Is a career required for a relationship?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2014, 7:34 am

314pe wrote:
Does it mean that it's more acceptable to live with your parents over there?


Yes, as long you are not married.



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24 Oct 2014, 7:40 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
House installement here costs around $800-1000 per month over 20 years, average salary for the fairly experienced with a uni degree is around $1500 per month, the car's installement can cost from $150 to 400, depending on the model and how many limit credit left for you.

What many couples do here, is to dedicate one income for those costs and the other income for the other living costs; but here's the issue: You need to be a couple in the first place. If you are a single individual with an average income, it's quasi impossible to do both, a second income is needed.
Hence why marriage here had been the only ticket for full independence for many for so long.


Yes, this is really like in Russia, particulary Moscow. Even prices are more or less same ,now salaries here going down in dollars (rouble falling rapidly to all currencies), cars are more expensive and 1000$ is very basic apartments. I wonder how similar can be lifestyle in such a far countries.

Some of my friends have taken mortgage for apartments but they are as you said couples, both he and she are working and parents helped a lot of course.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2014, 7:43 am

Here, a real demostration:

http://www.hsbc.com.lb/1/2/lb/personal/ ... -loan-calc

For a home loan $200,000 (that equals to around 110 sq apartment in rusty old bloc in Beirut) - over 20 years (to make it most affordable monthly) - the installement turns out to be $1272 per month.

That's about 72% of my monthly salary.



Jono
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24 Oct 2014, 7:49 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Here, a real demostration:

http://www.hsbc.com.lb/1/2/lb/personal/ ... -loan-calc

For a home loan $200,000 (that equals to around 110 sq apartment in rusty old bloc in Beirut) - over 20 years (to make it most affordable monthly) - the installement turns out to be $1272 per month.

That's about 72% of my monthly salary.


Didn't you previously say that you needed your own apartment in order to have get a girlfriend as an adult?



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2014, 7:50 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
314pe wrote:
Does it mean that it's more acceptable to live with your parents over there?


Yes, as long you are not married.



And one more thing, since there are not much social services for the eldery, so at some point your eldery parents would be your full responsibility.

And leaving them in a shelter is not much culturally accepted, not the mention that nursing services aren't cheap.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2014, 7:51 am

Jono wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Here, a real demostration:

http://www.hsbc.com.lb/1/2/lb/personal/ ... -loan-calc

For a home loan $200,000 (that equals to around 110 sq apartment in rusty old bloc in Beirut) - over 20 years (to make it most affordable monthly) - the installement turns out to be $1272 per month.

That's about 72% of my monthly salary.


Didn't you previously say that you needed your own apartment in order to have get a girlfriend as an adult?


For the matter of fact, yes, it would make everything easier.



sly279
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24 Oct 2014, 1:19 pm

AlexanderDantes wrote:

You are only in your early twenties, there's still plenty of time to achieve what you want.

People are going to struggle more and more with finding work in a world with an alarmingly increasing population. Power and finances can be illusory in today's society, people can have expensive cars on finance despite being in debt. Maybe you would be better starting your own entrepreneurial business with your mechanical skills?


26 going on 27 is late late 20s.

increasing population with increasing automation = far far less jobs. fast food is planing to become automated from the cash register to the kitchen so there goes 20 jobs per place. most stores are getting automated cash registers here so there goes 5 jobs more store and more if they decide to move totally automated.

I can't do automotive work sadly.



Mitrovah
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24 Oct 2014, 4:01 pm

Statistically yes, several polls who asked women this question replied a steady employment was a big factor in choosing a partner. If you wish to have the women you want having a good job makes the dating game easier. Fact 1970 there were 139 single men with a steady job for every 100 single women. 2002 91 men with a steady job for every 100 single women. The competition is getting tougher.



goldfish21
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24 Oct 2014, 4:16 pm

This thread is reading like a game of one-upping each other on how sh***y our dating lives & economies are.

OK, I'll play a little.. 32, never had a real relationship (just a sex life, pretty much.) & currently live with family to save money. I live where real estate is the 2nd least affordable in the entire world, next to Hong Kong. Minimum wage is $10.50/hr. Average detached house prices in the city are now $1M. Statistically, which is impossible and goes to show just how much untaxed cash flows around our economy, it takes 90% of the average Gross household income to pay for the average housing costs here. (People don't Net even close to that, so obviously there's plenty of off the books income paying for things.) It takes a couple or a family to buy a home in most cases. Either that or foreign wealth, as has been buying up much of our city. It's a financially difficult place to live for many. It's also rated as a rather difficult place for people to meet partners w/ plenty of social isolation going on. In part due to language barriers (the whole world lives here, literally) & cultural differences as well as some peoples' expectations that potential mates earn a lot of money so they can live the good life here in Vancouver.

It's pretty hard here for almost everyone.. BUT, nothing worth doing is easy. Ever.

Over the last year or so I've gotten way healthier, happier, physically fitter, and have stacked approximately $27K CDN in cash & stocks and am looking to go nowhere but up in life in all aspects. I'm currently single, but lately have really been feeling like I want to start a bit of a dating life vs. merely having a sex life. So, I'll venture down that path and meet some likeminded others and see who I might click with. Eventually I know I'll meet someone to be with long term and tackle the challenges of life, business, and this city with together. 8) And it's a beautiful city at that? even without a partner in crime, I try to make the most of what it has to offer. Mountains, ocean, beaches, city, forests, parks.. year round outdoor sports & activities that are the envy of the world. International food & culture from all over the map can be found in various parts of the city. High tech, low tech, Vancouver casual, business & finance, international trade, agriculture, biotech, languages, arts and on and on and on this place has EVERYTHING anyone could possible dream of immersing themselves in - and a whole heck of a lot of it costs little to nothing. This past Summer I worked a lot, but also hung out at several different beaches, hiked the Grouse Grind, went kiteboarding in Squamish 12 days, took in some performances around town & had a whole lot more fun with friends and family that cost me next to nothing in terms of dollars.

I guess my point is that the challenges of our economies & social lives are all merely a matter of perspective. 1.5-2 years ago I was miserable, frustrated, & financially bankrupt. I viewed eventually buying a home as impossible, and avoided dating/relationship stuff like the plague because I didn't want to burden someone else with my bs. Fortunately I've had some wonderful friends in my life along the way. Anyways, having dramatically improved my health, my perspective is very different. Sure, this place isn't easy to make a go of life in.. but now I feel like if I continue to work hard and smart, save & invest, continuously improve my health, keep learning & growing etc that I CAN make it here. I'll eventually have my own home (rent at first, buy much later). And I'll eventually have someone special in my life when I meet the right homo.

Sitting around debating who's got it worse is completely pointless in terms of overcoming our own individual social and economic challenges. My/our time is much better spent solving problems than perpetuating them. After a while, the compound effect of your efforts starts to build momentum and things get easier and easier. I'm experiencing that now & plan to stay the course in order to build a better future for myself. I really hope that you guys are able to do the same for yourselves, because doing as you've always done and getting as you've always gotten doesn't sound like much fun at all if you're having a bad time.


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24 Oct 2014, 4:17 pm

Mitrovah wrote:
Statistically yes, several polls who asked women this question replied a steady employment was a big factor in choosing a partner. If you wish to have the women you want having a good job makes the dating game easier. Fact 1970 there were 139 single men with a steady job for every 100 single women. 2002 91 men with a steady job for every 100 single women. The competition is getting tougher.


If women love what we give to them, rather then our persons... I think I'd rather quit the human race...what a scam. Who wants to purchase 'love'? Apparently most everyone...

What a sad caricature romance has turned into.



goldfish21
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24 Oct 2014, 4:29 pm

Klowglas wrote:
Mitrovah wrote:
Statistically yes, several polls who asked women this question replied a steady employment was a big factor in choosing a partner. If you wish to have the women you want having a good job makes the dating game easier. Fact 1970 there were 139 single men with a steady job for every 100 single women. 2002 91 men with a steady job for every 100 single women. The competition is getting tougher.


If women love what we give to them, rather then our persons... I think I'd rather quit the human race...what a scam. Who wants to purchase 'love'? Apparently most everyone...

What a sad caricature romance has turned into.


Women have always been attracted to the mightiest Alpha male provider.. this is not a new concept. It's just that housing, material possessions etc have changed since the days of caves & freshly killed meat. Women still want the same thing in a guy - someone who can be successful, strong, confident, and provide for them and their children.


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Jjancee
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24 Oct 2014, 5:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jjancee wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Jjancee wrote:


I consider an adult to be gainfully employed if they earn enough to support themselves, save a little for the future, live independently (not with mom/dad) and have a life. There's no exact income threshold to do that.



Haha, no income threshold to afford that? are you serious or you're just living in the past/under a rock? How old are you? You sound like those oldies who lecture on the youngsters how they lived independent at 18 without taking into consideration how the world economy is 10x times worse than their days.

Tell that to guys who live in countries where horrible appartments in cities cost at least $200k with a very low GDP per capita; high education went up crazily too.

In my region, the only young and single ones I know who could live totally independently on their own, are the ones who have rich parents.

Living with roomates means renting with others, and rental burns your money without adding any asset property for you - so guys who plan to get married don't go that route because they need to save as much money as they can in order to buy a place.


I'm 33 -- not an old fogey. My parents aren't wealthy, I haven't taken a dime from them in 15ish years and I've lived alone for the past 10 years. I have never and will NEVER date an adult male who has completed his education and still lives at home with his mommy/daddy.

In grad school, I lived LARGE on the princely sum of $850 (after tax) month stipend in a tiny Pennsylvania town from 2001-2003. I had a roomie and my share of the rent was $183/month. (I'd spent the previous 4 yrs as a broke undergrad living on $500/month in a HUGE, expensive city. My grad student stipend was the most money I'd ever earned!).

My first job out of grad school paid $82k, before bonus, in Houston, and I was barely 23. This was in 2004. I rented an apartment for a few years ($900/month), saved a down payment, eventually bought a house ($240k), which I have long since paid off. Big Oil pays the big bucks - and, yes, Houston is the armpit of America but does have high salaries and super-cheap cost of living going for it.

Someone asked the question if a guy needs a career to have a relationship and you just didn't like my HONEST answer.

(Many of the guys I've dates have earned less than me, which doesn't bother me in the least. I'm guessing that here in Houston, earning $40-45k would be adequate to meet the "earn enough to be a grownup" as I've chosen to define it. You just sound bitter that you've no relationship & find it convenient to blame it on your job vs your personality!)



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2014, 5:16 pm

Jjancee wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jjancee wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Jjancee wrote:


I consider an adult to be gainfully employed if they earn enough to support themselves, save a little for the future, live independently (not with mom/dad) and have a life. There's no exact income threshold to do that.



Haha, no income threshold to afford that? are you serious or you're just living in the past/under a rock? How old are you? You sound like those oldies who lecture on the youngsters how they lived independent at 18 without taking into consideration how the world economy is 10x times worse than their days.

Tell that to guys who live in countries where horrible appartments in cities cost at least $200k with a very low GDP per capita; high education went up crazily too.

In my region, the only young and single ones I know who could live totally independently on their own, are the ones who have rich parents.

Living with roomates means renting with others, and rental burns your money without adding any asset property for you - so guys who plan to get married don't go that route because they need to save as much money as they can in order to buy a place.


I'm 33 -- not an old fogey. My parents aren't wealthy, I haven't taken a dime from them in 15ish years and I've lived alone for the past 10 years. I have never and will NEVER date an adult male who has completed his education and still lives at home with his mommy/daddy.

In grad school, I lived LARGE on the princely sum of $850 (after tax) month stipend in a tiny Pennsylvania town from 2001-2003. I had a roomie and my share of the rent was $183/month. (I'd spent the previous 4 yrs as a broke undergrad living on $500/month in a HUGE, expensive city. My grad student stipend was the most money I'd ever earned!).

My first job out of grad school paid $82k, before bonus, in Houston, and I was barely 23. This was in 2004. I rented an apartment for a few years ($900/month), saved a down payment, eventually bought a house ($240k), which I have long since paid off. Big Oil pays the big bucks - and, yes, Houston is the armpit of America but does have high salaries and super-cheap cost of living going for it.

Someone asked the question if a guy needs a career to have a relationship and you just didn't like my HONEST answer.

(Many of the guys I've dates have earned less than me, which doesn't bother me in the least. I'm guessing that here in Houston, earning $40-45k would be adequate to meet the "earn enough to be a grownup" as I've chosen to define it. You just sound bitter that you've no relationship & find it convenient to blame it on your job vs your personality!)


Not everyone is living in places like Houstan and making over 80$ just out of school and buy a 240k house before 33; haven't you seen my calculations? An 850$ here would be a first salary for a graduate here, not for a student.

You sound like a pretentious one honestly. Tarantella? :lol:

You'll die alone, probably from ego explosion.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Oct 2014, 2:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Jjancee
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24 Oct 2014, 6:20 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jjancee wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jjancee wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Jjancee wrote:


I consider an adult to be gainfully employed if they earn enough to support themselves, save a little for the future, live independently (not with mom/dad) and have a life. There's no exact income threshold to do that.



Haha, no income threshold to afford that? are you serious or you're just living in the past/under a rock? How old are you? You sound like those oldies who lecture on the youngsters how they lived independent at 18 without taking into consideration how the world economy is 10x times worse than their days.

Tell that to guys who live in countries where horrible appartments in cities cost at least $200k with a very low GDP per capita; high education went up crazily too.

In my region, the only young and single ones I know who could live totally independently on their own, are the ones who have rich parents.

Living with roomates means renting with others, and rental burns your money without adding any asset property for you - so guys who plan to get married don't go that route because they need to save as much money as they can in order to buy a place.


I'm 33 -- not an old fogey. My parents aren't wealthy, I haven't taken a dime from them in 15ish years and I've lived alone for the past 10 years. I have never and will NEVER date an adult male who has completed his education and still lives at home with his mommy/daddy.

In grad school, I lived LARGE on the princely sum of $850 (after tax) month stipend in a tiny Pennsylvania town from 2001-2003. I had a roomie and my share of the rent was $183/month. (I'd spent the previous 4 yrs as a broke undergrad living on $500/month in a HUGE, expensive city. My grad student stipend was the most money I'd ever earned!).

My first job out of grad school paid $82k, before bonus, in Houston, and I was barely 23. This was in 2004. I rented an apartment for a few years ($900/month), saved a down payment, eventually bought a house ($240k), which I have long since paid off. Big Oil pays the big bucks - and, yes, Houston is the armpit of America but does have high salaries and super-cheap cost of living going for it.

Someone asked the question if a guy needs a career to have a relationship and you just didn't like my HONEST answer.

(Many of the guys I've dates have earned less than me, which doesn't bother me in the least. I'm guessing that here in Houston, earning $40-45k would be adequate to meet the "earn enough to be a grownup" as I've chosen to define it. You just sound bitter that you've no relationship & find it convenient to blame it on your job vs your personality!)


Not everywhere is living in places like Houstan and making over 80$ just out of school and buy a 240k house before 33; haven't you seen my calculations? An 850$ here would be a first salary for a graduate here, not for a student.

You sound like a pretentious one honestly. Tarantella? :lol:

You'll gonna die alone, probably from ego explosion.


Minimum wage is $7.25 in TX. A full-time, minimum wage job pays nearly $1200/mo.



goldfish21
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24 Oct 2014, 6:25 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You'll gonna die alone, probably from ego explosion.


I don't see it that way.

The healthier, wealthier, more educated & experienced I become myself the higher the bar is raised in terms of who I might consider dating or spending my life with. As it should be, IMO, if you have self respect/love enough to realize what you want & deserve in a partner. It's not arrogance.. it's being selective and for good reason.


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Mitrovah
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25 Oct 2014, 12:44 am

goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You'll gonna die alone, probably from ego explosion.


I don't see it that way.

The healthier, wealthier, more educated & experienced I become myself the higher the bar is raised in terms of who I might consider dating or spending my life with. As it should be, IMO, if you have self respect/love enough to realize what you want & deserve in a partner. It's not arrogance.. it's being selective and for good reason.


I agree and I don't fault women for being choosey based on economic stability. Who wants to spend their time with someone who is broke and a mental basket case? Not me.