Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

dating sites are fraud period

Page 2 of 3 [ 40 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Jono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,606
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

26 Sep 2014, 4:06 am

autismthinker21 wrote:
Jono wrote:
They are not a fraud. For example, dating sites are a good mechanism for meeting people who you would not otherwise meet if your social circle is very small.



you sound like this girl i talk to that was basically born in south africa unaccidently. she is polish, if that will help you out.


I'm not a girl, I'm male. Or are you trying to help me out by telling me about a girl that I could date? If she lives in South Africa then that would be great but if she lives in Poland then I don't do long-distance, unfortunately.



DoomNGloom
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2012
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 18

26 Sep 2014, 10:06 am

autismthinker21 wrote:
DoomNGloom wrote:
1401b wrote:
Dating Sites are intended to make money. How they are designed depends on the competence of those in charge.

Women are very much more social than men, by the time a woman fails socially so badly that she reverts to a dating site something is very, very wrong.
Or she's on the spectrum and can be a really tough nut to crack.


My 60-year-old mother met an amazing guy last year on Plenty of Fish, and now they're talking about getting married. And I'm sitting here trying to imagine *anyone* more social than my mom. :) Mom says that the modern dating scene confuses her.



well then she is right, that's my whole point of what my argument is, confusion with other members.


I don't think I'm understanding you.



autismthinker21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: illinois

26 Sep 2014, 4:46 pm

Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
you sound like this girl i talk to that was basically born in south africa unaccidently. she is polish, if that will help you out.


the word unaccidentally in this context confuses me. This sentence feels cryptic :lol:

Dating sites are like beauty pageants. I havent used one in ages but I may consider using eharmony or something like it in future under the following conditions:

1) I can immediately wade out into the deep waters bypassing the mass of shallow humanity, that is, I can set search criteria that eliminate certain types of undesirables from my search
2) I can search the database with extremely specific search criteria which would require a checklist approach whereby a profile is actually a set of items you can check off. Im not searching through thousands of profiles which all say "Im cheeky fun loving up for a good time and ready to rumble". I want to be able to search for people who are primarily intellectual and open minded (which doesnt mean that you like dogs AND cats it means that you have an open inquiring mind).
3) I dont want to search for profiles that SAY "im incredibly smart and open minded". I want profiles which demonstrate this through a variety of means. A long 100 item checklist ought to do. I could search for people via discipline (philosophers musicians and the like) and via personality.

Of course this probably doesnt exist so i'll just keep to my usual half a**ed routine which has thus far served me fairly well



great way to laugh at cryptic sentences. i really meant to say it due to everyone is backwards so i put it that way. plus unaccidentally is really suppose to say she accidentally was born in south africa. but laugh all you want, your only embarrassed and confused not me.


_________________
In order to be free, you must take your chances of letting your tortured self to be forgiven.


autismthinker21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: illinois

26 Sep 2014, 4:50 pm

Jono wrote:
autismthinker21 wrote:
Jono wrote:
They are not a fraud. For example, dating sites are a good mechanism for meeting people who you would not otherwise meet if your social circle is very small.



you sound like this girl i talk to that was basically born in south africa unaccidently. she is polish, if that will help you out.


I'm not a girl, I'm male. Or are you trying to help me out by telling me about a girl that I could date? If she lives in South Africa then that would be great but if she lives in Poland then I don't do long-distance, unfortunately.



i am saying you sound like her with that judgement of dating sites provide a better circle of friends.


_________________
In order to be free, you must take your chances of letting your tortured self to be forgiven.


autismthinker21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: illinois

26 Sep 2014, 4:52 pm

DoomNGloom wrote:
autismthinker21 wrote:
DoomNGloom wrote:
1401b wrote:
Dating Sites are intended to make money. How they are designed depends on the competence of those in charge.

Women are very much more social than men, by the time a woman fails socially so badly that she reverts to a dating site something is very, very wrong.
Or she's on the spectrum and can be a really tough nut to crack.


My 60-year-old mother met an amazing guy last year on Plenty of Fish, and now they're talking about getting married. And I'm sitting here trying to imagine *anyone* more social than my mom. :) Mom says that the modern dating scene confuses her.



well then she is right, that's my whole point of what my argument is, confusion with other members.


I don't think I'm understanding you.


well then learn to read properly. i said i agree with your mom's point of view, she has confusion with dating sites.


_________________
In order to be free, you must take your chances of letting your tortured self to be forgiven.


FireyInspiration
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: Unknown

26 Sep 2014, 4:56 pm

Dating sites charge monthly, and the longer you have an account, the more money you give them, so they want you to have and account and pay them for as long as possible, meaning they want you to stay single, at least for a while



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

26 Sep 2014, 6:53 pm

not all dating sites charge, okcupid and pof are two really good free sites.

eharmony told me there's no one for me but hey you can still sign up and pay but we won't match you.



autismthinker21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: illinois

28 Sep 2014, 2:49 pm

sly279 wrote:
not all dating sites charge, okcupid and pof are two really good free sites.

eharmony told me there's no one for me but hey you can still sign up and pay but we won't match you.



oh that is BS. why dont you find her somewhere where the internet doesnt make you match the problem.


_________________
In order to be free, you must take your chances of letting your tortured self to be forgiven.


andrethemoogle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,254
Location: Sol System

28 Sep 2014, 11:03 pm

Dating sites can be hit or miss I find.

Misses in my case for both girls I saw for awhile (we were never a couple, for either time, but did fool around a bit with the first one, nothing major though). A lot of people on those sites are superficial and judgmental, even when they claim they are not on their profile. Plus, at least where I live, people are more looking to hook up than start an actual relationship, which is a shame.



DoomNGloom
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2012
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 18

30 Sep 2014, 12:51 pm

autismthinker21 wrote:
DoomNGloom wrote:
autismthinker21 wrote:
DoomNGloom wrote:
1401b wrote:
Dating Sites are intended to make money. How they are designed depends on the competence of those in charge.

Women are very much more social than men, by the time a woman fails socially so badly that she reverts to a dating site something is very, very wrong.
Or she's on the spectrum and can be a really tough nut to crack.


My 60-year-old mother met an amazing guy last year on Plenty of Fish, and now they're talking about getting married. And I'm sitting here trying to imagine *anyone* more social than my mom. :) Mom says that the modern dating scene confuses her.



well then she is right, that's my whole point of what my argument is, confusion with other members.


I don't think I'm understanding you.


well then learn to read properly. i said i agree with your mom's point of view, she has confusion with dating sites.


Not to be TOO pedantic, but your punctuation and sentence structure don't quite match up with telling someone else to "learn to read properly." Perhaps you should learn where and how to use commas before you tell other people to learn how to read properly? (And yes, I recognize that plenty of people have learning disabilities or English is not their first language or for some other reason they have difficulty writing clearly readable sentence. I know several dyslexics and my eldest son has dyslexic dysgraphia. But those people all recognize the problem and are not likely to flip the confusion around by telling the reader to "learn to read properly".)

I specificallydid NOT say that my mother is confused by dating sites. I said "the modern dating scene confuses her" and THAT's why she went online, where she met someone on Plenty of Fish. Therefore, your response confused me, since you said "well then she is right" and continued by saying something that seemed to be, as near as I could understand it, opposite to what I had said. That is why I said I didn't think I understood you. I figured it was a bit politer than "HUH?"


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 133 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 79 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Married 8 years to AS man; 4 children


autismthinker21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: illinois

30 Sep 2014, 2:52 pm

DoomNGloom wrote:
autismthinker21 wrote:
DoomNGloom wrote:
autismthinker21 wrote:
DoomNGloom wrote:
1401b wrote:
Dating Sites are intended to make money. How they are designed depends on the competence of those in charge.

Women are very much more social than men, by the time a woman fails socially so badly that she reverts to a dating site something is very, very wrong.
Or she's on the spectrum and can be a really tough nut to crack.


My 60-year-old mother met an amazing guy last year on Plenty of Fish, and now they're talking about getting married. And I'm sitting here trying to imagine *anyone* more social than my mom. :) Mom says that the modern dating scene confuses her.



well then she is right, that's my whole point of what my argument is, confusion with other members.


I don't think I'm understanding you.


well then learn to read properly. i said i agree with your mom's point of view, she has confusion with dating sites.


Not to be TOO pedantic, but your punctuation and sentence structure don't quite match up with telling someone else to "learn to read properly." Perhaps you should learn where and how to use commas before you tell other people to learn how to read properly? (And yes, I recognize that plenty of people have learning disabilities or English is not their first language or for some other reason they have difficulty writing clearly readable sentence. I know several dyslexics and my eldest son has dyslexic dysgraphia. But those people all recognize the problem and are not likely to flip the confusion around by telling the reader to "learn to read properly".)

I specificallydid NOT say that my mother is confused by dating sites. I said "the modern dating scene confuses her" and THAT's why she went online, where she met someone on Plenty of Fish. Therefore, your response confused me, since you said "well then she is right" and continued by saying something that seemed to be, as near as I could understand it, opposite to what I had said. That is why I said I didn't think I understood you. I figured it was a bit politer than "HUH?"



Thanks for correcting me. all i can say is thank you. nothing else. oh and by the way, your sentence skills are accurate. i did have a bad writing skill but i dont like to mention it. but whatever. if you are so smart with disability ridiculousness, why are you judging my sentences? you seem to make things look like i am back in school now. wow. that is really bad.


_________________
In order to be free, you must take your chances of letting your tortured self to be forgiven.


Last edited by autismthinker21 on 30 Sep 2014, 3:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

30 Sep 2014, 3:07 pm

I don't know most of my relationships thus far have started online, thus far Ive not had one that's worked out, but whatever...seems like a fairly easy way to meet people since I suck at meeting people in real life like just going to public places and mingling is not my strong point. Met up with someone last night I met from a free dating site and actually and had a pretty good time, and I am thinking we'll probably want to see each other again.........

So I don't really see it as a fraud per say, but then I am not into the chat online or via text for weeks before ever meeting...mainly I have been on the site okcupid and when someone who seems intresting messeges me then I try and have us meet up...I even have on my profile I don't want to bother with a bunch of online crap and just prefer to meet up and talk and hang out in person, there are sh*tty dating sites and I'd never use one you have to pay for, that is excessive........but I have found it a fairly reliable way to look for relationships. But to each their own.


_________________
We won't go back.


yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

30 Sep 2014, 9:35 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
Dating sites do exactly what they say they do: give people another avenue to meet single people who are looking to date. I've met quite a few people from them, and thus far they've all been perfectly normal and respectable people.

Yep. I find people on dating sites and go on dates with them, just like if I met them in the "real world". I don't see much difference.



Northeastern292
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,159
Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills

30 Sep 2014, 10:18 pm

Jono wrote:
They are not a fraud. For example, dating sites are a good mechanism for meeting people who you would not otherwise meet if your social circle is very small.


Exactly. I met a girl on a dating site earlier this year, a New Mexico transplant to NY. Somehow, despite us not having Skyped or anything, we ended up meeting in person and sadly it was awkward, but she was who she said she was, so while I've been getting not only mixed messages from her but in general avoidance to talking to me, at least she didn't stand me up.

So with that experience, if girls could get back to me on the site I'm on, I'd be set. I'm awkward, and any girl I'd meet would have to deal with that.



1401b
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2012
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,590

21 Oct 2014, 6:57 pm

DoomNGloom wrote:
1401b wrote:
Dating Sites are intended to make money. How they are designed depends on the competence of those in charge.

Women are very much more social than men, by the time a woman fails socially so badly that she reverts to a dating site something is very, very wrong.
Or she's on the spectrum and can be a really tough nut to crack.


My 60-year-old mother met an amazing guy last year on Plenty of Fish, and now they're talking about getting married. And I'm sitting here trying to imagine *anyone* more social than my mom. :) Mom says that the modern dating scene confuses her.

Exactly my point. Thanque.


_________________
(14.01.b) cogito ergo sum confusus


Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

21 Oct 2014, 7:18 pm

1401b wrote:
DoomNGloom wrote:
1401b wrote:
Dating Sites are intended to make money. How they are designed depends on the competence of those in charge.

Women are very much more social than men, by the time a woman fails socially so badly that she reverts to a dating site something is very, very wrong.
Or she's on the spectrum and can be a really tough nut to crack.


My 60-year-old mother met an amazing guy last year on Plenty of Fish, and now they're talking about getting married. And I'm sitting here trying to imagine *anyone* more social than my mom. :) Mom says that the modern dating scene confuses her.

Exactly my point. Thanque.


Your point was that being confused by the modern dating scene means that something is very, very wrong with a woman? Those are some high standards you have there.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I