Am I doing online dating wrong?

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LucySnowe
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27 Oct 2014, 5:08 pm

I know the saying is, if you have to ask, you probably are, but bear with me!

I'm a woman who has been doing online dating for about six months. I try to reach out to men whose profiles I like (they're probably NT, maybe I'm asking the wrong people). I never get any response, even when I look to see if they've seen my profile. On their profiles, they say they want the woman to approach them, but from what I've seen that's not the case. Do you think I'm being too aggressive? Or maybe it's the messages I'm sending. Am I supposed to wait for the guy to come to me? I know I'm not supposed to chase the guy by e-mailing him over and over, but I still don't know what's appropriate!



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Oct 2014, 5:44 pm

It's probably your picture.



1401b
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27 Oct 2014, 5:49 pm

Send one to me and I'll tell you.


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Stargazer43
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27 Oct 2014, 5:55 pm

My guess would be that it's either the way your profile is written, what you're saying in the messages, your pictures, or the type of people you're messaging. My bet would be on the first three though! If you're comfortable sharing your profile, I'd be more than happy to provide my personal feedback on it. What types of things are you saying in your messages?



Cryptex
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27 Oct 2014, 5:55 pm

Note: I don't have any experience on this.

Don't stop trying. You can't lose anything (aside from energy :)).
Yes, guys love to be approached. That's not the problem.
Too many opportunities get lost because one is afraid, unconfident, or thinks it doesn't matter.
I missed out on one (and the only) relationship in the past by not saying anything. I still regret it.

I would say, send one message. After a while send a second one. If he doesn't respond he's either not online/doesn't receive your message, or he's not interested. Nothing to worry about, Better luck next time. Spamming him won't change a thing.
But if you're talking about many different guys during that 6 month period, there may be another problem.

Have a look at the messages you send, and your profile/profile picture. Make sure you only put in the necessary information.
I can't help you with that. I suggest you look up some tips online.

Good luck! Oh, and don't stop trying.



jms100
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27 Oct 2014, 7:46 pm

Hi,

I actually would love a girl to chase me, instead of "trying" to do the chasing, i'm not sure I can help with you're issues as I get hardly any response myself..

All I can say if by chance you came accross my profile and mailed me, I'd at least send a thanks but no thanks if I wasn't into you :)



yellowtamarin
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27 Oct 2014, 7:49 pm

We need examples :)
Examples of the types of messages you are sending, what it says in your profile, your pics, etc. There's no way to tell what you are doing wrong without seeing what you are doing and how you are presenting yourself.

Just "doing the approaching" in itself shouldn't be an issue, I do it all the time and it's fine.