if its just a lable at this point they wont think im cool anymore. i think that some of my close freinds know and my fammily knows by default but honestly its kinda like being that gay guy in madmen or something, it definatly comes with a lot of shame. i really wish i could change that and honestly, if there was a way i could i would. i mean on some level us all being here is part of the problem, i think that if you went to a site like 4chan or youtube and said you had autism you would be harased almost automaticly and if you went to many other sites people would ask you if you were a serial killer and sh** like that, in a way a place like this is a little corner weve been forced into when i think it could be a kinda center for a bigger movement towards change."
i dont know, i guess i feel like its just not fair and that if we wanted to change how the world preceved us and we really tried to we could. i think a lot of people just think were all useless ret*ds but i know most of you dont seem to be and i feel like it could just be diffrent if we made it diffrent, i really dont know what else to say. i guess i want to here what all of you think.

Perception is a curious thing. People tend to assume the worst out of any mental condition. I don't want this condition. I want to be able to react correctly and quickly to social interaction instead of feeling frozen or wanting to explode over what I think are infractions. I do not want to hide behind a condition as an excuse to be obnoxious.

No place in society? Help us to make our own. That's what some of us are doing. And we will "wow the world,"

I also see that the perceptions of Asperger syndrome and other autistic spectrum conditions by allistic media has also alienated a lot of people on the autistic spectrum and I think that a lot of lets blame the victim for the aspiphobia and althought having Asperger syndrome is no excuse for acting like a total dickhead but that iss what a lot of allistic people are doing to excuse their ignorance or arrogance. I mean there are cases of allistic people of using someone's Asperger syndrome as an excuse to act like an ignorant twat including the dehumanising. I even have people who often think I am the second Kim Peek just because I have Asperger syndrome but mainly since my diagnosis.

A common form of aspiphobia by the thicko allistics is for him or her to ask an Asperger syndrome person whether he or she was a nonce (paedophile). This coming about because he or she would have been infuenced by aspiphobic propaganda in the newspapers especially the Daily Mail in the UK and the red tops, The Sun and Daily Mirror and these latter two papers are for the lower educated person. Actually most of the propaganda about autistic people in general especially against that of the upper end of the autistic spectrum is not really creative because the things the ignorant have accused Asperger syndrome people of out of pure hatred and prejudice is that which requires exceptional instinctive social skills development that seen in a person on the neurotypical spectrum that being the stereotypical allistic person based on logic. Dehumanising people because of having an autistic spectrum conditon means that most things that improve quality of life becomes inappropriate behaviour. like the seeing one as an appliance or an alien rather than as a human being and the refusal to be dehumanised in this way is seen by allistic people as vicious insolence. This reminds me of a programme I saw in the 1970s about racism and segregation and this is like a what a lot of issues in developmental disability have been about and the neurobigotry in this case aspiphobia is the disabling factor in Asperger syndrome and other autistic spectrum conditions on top of our sensory and social difficulties. It used to be a lot worse in the late 1960s if you were unlucky to have been an Asperger syndrome child then because there would have been a danger that one could have been sent to an institution which was more like a concentration camp but allistic people called these long stay hospitals and the some of the last inmates would have now been diagnosed as having Asperger syndrome because nothing was known about Asperger syndrome. Also back in the late 1960s and early 1970s some schools for children with severe learning disabilities had children who had been diagnosed as having Asperger syndrome later on in life or found to have been allistic as well even earlier some allistic people have been stripped of neuroprivilege and is subject to discriminatory practices normally then open to people with learning disabilities.

Now when an Asperger syndrome person is found to have been having an allistic level of intelligence and so the aspiphobia becomes a more sinister, darker form of neurobigotry to what had preceeded it and that would have been that person with a previously unknown neurological configuration or condition would have been seen by ignorant allistic people as either a pervert or a serial killer even though nearly all of them have been allistic or somewhere else on the neurotypical spectrum. If those sinister ideas from the previously mentioed propaganda is also if a person develops some social skills but not enough to pass off as allistic can people come to the wrong conclusion that people fake Asperger syndrome in order to avoid responsibility even though we are sometimes expected to take responsibility for our actions and this couples with the denial of neuroprivilege and then only if the person fakes allistic pretty well and that has an emotional strain or some other sort of tiredness that one might feel after trying to solve a differential equation without the maths skills. Also an attitude very similar to Jim crow like rules for us and another for allistic people a carrying over from state sponsored neurobigotry in the 1960s. Sorry for the long post.

I don't blame the working classes at all Just the ignorant ones who do this and I was not lashing out but explaining what it is like when people do not want to learn about neurodiversity issues or even care of the consequences of their actions and IQ per se does not come into this and I don't really care what economic class one comes from because a lot of disability and non allistic civil rights organisations often use the ideas of working class movements. I was not attacking underprivileged people just the attitudes of those that pick on people with developmental disability because there is many forms of discrimination that all people are capable of if one does not know and the idea of neurodiversity education is a start. I think that this may in the end be srted out but it will take many years like the development of the social model of disability which preceeded. Actually a lot of aspiphobia is hidden and I do not read papers due to the hate that can be put in them or ther lies which are off topic here. The other was a history of the development of differing kinds of neurobigotry over the years and the kind of people who are more likely from experience. When I mean thick I mean insensitive or ignorant rather than a low IQ. Actually there are a lot of working class intellectuals who have learned either at university or through experience. It is the ones who insult me and other aspies that I would try to correct so sorry if you thought I was being 'classist because a lot of what I described could have been discrimination based on class since my family was from a proletarian background