Singles Depression Leading to Death?

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Kaufmancab51
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26 Oct 2014, 10:46 pm

It seems as if through this recent wave of depression, I have been experiencing some weird things going on with myself that is starting to make me even more uncertain.

For those of you who aren't familiar, I was recently involved in an AS/AS relationship that lasted a little under 8 months. She admitted to me over the phone after I had gotten home from work (and promoted in the same week mind you) that she had cheated on me with an old fling. With my luck of relationships, the more I break-up, the worse I get hit with depression.

I'm not sure what is going on. I've had initial anxiety attacks, those have stopped...

But this next wave of depression hits me at work, sometimes so hard that I get chest pains (as if someone is stabbing my heart). This doesn't sound natural at all, why is it that I am getting physical pain from something like this?

I've gotten over most of this relationship, but two things are in my head that scare me: if I don't find anyone, will I die young? If I do and things don't work out, will I end up in the hospital from all of the stress, anxiety and depression?

I don't want to die young because of my depression over being single...


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auntblabby
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26 Oct 2014, 11:29 pm

a lot of people need a total change of pace after such an experience as yours and one of the best ways to do that is to join the military, it seems fairly effective at making one forget about another person.



downbutnotout
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27 Oct 2014, 12:02 pm

I don't know how recently "recent" is, but these feelings don't last forever. Just longer for some people than for others. Take care of yourself, and you won't die young.

You can certainly get sick from stress and anxiety, but spikes are normal here and there, especially after something difficult like ending a relationship or being cheated on. It has to be a lot over a prolonged period of time. My mother has heart issues and needs medications, but she's always been a very anxious person, involved in drama, and has had to work some excruciatingly tough jobs.



DoubleCatrin
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27 Oct 2014, 12:27 pm

well in case you don't want to go in the army,
you should try to take care of yourself like Downbutnotout said.
Troubling too much about that pain in the chest?
Go see a doctor just to make sure everything is working good and it's from your sadness.
-try drinking calming tea?
-listen to meditative music?
-talk about your problem, like you did now, that usually helps :D
Try to get at peace with yourself, she was precious to you but you have to find some faults in her maybe? to disregard her?
The fact that she cheated proves that she was not good enough for you and it doesn't make you less deserving or something.


Hope i made some sense.


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Cafeaulait
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27 Oct 2014, 12:38 pm

I feel sorry for you. Having your partner cheat on you can be a real blow to your self esteem and faith in humanity.
What are you doing on a daily basis? Are you filling in your life in a way that makes you feel satisfied with it?



danothan24
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27 Oct 2014, 6:49 pm

Sorry this happened to you. One of the few advantages to being perpetually single is never having to worry about someone cheating on me. I honestly don't think I could handle it.

This probably isn't what you want to hear right now, but it really is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. Someone was willing to give you a chance and spend a significant amount of time with you. If one person was, it's likely you can find someone who will as well. If nothing else, at least you got some life experience out of this. Lack of experiences is one of the biggest issues people on the spectrum need to worry about. The fact that you've had successes so far speaks well for your future. Hope you can find someone more mature.


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Kaufmancab51
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27 Oct 2014, 11:19 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
I feel sorry for you. Having your partner cheat on you can be a real blow to your self esteem and faith in humanity.
What are you doing on a daily basis? Are you filling in your life in a way that makes you feel satisfied with it?


I am a retail store manager, which sucks the motivation out of me a lot (I find myself constantly moving around a lot and staying active in the workplace, its a fairly large store). On days I have off I try to unwind, but since I still stay at home my days off are already planned by my parents, who have me drive them around everywhere.

In the rare instance I have a day to myself, I don't go out, spend a little bit of time on the computer, etc. But with such a low amount of friends, it's hard to plan anything, especially when I never know how my work schedule is set up. I never know what days I have off until a day or two beforehand.

To even add more unnecessary excuses, I have a hard time dealing with the smallest gesture of saying "hi" to a stranger. It's not someone I feel comfortable with, which triggers part of my brain to just shut down and pull me back. Which is why even coffee shops (I don't even drink coffee or tea) are a big ordeal for me, if i'm not around people I know.

auntblabby wrote:
a lot of people need a total change of pace after such an experience as yours and one of the best ways to do that is to join the military, it seems fairly effective at making one forget about another person.


The military is not my fit. I'm barely 140 lbs, almost 6 feet and flat footed. No disrespect to our armed forces, but the military is not for me.


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