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Moromillas
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23 Sep 2014, 1:56 am

And when does that ever work. What happened to the OP and others is accurate, as it's the same as always.

The worst thing you can do around a cop isn't breaking the law, it's disrespecting a cop, and their response is always to go in with overwhelming force, it happens all the time. To them, there's no difference between that and a meltdown, there's no training to differentiate.



L_Holmes
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25 Sep 2014, 8:48 pm

Moromillas,

I'm not defending the people who do things like this, but I am wondering why you are so adamant about denying OliveOilMom's suggestions. All she is saying is that in her experience, calmly explaining oneself after the fact can help to resolve the issue. She isn't trying to justify the poor actions of others, nor is she saying that the victim is to blame for not explaining themselves clearly; she is trying to be helpful to the OP and others who may encounter a similar experience in the future, and it seems that you are trying to tell everyone that nothing will work with NTs and especially cops, because they refuse to listen and this story proves it; that is both a hasty generalization, and a pretty unhelpful way of looking at it. I think her suggestion is perfectly valid. I'm not saying it would always work, but I also seriously doubt it would never work in any situation.


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Moromillas
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27 Sep 2014, 2:05 am

It's naive, sorry to say. Yes, and I'm saying it's very unlikely to work.

Not really a generalisation. For example, count the number of times that you've successfully explained AS to an NT, on one hand -- That's how probable it is to work.



L_Holmes
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28 Sep 2014, 4:35 am

It is unlikely to be totally successful very often, but it also depends on the situation and how you go about doing it. Obviously trying to get them to fully understand what a meltdown is will be unsuccessful with almost any NT, if not all of them, because they won't get it. But you don't have to do that, nor should you try. Explaining it in more general terms, like saying it is an anxiety attack, would be more effective, as many NTs know (or at least have a general idea of) what that is and would be more understanding.

In an ideal world they would be able to understand, and they wouldn't make unfair assumptions about people, but since that isn't the case the best thing to do is just try to explain it in a way that they will be able to understand, by attributing it to stress or anxiety like OliveOilMom suggested. Of course it isn't guaranteed to work, but it's better than trying to make them understand it fully, or getting angry at them for being wrong (even if they are) because they simply won't listen to that. I mean, what else can you do in that situation? Do you have a better idea?


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Moromillas
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29 Sep 2014, 11:01 pm

To the cops? You say nothing. Everything that you say the cops, they take as ammunition, even if it's irrelevant, they take it and find a way to use to their advantage. They're not there to protect you, they're there to enforce law, doesn't matter if people are hurt in the process, if they send someone to the funny farm they put a notch on their belt for that, they get more money and higher station for putting people away, innocent or guilty doesn't factor in. So you say, nothing, whatever you say they'll find a way to use it against you.

There are no ideal solutions. I know that walking on egg shells or carefully explaining using choice words for NTs so as to get the right response neither works or is an acceptable solution.



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30 Sep 2014, 1:20 am

Well I can see what you're saying as far as the cops go, it's better to just cooperate with them than try to get them to listen because it could very well cause more problems. But when having a meltdown in a public setting, I don't really see the harm in attempting to explain it to others who are not with law enforcement, especially if the meltdown significantly disturbed the peace, as they might be considering calling the cops. It's possible that if you explained yourself after calming down that they'd see you were now behaving reasonably, and refrain from calling the police in the first place.

Again, it's not going to work in every situation, but my point is basically that no situation is exactly the same, so some things may help in one whereas they are likely to augment the problem in another. I think it really comes down to just judging individual situations. If a cop has decided someone is a problem it is unlikely he will go back on that, and an attempt at explanation will probably be seen as resisting, so that would be bad. But if it hasn't escalated to that point, or better yet if a cop isn't even involved yet, I think it is possible to reason with others. The individual with autism shouldn't have to walk on eggshells, yes, but sometimes it's better to just do it for the sake of quelling the situation. Of course, it's a possible option to just leave the setting, which would probably be the better route. But since it's not always possible, I think it's good to have alternate solutions/explanations in mind in case a situation arises.


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DW_a_mom
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30 Sep 2014, 6:25 pm

There is a printed card people can carry around that explains autistic meltdowns and what is needed from the people that may witnesses it (ie SPACE). Anyone who is prone to meltdowns in public should carry a supply and pass them around when a meltdown happens.


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Moromillas
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01 Oct 2014, 8:33 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
There is a printed card people can carry around that explains autistic meltdowns and what is needed from the people that may witnesses it (ie SPACE). Anyone who is prone to meltdowns in public should carry a supply and pass them around when a meltdown happens.


I don't see many people doing this, to add further embarrassment and stress to an already stressful situation, by having to hand out these cards explaining something personal to a group of people that ultimately don't want to challenge their misconceptions of the situation.

In the case of being locked up or threatened with institutionalisation by braindead authorities, I suppose it might help as a stand in for the expert themselves, if they put their name to it. Perhaps they could look up the expert, see the credentials for themselves and take the experts word to a higher standard.

Now, for NTs; how many would feel obligated to carry around on their person, expert reference that they're not a danger to the public?