Incomprehensible? Yes
Bizzare? Not much more than general white lies and hints people tend to rely on in common place interaction.
I think it's like roleplaying to assess a person and their adaptability to suit your needs and interests but I'm not sure.
I think I can tell when people are bad at flirting, because it's more obvious and painful to endure, but decent flirting is so subtle I don't notice it. Or if I'm told it's happened/happening I don't really believe it is. I assume it's a person being friendly.
If a person asks tells me I'm attractive I can assume from that point on their flirting. If they approach me as a stranger and show an interest in knowing me, then see me again another day and remember me and are the same, I assume there may be some kind of flirting happening.
I can't really pick out certain behaviours or patterns. But by the time they ask if I have a boyfriend I can safely assume they were flirting rather than trying to be my friend.
I find most communication with hints and social cues to be like another language...
crystalc1973 wrote:
Sometimes we don't like what we don't understand and when I think I see others flirting I often tend to view them as highly sexed and "only after one thing". The worse situation for me is when I think other women are flirting with my husband, or they may mistake his natural outgoing friendliness as being interested in them. Does anyone else find this particular aspect of human communication difficult to understand and practice?
I believe all flirting is for 'one thing'. I maintain this. My ex used to get upset when I felt his affection was all for 'one thing' but till the very end he only showed me I was correct in thinking that way. He essentially said 'I guess I do use affection to lead up to that one thing, but I'm entitled to get angry when you suggest that's all I'm after' which to me doesn't quite make sense...
I think Im attractive but I dont know how to flirt. And I often find myself wondering if someone is flirting but then concluding they can't be even if it seems like what would be flirting in a film. I don't know why, maybe its low self esteem. It's not like I feel like I'm unattractive though as I said. I just guess its safer to assume they're not than mistakenly assume they are?
Social grooming is a new one to me. I wonder if that's done outside of business settings.