Odd breakup. Now helping to provide emotional support.

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My now ex boyfriend and I had been dating for a little over 5 months. A couple Saturdays ago he broke up with me stating that he felt that I needed someone more at my level financially and emotionally. He felt too crazy in the head and didn't want me to have to deal with that. (Possibly on the spectrum.)

We had been living together for about 2 months. A week later he came home blackout drunk falling all over and had to be babysat. I confronted him the next morning and one of the things he mentions was that he had considered checking himself into a mental health care facility and his only objection was he didn't want to take out his tongue ring. I told him that was silly and if he really wanted to get help that should not be a reason to not seek it. I came home later that night after work to him bawling his eyes on to a friend on the phone. When I asked him what was wrong he told me he needed to check himself in and that I needn't worry as he decided to do so while sober. I told him when do you want to go. We went the next day after I bought him a plastic tongue ring. He has placed me as his primary emergency contact. He told me as we were waiting that he didn't know how he would have come to this decision without me. It is apparent that he still loves me as indicated by visiting him last night. He has asked I visit everyday and considering how he never has had supports or stability most of his life I feel like it is a necessity to be there even if we don't end up together. I know in my heart that I cannot move on without knowing that he will be OK. (Suicidal thoughts for a good period of his life now.)

I guess I am just asking for some advice and some emotional support myself. I do love him. But ultimately I am on with moving on. I just don't feel like I should yet. His sister said he broke up with me because he feels unworthy to be with me. I know it may be a slim chance of rekindling however I know how I felt when I was younger and in a very similar situation. It hard watching someone you love struggle with such similar problems. It's like watching yourself suffer but this time I'm not about to do much other than provide a stable support for him. His treatment is entirely up to him and we conveyed this to him last night. He has a very low self esteem from a failed relationship that included a miscarriage and had a family who lived as hippies moving from town to town often homeless as he was growing up so he never got a chance to have routine or stability in his childhood.

I guess any advice on this situation. How can I help him while he is dealing with discovering himself?

Any advice for myself?

Just keep being there, I think. It was probably for the best that he broke up with you, not because he's unworthy but because he's not at a point in his life where he can have a healthy relationship. When he gets to that point, you guys could even get together again if you haven't already moved on. But I think you've been doing really well so far, trying to be stable for him and help with his mental issues without getting OVERLY wrapped up in the situation (which is what could have happened if you guys were still in a relationship). I hope things go well for you two.

My situation is similar to yours, so hope the following helps:

I started dating another WP member near me and it broke up for various reasons; she still has some issues that need help and since we were eventually talking again I have been helping her as best I can. She's 11 years younger than me and about the same amount behind me in terms of diagnosis, recovery and so on.

More recently, we been thinking what went wrong and skirted around trying again. In the meantime today I drove halfway across Norfolk to help her get a stray cat that had adopted her to a vet to see if it was chipped. (He was registered at a vet near me, oddly enough, it's incredible how far cats can turn up from their home). We have another outing planned in a couple weeks time. I'm not sure if we are considering it a date and I refer to her as my "it's complicated" rather than (just) "friend" or "girlfriend". I am not certain if either of us knows exactly what kind of friends we are right now.

But I didn't abandon her in her hour of need after the relationship ended and if you still love/respect this guy on some level, perhaps you are doing the right thing by not moving on just yet.