If you need a car do you want to date her?

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I feel that for a lot of women on dating sites here its the status/stigma of riding the bus system. otherwise I don't see the problem. yet as i've said so many demand the man have a car in order to message them. while the bus system isn't as fast as driving its one of the best in the nation and a lot bigger and faster then it really needs to be for our size. they are even expand the whole system to be faster and more like a trolly system. so it would seem that its about status/stigma for them not practical issues. I use to ride the bus to work/school alot and it sucks cause it does ad an hour or two to getting there and thats hell for my adhd and sleep, but you can get to just about anywhere in towns on the bus.

I am completely honest. I view wording things differently as lying and find it really hard to do. the truth is i couldn't do the field i got a degree for so i'm and trying to figure out what to do. my current job is cashiering seasonally and thats what I tell people when they ask. them being the 10% who don't list the decent job/car/home as requirements. and half of the 10% will ask in the first few messages. i don't bother messaging the 90%.
i'm sure someone more ok with lying/wording things differently could make being a seasonal cashier sound like they are some kind of saint and its a good thing. but I can't. i just always thought that having any job would be better then a guy who has no job and doesn't ever want to work. yet those guys get tons of sex and short term relationships. o.O

Yeah, I don't get this marketing wit and rewarding unfortunate state.

"I am trying to find my purpose in this life after getting a drawback while I am enjoying my life to the fullest within my current capacities".

Just the f**k say you've lost your job, unemployed, and all you can do for entertaining is doing home activities because you can't afford it elsewhere.

Embellishing things won't fool anyone after one or two exchanges; don't kid yourself.

I don't think the example Stargazer43 gave was embellishing, and certainly wasn't lying. It was just saying things in a more conversational way. Like if I'm on a date and ask "so what sort of films do you like?" And I get the response "scifi and action", it may be the honest answer but it doesn't sound great. Tell me more, tell me why! Same if I ask about car, job, house...

How do I know who is seeking to get married? These threads are just about relationships. What's the difference between a relationship that lasts the rest of my life, and a marriage? Should the man have a car in one but not necessarily the other?

It's only lying/exaggerating if it's not true. If it is true, then why not say it in the best and most interesting way possible rather than sell yourself short? I liked yellowtamarin's analogy regarding movies. Similarly, it's like if you went on a vacation to Europe and someone asked about it. You could either say "I went to Europe and had fun", or you can actually describe all of the sights you saw and interesting things you did. I'd much rather be involved in the latter conversation as opposed to the former.

but in the case of a vacation or movies theres more to tell when the same isn't tru for why you don't have a job. there's no exciting back store to why one is unemployed most of the time. so what then? how do i make i suck at being a mechanic sound good?

How do you know you suck at being a mechanic? Have you been one? If so, tell her about it. It doesn't necessarily have to sound "good", in my opinion...you just have to let her in and share. If it's not good it's not good, but "I suck at being a mechanic" is going to sound a lot less interesting than talking about how you came to realise this.

It wouldn't be for her, it'd mostly be to make myself feel better at least knowing my odds are a little better.

I guess you are a voluntarily serial dater, you are not even seeking for a relationship that lasts for life, be it called marriage or something else; are you planning to have kids?

And therefore, it's normal why you won't have the same considerations of the typical LT/marriage girl.

Maybe she has issues with public transportation. I wouldn't mind dating her at all. None of my friends have cars so I'm used to doing all the driving anyway. At least it's something that I can change. It's much more painful when I'm rejected for something I can't change, like my height or personality. I'd like to be taller, funnier, handsomer, but there's not much I can do about that. Getting a car, a house and a career is easy in comparison. Also even if it doesn't work out, I get to keep a car, a house and a career!

not without telling her i have asperges which casues me to have hearing sensitivity problems, and anxiety which cause me to go quiet when another mechanic yells at me. also i'm too slow due to anxiety and just generellly not fast. yeah i worked one job and did another as a intern. I couldn't handle it. way too loud making me blink alot, everyone yells at each other all the time and takes frustrations out on each other. throwing stuff can be common too. but mainly its that i can't go fast enough or handle the sound.

i'd rather a possible match not know my difficulties or how much of a failure I am. i'd kinda like to just forget i ever tried to be a mechanic. which is why I hate talking about my degree or bumping into former classmates.

where as i would be open and tell most women would just see this as an emotional man who lacks confidence. talking about such troubles is seen as bad and drama. I don't see any way to make it sound good. you?

on the other hand I really love and feel passionate about being a cashier. but such a job isn't seen as good enough.

so now i'm trying to find a job I can enjoy but that pays as much as I can make to please them.

Getting rejected for height or looks or for simply for who you are is harsher I guess.

I have had girls travel across countries and counties to meet, date or have sex with me and they were attractive women so if they like you enough at that moment in time, the car really isn't an issue.

It is however an acceptable and easy excuse to tell you that they won't date you because you don't have a car.

A voluntary serial dater??? I am seeking a relationship that last for life, well at least, I would be very happy if it did (I just don't expect it so I'm not interested in making a formal commitment). No I'm not planning to have kids. So if all these threads are only for people who want to have kids with the next person they get into a relationship with, and if women expect their date to be in the same car/house/job situation when they are ready to have kids as they are on the first date, then okay my input is just wasted.

Exactly, women have travelled hours for me and even got on planes to meet me, if someone likes you enough, the car isn't an issue.

In any case, you could say you are saving on a car to pay to further your education or saving to invest so you can have financial freedom.

A woman whom her ultimate goal in dating is to have a family, would certainly won't have the same expectations, concerns and mindset of a woman who dates for a non-commitmental relationship at best.



Financial potentiality can be easily measured,an unemployed guy at 30 with no experience and with no useful degree (while she's 27-30) won't magically become financially capable when she's 32-34 if she marries him, the risk is pretty high.