Anyone Feel Like She is in Competition with Neurotypicals

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little_blue_jay
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20 Sep 2014, 5:45 pm

tweety_fan wrote:
"You are not in competition with each other! Repeat. You are not in competition with each other!- Marge Simpson


I don't feel the need to compete with people. I don't see the point.


Yes, it just takes too much mental energy which I don't have.


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kdm1984
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20 Sep 2014, 6:09 pm

Almost every day.



Antharis
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22 Sep 2014, 12:43 am

I think this is more part of being a woman than an aspie-nt issue. Women are their own worst enemies.

On the Aspie/NT playing field though, how can an apple compete with an orange?



Raleigh
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25 Sep 2014, 6:24 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
No I actuallt think I am prettier than most women. I have quite the X factor.
But yes I am jealous if NT women for their confidence and their resiliance.

Good for you!
About the resilience - I think with the social/communication/sensory issues many of us have, we are amazingly resilient.


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27 Sep 2014, 7:43 pm

I don't really feel in competition with NT women, though I guess I might if I were in the dating field. I don't know about that though-- I certainly did not feel as if I were in competition with the other girls in high school. I knew they "had something" (in a good way) that I didn't, and that I could not compete, so I just sort of went my own way and did my own thing.

I don't get bothered by Playboy women, either. In the same vein, I sort of figure that the women in those photos are about four steps of process removed from me: 1) They spend huge amounts of time and energy on looking like that, 2) They were photographed by professionals, with professional lighting and all that, 3) They were airbrushed to perfection before the photographers, wardrobe genies, and lighting magicians ever got near them, and 4) They were then photoshopped, just in case all the other artists missed something.

If I did all that, I'd look like those women too (but I'd still be 36 instead of 23, and I still wouldn't dot my i's with little flowers and hearts). But I don't wanna do all that. So they look like that, and I don't, and it makes about as much sense as a potato being in competition with an orange.

I do, however, constantly feel like NT women set the standard for what it means to be "woman." How A Woman ought to act, what A Woman ought to be, what men expect from A Woman. Against that standard, I simply do not, cannot, and will not measure up. I can work very hard to be a poor imitation of that standard, or I can work less hard to be a better me.


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wisenupjanetweiss
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30 Oct 2014, 4:49 pm

I find myself in competition with other women a lot, and I think a large part of it is that I'm still at the age where women will (from what I have observed) judge each other harshly even if they are complete strangers. (Teens to early twenties. I feel like stereotypically, women are "presented" [on television, and such] as doing this even into their forties and fifties, but I feel that if you've not grown out of this by thirty or so, there's not a ton of hope for you anyways...Sorry.)

I have one of two responses to this.

1. Take myself out of the competition by not caring. I just...Dress in my normal, relaxed, somewhat tomboyish style of clothing; forget about makeup; and so on.
2. I excel. I gussy myself up, and make sure every detail is perfect. If I lose at this point, it is because at this point, they are simply "better".

And it goes relatively the same in matters of social media, etc. I'm one, or I'm the other.

The latter is fairly ridiculous, but I can't, for whatever reason, rid myself of it...