Do you attract lots of haters?

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Has anyone else found that they seem to come across an unusually high number of haters? These can be family members, co-workers, even total strangers who seem to take one look at you and not like you? I have been a magnet for these types of people since childhood and it is likely the first thing that made me realize I was "different'. It still happens to me somewhat, constant rejection. Even when I copy NTs and try to do was is socially acceptable and considered nice, I am still scorned by people. I don't even understand that kind of thinking, how you can just look at a stranger who has never done anything to offend you and decide to not like them, but there are apparently many people that adhere to this philosophy. Anyone else noticed this phenomenon?

Problems with your body language can easily lead to this. You could try asking people (although if it's body language, they probably won't be able to tell you).

the OP should know that he is far from alone. when I was in the army I seemed to attract the nastiest sorts, as supervisors and coworkers. these people would talk "in front of my back" IOW would heap calumny upon me in my presence as though I wasn't even there, totally dehumanizing and invalidating.

No, actually the opposite, most people like me pretty quickly upon meeting me, to the point that my current coworkers have actually commented upon it. Counter-intuitively, this isn't always helpful, as it's made convincing people of the very real social issues I have as a result of the AS very difficult, and has even made it hard to get constructive work done with therapists, as they'll just talk to me and get sidetracked. I know, total first world problem, but real nonetheless. I definitely get it from my dad, he was a lifelong salesman that sold everything from waterless cookware to cigarettes to LPs and could sell ice cubes to Eskimos, which is an unusual combinations with my mother's side of the family, where everyone is introverted and eccentric with tortured personal lives. THAT side of the family comes out more here, where as IRL my personal charm is more in evidence.

Yes. That?s pretty much how my life has been since my childhood. Even now things haven?t changed. Naturally I?ve been pretty friendless all my life and I have become very wary, cynical and bitter. I used to wonder if I was a truly bad human being to be hated by so many people. I used to feel very lonely. I have developed a fear of people and it even prevented me from having a decent career because wherever I go so many people are willing to attack/bully me.

Now I know that I?m not a bad human being at all. If anything, I?m a good human being. I was just a victim of bullying. Realizing that I have autism and I?m not a bad human being has helped me a lot with self-esteem. I even enjoy spending the whole weekend by myself because now I know I?m not a worthless human being.

I?ve been thinking about it. I roughly classified people into categories. The reality is probably not this simple but I just wanted to try to understand why people have to ?adhere to? that ?philosophy? (to borrow the OP?s expression). Note that I don?t necessarily expect other people to agree with my classification but that?s how I explain to myself why many people have to be so hateful.

1. Those that probably know that you mean well but will bully you any way because you are different and look insecure. They are bullies and evil.
2. Those that misinterpret/cannot understand you because you are different. They just project their own mentality onto you and interpret you negatively, which means that they have something bad inside.
3. Those that can see that you mean well but would rather follow the majority.
4. Those that cannot really understand you and decide to follow the majority.

5. Those that cannot understand you but are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
6. Those that can see you are different but know you mean well and appreciate you.
7. Those that don?t see you are different.

Basically being different/insecure is a good enough reason for disliking you for most people. Those that are in categories 1 ? 4 are not worth knowing. I just disregard them. Those in 5 ? 7 are the people that are worth getting to know. Unfortunately there are very few of them.

Sorry for the long post.

^ jk1 (copied and pasted that into my journal.)
Yes, it has happened to me most of my life. It is odd because for a few minutes t a time I can converse and rarely do people pick up on my difficulties. But, in time, it falls all to pieces as my social deficits are uncovered.
Edited to remove example of bullying.
It's more peaceful and safer for me to simply be alone.

Oh yeah, always been an a-hole magnet. Sometimes even when crossing the street (getting yelled at by strangers after 3 seconds of contact -- people are such unthinking monkeys (not to disparage monkeys)).

There was a TV show called Alphas where in one episode there was a guy who gave off inaudible sound waves that made people around him feel uneasy and ill. So, people always hated him without even knowing why. I related to that idea a lot.

Nowadays, I live like a hermit, which helps. Misantrhopy is me.

Wasnt it people becoming enraged? There was a few very similar cases in Alphas

Im liked alot initially. People really take to me. Then they tend to go off me inexplicably. Lots of short term relationships is the only solution ive found.

Mostly people ignore me but on occasion I get people who think I like them when I very much dislike them..
I can't tell the difference between people who are just not interested in me or really dislike/hate me.

not really, actually, at least i don;t think. i mostly blend into my surroundings and hardly is my presence noticed, both physically and otherwise. the latter has caused a lot of problems with a certain peer that i would like to get to know better, who will always claim that i scared her or did not notice my presence when i came up to her to chat. and i've seen others take my exact approach and she does not seem fazed in the slightest bit.

anyway, while i may not attract many blatant haters there have been a couple. i think i have brought these upon myself with my outbursts and annoyances and constantly butting in, trying to interact with them, but i'm over that kind of stuff now and i don't bother if i even suspect they may be less than willing to interact. many of these i have gotten over, and i don't talk to or have seen in a very long while.

there's also those who are attracted to me, sensing that i am "inferior" and that i need some sort of "protection" and who may defend me in a belittling, almost patronizing way when i am attacked but ignore me otherwise.
most of those who act this way seem to sense something about me and may believe themselves to me some sort of...martyr, when i could really use a real friendship where we are equal and i'm not some sort of pathetic being that cannot fend for himself.

as for body language, i mostly walk by myself, i have my head rather stooped and i like to put my legs on things when i'm sitting.

Generally I?ve found an ?unusually high number of haters? amongst women in my age group. It?s been that way for as long as I can remember, female cousins were the worst.

Hi just joined so please be patient as I come up to speed.
Re. hater: yes I have attracted haters all my life and it has not ended in old age. I'm now in the midst of obtaining federal agency assistance for group harassment at my home..by local community leaders to boot! I approached many agencies over the years and not one of them helped me. This lasted more than 6 years!
Fortunately I am very logical and good at noticing details others miss and at figuring things out. I have been forced to be my own advocate. When my rights have been breached I do not allow others to dissuade me from correcting the situation.

I was gaslighted (if you don't know what this is look it up...you don't want this to happen to you) which made it even more difficult to obtain help since this situation makes it so no one believes the victim. Very very hard to deal with this when one is an Aspie. It is a malicious form of hate.

You may be surprised, but the hate and rage I experience most often is directed toward me by health care workers..not all, mind you, but definitely from those professionals who don't know how to work as team members with an aspergers patient. Specifically, doctors with inflated egos, those who are not current in their field, those who can not admit what they don't know and those who can not believe I have a creative intelligent brain. I read current research and delve more deeply into selected research topics so interacting with me is probably very different than interacting with NTs. I think doctors feel more comfortable with the familiar NT/MD relationships while I expect an interaction more similar to that of peers.
Any one else have this problem?

I have found there are haters and detractors.

Haters can be the most evil and vicious. Detractors usually are minions of haters.

Most of the above are in the workplace. They all have their own agenda. An NT spouse can become a hater.

As I have got older I have done well at emulating NT behavior but the real self can sometimes show sort of like a guy with an accent in a foreign land.

As a professional with a graduate degree I have done well but have had some firings. I have found two unfavorable non controllable events along with an unfavorable management change = a firing. Two jobs went ten years, two others barely made it three years. Contract work had certain advantages.

You have done very well.
I lasted 7 or 8 years at a couple of places but when there is any type of downsizing it was always me. And when that happen it took much longer to get a job even in great economic times. Have not had anything to speak of the last 10 years. As got older it is not that I lost faking NT abilities, it is that a lot more NT abilities are required

Nope I like to fly under the radar and be the bloke that barely gets noticed.

At Work: I take a no-nonsense, results-oriented attitude in my work. This does not go over well with the suck-ups, whose attitude seems to be, "I'm a nice guy, so results don't matter". These people will often try to take credit for my ideas and the work I do, as if by their very presence, they can somehow influence the outcome in a positive way. I usually wait for a moment of maximum effect, and then reveal to their bosses and peers exactly how little input they've given, resulting in their hatred being directed toward me (that fat guy in the network department will soon have HIS day ... ).

At Church: They don't seem to appreciated that if there is a dispute over doctrine, I say "Let's go to the Bible and see what it says on this". They would rather make up their own rules (for their own benefit, of course), so when confronted with a Biblical rule against it, they have to choose between denying the validity of the Bible and backing down from the argument (another win-win situation for me ... ).

In the Neighborhood: I am "That Guy" - the one who calls the cops when parties get too loud, when stray dogs run loose, when people block my driveway, when strangers start hanging around, when kids without helmets ride their motor-scooters up and down the street, et cetera. Publicly, most of my neighbors ignore me; but privately, they will thank me for trying to keep the neighborhood quiet, safe and peaceful.