Approaching chicks.

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I have a hard time approaching the ladies. How do you get yourselves to go up to someone and talk to them/ask them out? I've had chicks come up to me and flirt with me a couple times, but it didn't go well. Any tips/advice? I don't want to do online dating.

No. I had the same problem, but it always worked to flirt with them at a distance.

Well, things get easier with practice. My suggestion is that you work on your courage/confidence little by little. It doesn't have to be much. Stick a bunch of bricks together and you get a wall, right? So, start by interacting with strangers in a positive fashion, or getting to know acquaintances better. Eventually you'll become comfortable enough with approaching strangers that it will seem easier to approach a female you're interested in. I suggest when you approach random strangers you don't focus on one specific group (ie young women) and have conversations with other men, old people, ect as the variety will help you in other areas of your life as well. Plus, people that are not in the group you want to date are probably going to be easier for you to approach at first because it lacks the awkward factor of "Golly gosh you're really pretty." or whatever.

Also, really good things sort of bleed into each other. Have something awesome happen to you? That's a good time to talk to a girl because we're pretty good on picking up on things like that and if you're actually confident and happy we'll know/be impressed. If you've had a good day it should boost your confidence just enough to make everything go a little smoother. One positive chat will make you more confident, leading to another that makes you even more confident, and another, ect. So, if you're having an awesome day, that's the best time to go up to and talk to someone.

I hope that helped a little? I don't really know how to help exactly since I've never actively tried to pick up other girls (it'd be really awkward since I'm straight) but I used the first two when I was trying to get more comfortable approaching shopkeepers and secretaries and stuff. It worked pretty well.

Welcome to WP, lightningorb

How old are you? I'm guessing you're pretty young as you're saying "chicks", as opposed to "women"!

Give her a compliment. Something genuine, not tacky.

How could you give somebody a compliment if you don't dare to approach them?

Uhmm, no. It doesn't become better with age and not with practice either. And I should be old enough to know. The only way I know of is to try to fake I'm not interested. That's not really practice, it's a compensatory technique, but it can work if I'm only moderately interested. If I have a crush it doesn't work. However, this solution does mesh with the idea of avoiding getting too emotionally attached too early, because approach problems accelerate with attachment.



That's not the same thing. It's easy to approach a female I'm not interested in, and always have been. Especially if I have some reason to approach her.

First of all, don't refer to them as "chicks." lol

Mainly it's about getting them to talk about things in common. Not that I'm any kind of PUA. I've gotten drunk at a couple of bars and talked to people ... I don't recommend this.

Try to draw the person out by showing interest in what they say.

I don't think people actually walk up to girls and talk to them other than in the movies.

Just be natural, find something to talk to them about. I asked some girl behind me in line at wal-mart if that box of "Great value" something other was wal-mart's version of wheat thins. The conversation turned into a debate about the best cereal, then mario kart, amongst other things.

I didn't have the balls to ask her out, but you get my point. You don't have to force the situation, "hi how r u im andy" doesn't always work. Just talk about stuff.

I totally agree with this. Cold approaches on the streets are not liked my most women unless the man is george cloony himself.

Well, if you want to approach the chicks, the beware of the mother hen. She's usually protective of her babies.

A handful of feed works.

Though don't approach at night, as they'll be all huddled together, fearful of what's out to get them. The farmer might be around too; he be mean, yo.

Oh yeah forgot about this. Anyways, I've gotten 3 phone numbers so far, and 1 date. Basically I just forced myself to go up and talk.. I probably looked alil weird on some approaches, but it's all good

Please do tell us. I would love to read your stories.
I never understood how someone can just talk to another person, without reason, but I'd love to learn .
If saying stuff like "Hi, my name is mr. X, How are you?" is not the right way, and you don't have a subject in mind, how do you do it?

I ask, because I've never heard or seen a spontaneous conversation in public. Maybe I should pay more attention.

My first advice? Don't refer to them as "chicks" or "the ladies".

Also, women are not prizes to be won, property to be owned, or services to be rented.

First and foremost, women are people, with feelings, fears, dreams and ambitions. The OP would do well to never forget that.



To the OP ...

Make eye contact, but don't stare (especially at anything below their chins). Acknowledge their feelings. Ask for clarification (even if you already know), and respond with a smile and a nod when you finally "get it".

It also helps to offer to buy their next drink or meal. Most important, handle rejection with grace - smile, laugh, say "See you around", and move away quickly. Other people will be watching, and if they see someone handle rejection by getting all mopey and whiny, word will get around faster than the flu virus in an elevator -- don't be that guy who reacts badly to rejection.

Never seem desperate. Develop a cheerful "Je ne sais quoi" attitude (it means "I do not care"), so that when/if she expresses disinterest, you can walk away without making things worse.