My boyfriend is falling apart?

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For the past october my boyfriend (he has aspergers) has been acting strange. One day, he said things like "I can't handle love" "I don't know what love is" "I don't want another girlfriend after you" "I feel like I can't support anyone in my life" and becomes extremely distant from me. I asked him what he means, and he says he doesn't know. He usually does this because he needs his space, so I respect that and give him space. But then the next day, he says he didn't mean what he said, sometimes he loses his sense of reality. So I said "It's ok, don't be sorry, I'm still here for you and I always will be."

Then he gets distant for a few days and says he wants time for himself... so I give him his space. Then he comes back and asks me "Why do you barely talk to me now?"

????????
I'm just soooo confused. He said that he wanted time to myself and not talk to anyone at all, so I gave him that and now he's sad because I didn't talk to him. I was just doing what he asked me to do... Since he said that, now I'm talking to him a lot now. Before all of this happened, I was just starting college and he was extremely scared I would meet another guy and leave him. I reassured him that would never happen and I love him only. He's also moving next year and we would have to be in a LDR for a while. He told me that he's upset because he has to be away from the only thing he cares about and his only friend/lover. He's also stressed because he feels like he will not do anything with his life because of his aspergers. He has a hard time finding a job because of that... and last night, he was talking about how he always loses friends and I'm the only person he really talks to. He also talked about how he feels like a loser and wants to die...

How can I comfort him? I made him his favorite cake last week. He ate it all, cried and fell asleep on me. I encourage him the best I can. My mom keeps telling me to "ditch this autistic loser" but I don't want to do that, we've been together for so long, I love him and I will not give up on him. I've never seen him feeling so low like this before...

It sounds like he needs professional help. He is depressed.

dysthymia. treatable with meds and lifestyle change. I went through it. I had to hit rock bottom first, however.

Perfectly normal behavior from my perspective.

What is going on is that there is a big change coming and that is probably all he can think about. It feels like a problem that can not be solved. It really can't, because the move hasn't happened yet. He will be fine a few weeks after.

Don't give him to much space. He can't really put this situation in perspective. Ask him about how you are going to make the LDR work, how often you will see eachother and how you are going to share stuff every day. Tell him the things you want.

I recommend using skype and texting and stuff. Find things to do together on skype, watch tv together or something. What he needs are concrete solutions and to know what you want and need from the relationship.

Therapy might help, but cognitive therapy could also just add confusion, creative therapy would be better as that creates room for perspective.

This is mostly from my experience. Just ideas. Anyway most important thing is to communicate with him. Maybe you could create some new things for his new bedroom and tell him you two will be fine over and over again.

So he says he wants time to himself, then he gets mad because you GIVE HIM that time as he requested?

That behavior is ridiculously selfish no place in a relationship. These communication games about self-esteem are absolutely unacceptable in a relationship.

I can't judge a stranger based off 1 paragraph but I'd guess this is one of his first serious relationships? He sounds lost and confused, he doesn't know how he's supposed to act or handle the situation. The pressure of living up to expectations of having a girlfriend, maintaining a relationship, showing affection to a woman.. it sounds like a lot of pressure for him, and he doesn't know how to handle it. I do believe it's very likely that he genuinely does have feelings for you, but has absolutely no idea what he's supposed to do. I would just be there for him, but - keep in mind, you're human, you have needs, and you have the right to have those needs be met.

All I got out of this is that he is a young lad that doesn't know what he wants in this relationship. It seems you dont know if you want to let him go either. A very tough choice is going to be made by one of you two.

I'm thinking about what to do now.

Should I attempt to talk with him about it one more time? Last night I tried talking to him about it but he got mad and said nothing is wrong, that I'm being paranoid and I should stop worrying.

So... should I listen to him and just let this go?

I would possibly postpone adding any more weight to the situation of moving, college, LDR, until after those things have settled. I do not believe one month of severe stress, confusion and emotional distress are worth ending a long term relationship. You did not say if this is a usual occurrence? However, if those things persist, even after the stressors have had time to settle, then maybe it is time to look at your relationship subjectively and decide if you are both benefiting from it.

I understand the stress of dealing with someone who is an "emotional rollercoaster", as my spouse has a combined personality/mood disorder, but the pros most certainly outweigh the wave of cons in my situation.

I could not imagine moving, going to college, and beginning a long distance relationship, all while contemplating the worth of the relationship (let alone having an emotionally charged conversation about it) - all at the same time.