Making a job a lifestyle - emotional exhaustion

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I am currently trying to find a job that I can comfortably do and make a lifestyle out of work. I had many jobs as a teenager and in college. I would generally work part time for a few months and then quit. I would get emotionally exhausted and burned out. I didn?t feel like I could do them anymore. Torment sounds like an accurate description of how I felt. Some of the jobs I was working with other people and in some of the jobs I was working alone. I got a bachelors degree in computer science in 2002. I had a difficult time in college but I was able to plow through and graduate with about a 3.4 gpa.

After I graduated I worked as a programmer for about four months. The first three months I was being trained and I took something like classes at work. When I finished the training and started to get projects of my own I became very overwhelmed and I didn?t think I could do it. I think I have difficulty concentrating. On top of that the company had an oral tradition where nothing was written down. So if you wanted to know something you had to go ask someone. I was getting emotionally exhausted and feeling torment. I quit the job and after a year my money ran out so I moved back in with my parents.

The latest job that I had was in 2007-2008. I worked as a substitute carrier at the post office. I would sort the mail and deliver the mail from my car. I would generally work one day a week on Sundays. But I would also fill in for the regular carrier when she was sick or on vacation. I would generally be working alone about 95% of the time. There were some time pressures to get the mail delivered and the outgoing mail back to the post office before 5:30pm. After about a year I ended up quitting that job too. Even working one day a week was too much. I found it to be emotionally exhausting and tormenting. It was a relief when I quit.

My problem actually goes beyond jobs. I have difficulty making meals myself, keeping my bedroom clean, and just doing day to day things. I can make myself do them but I can?t go on autopilot and it doesn?t seem to get easier. I?m not sure what the problem is exactly ? energy, motivation, concentration, mood. I found someone talking about ego depletion on this forum with a link to an article that I sort of identified with. I don?t remember where the post and unfortunately I do not have enough posts to link the article. But if you google:
Ego Depletion « You Are Not So Smart - it comes up as the first one - at least when I tried it.

I will be turning 36 years old soon. I would really like to be financially independent. I am working with the department of vocational rehabilitation in Wisconsin to try and get a job. It is not getting hired that I am worried about it is being able to do the job and have a basic level of well being. I would really like to be able to be a programmer and have it work out. But I'm thinking maybe I would have a better chance of success with a job that had a lot of downtime and one where I could listen to music on headphones while I do mindless work. But even that I am kind of pessimistic that it will work out. I am applying for ssi disability as a backup.

I would be interested to know if this is a symptom of being on the autism spectrum or if it is something different. Does anyone have problems with work that sound similar to my problems? Also if you have any advice for me ? that would be greatly appreciated.

I've been there, but there's no easy way through it. Sometimes if you just focus on one step at a time and steel yourself inch by inch, you come through it and things get easier. Focusing on routine really helps workwise and with personal chores. Simplify what steps you can when it feels like too much.

Don't be afraid to ask people to write things down, or to take notes. I keep all kind of reminder notes around me. My boss actually likes this fact, because it shows attention to detail.

Good luck, and I hope you find a good fit. With your skill set, working as a consultant for companies may be an idea to consider.

The fact that you are willing to try and put in effort towards securing a job is really good. Many people I know would not even try to work if they found it so torturous.

You stated that you quit each job you've had due to feeling overwhelmed and torturous. The important point that I take away from that is that you chose to leave and were not asked to leave. At least you know that you are capable of doing a job even if it was overwhelming and difficult. You were probably doing satisfactory work because you were not fired from your jobs.

If you don't know whether to pursue a programmer job or to pursue a job doing mindless work then I suggest you try doing the one that allows you to have more downtime, that way it might be easier for you to adjust and handle your workload. Try doing a job first that is easier and doesn't require a lot of responsibility and duties, if you are able to do that job well and not feel overwhelmed, then you can try to move towards a more demanding job such as being a programmer.

The people at vocational rehab might be able to help you with ways to keep yourself feeling less stressed while working. Organization and motivation are two things that help me with my own job. I don't particularly like working but I know that I have to work in order to make money and provide for myself. That thought keeps me going and also serves as a reminder to try to do my best while I'm at work. Working isn't easy, and it might not get easier but it is worth it to at least try.

I wish you the best of luck at finding a job and having a good work life.

I'm also feeling the same way. I can't use my education and training because even low stress causes pronounced symptoms for me. What I resorted to was finding a job in the industry I trained for that had a schedule that I could do. The stress level in my job is medium compared to the stress level of the pinnacle of my training in my industry is extremely high. One day I'll have the resources to open my own wholesale bakery then I can do my pastry by myself at my own pace, provided I make enough money!

Why don't you work for yourself? Write programs you think people will want to use and list them on the websites that service such a purpose, of which there are many. I know it's peanuts compared to a salary, but it gets you noticed and could lead to a job. Someone could come by the website like a headhunter, I'm sure they do, and get candidates.

I hope Vocational rehab helps. Know that in the future for jobs you are required to disclose aid from them should you receive any. I don't know how that affects future employment. Maybe favorably since the employer gets a tax break. Good luck in whichever path you chose.