Any other Aspie asexuals out there?

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Are you an Aspie and asexual?
Yes 54%  54%  [ 13 ]
No 46%  46%  [ 11 ]
Total votes : 24

Nick774
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30 Sep 2014, 1:50 am

Just feeling lonely and wanting to know if there's even someone out there I can be compatible with.


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SuperInferior
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30 Sep 2014, 8:42 am

Slow to getting responses but there are definitely those of us out there, I know at least 3 autistic aspies myself.
While the autisic community isn't horrible asexual, a LOT of asexuals are autistic, way more than the average sexual population. And it's not explained by a low sample size, we just have a higher statistic of autistics in our community. =]

Makes me feel like I could have a better chance of finding someone tbh.

Tried my first sexual relationship recently and I have to say as much as this person insisted they understood autism and asexuality, it didn't make much of a difference in how under pressure I felt and how impatient they got. =/

Best of luck to finding more of us out there.
=] Shame all the asexual and autistic dating websites alike are so poor!


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michiro
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07 Oct 2014, 2:57 am

I'm going to call myself asexual, because I tried every combination of sex at my hands. I think it should be a requirement for asexuality that each man and woman try gay and straight sex before they can call asexuality. I have tried both and they did not work. I will say I had more fun with men than women, but I still call myself asexual, because I could not get off with either.

There is the pleasures of getting off with someone, it just didn't happen with me, at least in waking hours. My only sexual experience was with a man twice my age it as corrupted by his needs. I was able to get off with him once, but I was not awake for it though. I guess with age comes an eager greed for younger men. The only advice I can give is not to date outside your age group.



hurtloam
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07 Oct 2014, 4:50 pm

@michiro What if a person has no interest in sex? Why should they make themselves try something that they don't really want to do just so that they can wear a label?

I've got to a point where I am happy accepting who I am. I still have family who are overly curious about why I am not making much of an effort to find a man, but although I am attracted to men, I feel like I don't need a relationship. I think I am demisexual. I can be emotionally attracted to a man, but not really want a physical realtionship with him. I just totally love his personality and sometimes it can be in an odd situation like with a friend older than me. It still hurts when I am rejected, I do have feelings, but I don't really care that much about whether they find me sexually attractive, I just want them to want to be around me and talk to me as much as I want to talk to them. I have no idea if this would ever turn into a sexual relationship, but no one has the time to waste on getting to know me long enough, for the time it takes to find out.

I wish I could be totally honest upfront with men and say, "I want to spend more time with you because I like talking to you and I enjoy your company, but that doesn't mean I'm trying to lure you into a long term exclusive sexual relationship, so don't run away. I just want to spend time with you and we can see where it goes." Chances are I'd get emotionally attached and then get hurt when he goes off with another woman to have a sexual relationship and doesn't want to spend time with me anymore. I've had that happen at least once before. I'm not really sure why me and the man can't stay friends the same as before. Maybe these men do fancy me and feel like it would be unfair to their partner to have a close female friend. I don't know.

Being human is confusing.



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07 Oct 2014, 5:44 pm

Pretty much.

Though I'll still get it on with someone I love (zero interest otherwise).

So, whatever that is.



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07 Oct 2014, 6:34 pm

Quote:
whatever that is.


Demisexual, I believe.


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andrethemoogle
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07 Oct 2014, 8:12 pm

I'm attracted to females but literally have no interest in any of that relationship type stuff.

I literally do not watch adult films or look at pictures, don't think about it and don't do any of the stuff males usually do on a daily basis.



Alevai
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08 Oct 2014, 10:26 am

Nick774 wrote:
Just feeling lonely and wanting to know if there's even someone out there I can be compatible with.


I know the feeling nick. I've been through a difficult sexual relationship 2 years ago that was so aweful and abusive that it had me swear off sex ever since. I'm still not looking or interseted in it.

But I do miss the romance... I miss the petting and hugging, and having someone to sleep with at night. If I could find a woman I could do all those things with minus the sex.. I would be set :)



Sorenzo
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02 Nov 2014, 11:10 am

I'm sort of borderline asexual. I'd love to find an asexual girlfriend. Just... For the record... In case anyone's out there. ;)

Seriously, though, I don't think I'll feel complete unless I find a partner. I very rarely have the urge to have sex with another person. I'm sort of worried about dating regular women because I might have to have more sex than I actually would enjoy, and she'd probably feel like it was her fault, and much drama all around. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I do think women, and men, are on a certain spectrum when it comes to the intensity of sexual desire, and that you just have to find someone in the right ballpark, not someone who matches you exactly.

Either way, newbie advice, it's important to be open about it. If you're in a relationship and one of you don't wanna have sex as often as the other, it's pretty deadly to a relationship if the person with more of a sexual desire doesn't understand why the other person isn't like that. They'll assume you're cheating or that you're losing interest in them. Don't try to cover it up if you're asexual.


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nick007
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02 Nov 2014, 1:38 pm

I'm sort of on the asexuality spectrum. I don't get sexual attraction & I like sex OK but I'm fine without it.


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danothan24
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02 Nov 2014, 2:41 pm

I'm sort of on the asexual spectrum...for me, affection is infinitely more important than sex. I also don't really get attracted to most people on first glance, but once I start to like someone on a personal level they get a lot more attractive to me. Even then...idk, I get more sexual urges sometimes, but more often than not all I really want is just someone to snuggle up with and watch tv. I think more of the sex stuff comes from just getting bombarded with it 24/7. I'd be interested to see how I felt about everything if I could just completely unplug from society and the never-ending media stream for a couple weeks.


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20 Nov 2014, 3:45 pm

Indeed.


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