I'm having a parent freak out! Kid's IQ score....

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A neighbor revealed that her son, who is obviously ahead of grade level, took an IQ test and scored 150. It got me wondering what my son, who was diagnosed autistic at age 3 years, 10 months, scored. I looked up his evaluation from the Regional Center. He scored 81 on the Weschler Preschool IQ test. The tester said to use this score with caution and that it was probably not representative of his abilities. He was "reserved" in the interview. He was so reserved, in fact, that my husband and I had to have him in our laps. We couldn't leave him alone with the examiner.

So I never thought about those tests and never believed my kid was "low average." And even if he was, so what?

Well, this neighbor kid's score has gotten me unexpectedly freaked out. And I'm hating it.

I know I will get over it if my kid does really have a low IQ. The job isn't to wish for another kid. It's to parent this kid. Maybe it's good if I come to terms with a limitation now. He is six. He's in mainstream first grade with a lot of support that I have fought hard to get for him. But maybe it's good to understand that he will never take an AP class, that vocational education makes the most sense for him, etc. Why torture him with the goal of academic excellence if that's not within his scope? It was my thing as a kid, but he can be a happy person without it.

I have read that these tests are not accurate for autistic children. But even if they are, so what? It's terrible to feel disappointed in an average IQ. But I do feel that. It is probably because being an academic is so important to me. I am sorry I may not share that with my son.

I just fully believed he had a disability but no cognitive limitations. My brother was severely dyslexic and became a computer programmer and is quite successful. So I just thought of my son's issues in light of that experience. And now I am questioning that and wondering if I should adjust my expectations. Or if I should just continue to disbelieve the test. I was in denial I suppose. I've fully believed him to be very intelligent but handicapped in communication. I see now that it's more complicated. He'll never "catch up" to a kid like my neighbor.

I'm grappling with many emotions. My strategy as a parent has mostly been perusing sites like this and feeling better. I want to know what autistic adults has to say. I do a lot of therapies with my son, but on some level I just never believed he had limits. Perhaps I was in denial. It's remarkable that the score made so little impression on me two and a half years ago. But suddenly that number haunts me.

I know I will deal with it all, eventually. But has anyone gone through this?

You honestly have nothing to worry about. As long as your kid doesn't have an IQ below 70, you're golden.

Even so, IQ tests are relative, and taking them too seriously could end up hurting both you and your son. Don't fret over it. He'll be fine.

They're inaccurate. My daughter has a high Iq. But we don't know exact number, just a range. She is somewhere 140+. Psych guesses around 150. But we don't know for sure. Why? She can't make it through the whole test. Asks questions. Picks apart some of the questions. Refuses to answer. Get distracted. Hopefully maybe when she is older we can get a better number.

IQ tests done in most places are like 1950s era methodology and ...well, plainly put, its the wrong thing to do.

There's emotional, cognitive, verbal and social intelligence each with its own score. Kids may have low emotional or social or verbal intelligence but otherwise be fine cognitively. The problem with those old tests is that they are all based on the verbal and social perception of the person administering the test.

That is why kids that have high anxiety around strangers 'lock up' emotionally or verbally or socially and score low on tests that are supposedly trying to score their cognitive skills.

It could be many different reasons why kids may not be doing well in school. If you want to find out for some peace of mind you could take your child to a specialist.

My understanding is that a preschool IQ test really isn't a reliable indicator of an autistic child's intelligence.

I've been diagnosed with AS as an adult. I was seen as slow when I was in elementary school and learned to read with extra help, started to read a lot, gradually started doing very well on tests. I still confuse people, missing some figurative speech and needing a lot of time to communicate, while being able to think.

I understand your worry I think. Academic stuff was the only place I could be at home, fit in. I have a daughter who I am worried may never be able to excel in the major area I used to get through life, thinking, and it's very frightening. I want to love her no matter what, but doing well in school is the only adolescent success I was able to have and I want that for her, too.

Our children are who they are. Probably you had other things to worry about when he was first tested, and probably hitting you now because he is mainstreamed, and surrounded by more typical children. And you're surrounded by their parents, whose concerns are quite different from yours. It's quite isolating, and difficult when one's place of comfort is academic success.

But for a child with autism I don't know how much about the future you can know with certainty so early. Your child has limits. We all do. But people underestimated my academic ability.

Don't put limitations on your son's cognitive abilities based on an IQ test taken when he was 3.
That would be bad for him.
I couldn't have taken an IQ test when I was 3.
My parents always went by what I was able to do and the intelligence that I showed in learning and playing.

I used to score low on the tests and I also scored low on the verbal IQ. I am not sure what my verbal IQ be now. My mom had a psychologist test me in other areas for my IQ and it showed my overall IQ was not accurate based on the other scores I got. My parents always knew my IQ score was inaccurate.

IQ tests done on preschoolers, particularly nonverbal and/or those on the spectrum, are not very reliable. I wouldn't put stock in that particular score at this point. Because of differences in communication abilities and interpretation of test items, IQ scores, particularly verbal scores, tend to be inaccurate in children with autism, not telling the whole picture. And traditional IQ tests test something very specific, and a lot has to do with prior knowledge and ability to understand questions as they are intended (and to respond in like). They don't test other skills or "intelligences." They are just a piece of a child's abilities.

There are difficulties to be had in extremely high IQ levels as well. I would definitely NOT "come to terms with his limitations now." You don't know how accurate the score is, and even if you did, limitations are never the answer. Children can and do exceed expected "limitations" when we allow them to and expect them to. Being realistic is important, however, realistic allows for a huge range. Limitation allows for less of a range.

It's possible/likely he'll get another IQ test down the road in school, but it might be better not to even know it if you're going to want to hang your hat on it and use it to define his possibilities. Some people find IQ tests so important, and they brag about the high ones or hide the low ones, but they are really just a piece of a child's abilities, and are less accurate with extremely low or high cognitive levels, and with children on the spectrum. So knowing won't necessarily give you any answers either.

I would advise you not to obsess about the IQ score. As you wrote, the most important thing is to parent your child. And, from my perspective, do what you can to help prepare your child for adulthood.

When my eldest daughter was in elementary school, it became apparent that she was having issues with both reading comprehension and math. It was deeply unsettling to me (particularly since math was my favorite subject, and something I excelled at). She was behind grade level and falling further behind every day. We arranged to get her help. And, I also spent time with her every night, reading books out loud with her (with each of us taking turns). And, then we would discuss what we read.

Ultimately, she ended up as a very good student. But it wasn?t through raw intelligence. It was through will and determination. She wanted to get good grades. Partly, so I would be proud of her. She is now in college. It?s not easy for her. I figure she has to study twice as long as everyone else. But that?s OK. She enjoys learning.

I suppose what I am saying is the following:
#1 ? Don?t obsess over the IQ score
#2 ? Do what you can now, to enable them to do as well as they can in school
#3 ? As they get older, help guide them towards a path which they can be successful at

Based upon your post, I know you will do well. Because you care. Good luck.

Some kids are good with those kinds of tests and some are not. At my son's first IQ test, he was untestable. It was fine b/c it was clear he was smart. (It shouldn't have mattered, anyway but that is another thread) It did not predispose anyone to take resources away from him. In K and beyond he scored well, but in the end that did not matter either b/c he was ill-suited to a typical school day without supports that no one wanted to give him.

If your child is being served appropriately for who his, that is the main thing. If he is not underestimated or on the opposite end given unrealistic expectations, it does not matter. If they are not giving your child less assistance/too much scaffolding, it does not matter.

I am like you in that If left to my nerdy natural tendencies, my expectations would be different. I am still having to modify expectations sometimes for certain subjects that are harder b/c they involve too much theory of mind, like lit and the social part of social studies. As a parent, you are going to have customize your expectations no matter what particular normed number your child gets on an IQ test.

Focus on helping your son develop into the person he was made to be. You don't know what that is yet. You don't know what his interests will be, you don't know where his skill set will lie. Even kids with high IQs may not have interests that are typically related to high IQs. For example, I know many incredibly smart people who are in home construction. They like working with their hands and put their genius into that and running a business.

Do not think in terms of limitations. Think in terms of developing the skills and interests he does have, and who knows where that will lead him.

I think being realistic is understanding that his path probably won't look the same as a typically developing kid, and IMO, this iq test is an example of that. It may take longer for him to be able to be accurately tested by these tools, if ever, so that means you need to pay extra close attention to HIM to see what he can do, and not to these tests. In this case, being realistic doesn't mean that you have to believe that he is massively limited, rather it!s understanding that because you have an ASD child, the tools that you have at your disposal are limited, and that you'll have to do a lot of the guidance yourself. So, realism and refusing to place limitations on your son do co-exist. Please try to stay positive, and keep trying to imagine the possibilities, because there are many, many ways that your son can live a happy, productive, and fulfilled life!

BuyerBeware's IQ as measured in 1998, when she was 20 and trying hard to do well on the IQ test because she hated herself and if she wasn't smart then she had absolutely nothing to live for: ~90

BuyerBeware's IQ as measured in 2011, when she was 33 and fresh out of the looney bin and no longer gave a crap how smart she was, because she already knew she was stupid and just wanted to have fun with the neuropsych testing before getting down to the business of discussing whether a person with Asperger's had any right to live or to expect to be treated with human dignity: 140+.

How much BuyerBeware's intelligence actually changed in 13 years: negligible.

How much stock BuyerBeware thinks you should put in intelligence testing: also negligible.

You should not put limitations on your child because he is autistic, or as someone said earlier, "you have an ASD child".
That would be bad for him too, like putting limitations on him due to IQ measured when he was 3.
Each person has limitations in certain areas, but thinking of them as being limited in general because of ASD or IQ~80 at age 3 is wrong.
Regarding the child with IQ~150, most people will not catch up to that child, but only if that child goes after his own potential.
If not, then he will be left behind to have a high childhood IQ score and that's all.

A lot of this really gets down to how one defines success, and we need to be really careful to not define it in terms of status, "achievement" money, or things.

I put "achievement" in quotes because it is a joke. What one considers a great accomplishment, another thinks is worthless.

I recently read a wonderful book called Schulyer's Monster, and the posts on her father's blog in the years since the book ended. It's about a little girl who has a neurological disorder called Polymicrogyria. Basically about 75% of her brain didn't fold properly, and as a result she could not move her mouth muscles well enough to speak or her fine motor skills well enough to sign well and be understood. She had very little expressive language until her parents were able to get her an AAC communication device at age 5.

The disorder also results in learning difficulties. Schulyer's parents refused to allow her IQ to be tested until age 14, in part because of the possibility that she would end up very close on either side of that "mentally disabled" line of 70. Her father talks about "over-believing", and it was this over-belief that enabled them to push for a full-featured AAC when the school authorities said she'd never need more than one with 14 words.

You can read an essay that she wrote here: http://bridgingapps.org/2014/08/schuylers-success-story/ The only help her father gave (at her request) was spelling and capitalization. If her parents had accepted an IQ test and the lowered expectations that everyone would have put on her as a result, I doubt she would be able to write so well today.

She was in mainstream education in upper elementary and middle school, but is now in special ed classes for high school. I think the approach her parents have taken is a good one -- during the early years, assume there is no limit to what the child can learn with the right help, then in high school or near adulthood, realistically assess where she is at and make plans from there.