Did anyone ever recover?

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yes, this is supposed to be a refuge, a port in a storm, a safe harbor.

I feel like I have the same problem every time I'm on a date and in a way it has more to do with me than my date.
Could it be that I just have to do on more and more dates? That if I have a 1% compatibility rating I just have have to date a hundred woman to get even odds or is there more to it than that?

I don't think I could cover that up if I tried.

Oh gods I'm doomed

Crap

actually had one break off talking with me cause I lacked relationship experience. she told me that was why. we had been doing ok before hand. she just couldn't be with someone who hadn't had past gfs. i guess it'd been better if i'd had a bunch of bad past relationships then none. :'(

Great, do you think she was aware of the catch-22 she was creating?

And when I think of some of the girls who were interested in me at high school who I ignored because I was stupid, if I had of been less stupid I wouldn't know be in this catch-22

It's all my fault

And the impetus behind all my hair brained career plans lately was when I read on some profiles that they want a guy with ambition and that many of the girls who were younger than me already had grad degrees and professional careers so then I wanted to do all that so I could impress them but now I wonder if I'll study my arse off, then work my arse off in some more than 40 hour per week job so I can say to girls ?I've got a career now? and then I end up failing for some other reason... and then too late I'll realise I gave up a $2,000 per month pension and instead I'm working overtime to make my boss richer.

And I can't figure out if my desire to have a career is just me trying to become a showoff/people pleaser or if my desire to not have a career a career is just me being lazy. I'm biased. I'm just not sure which direction I'm biased in. Cue cognitive dissonance.

You're only "doomed" if you keep up with that mentality! One thing I've learned over the years is that our lives are what we make them - if we just wait around and hope for things to change for the better, then nothing happens and nothing gets better. Most things in life required hard work to achieve, and this is one area that's no different, particularly for those of us who have additional challenges to overcome. Figure out what is causing you difficulties, and try to work on those issues. I'm starting to see a therapist this week to work on mine...I've grown pretty convinced that it's one issue in particular that really ends up limiting me, but I don't think I can get past it without help.

Based on your "profile" thread you seem like a really interesting guy, so you do have that going for you! With respect to the online thing, I think that getting better pictures (think: happy, smiling, fun activities!) will do loads to improve your success there. I remember when I switched from my original "apartment selfie" to a picture in front of a waterfall, the response rate to my messages went through the roof.

True enough, just like with career I often feel like I'd have to work twice as hard to achieve the same thing, twice as hard to get the same credit.
Hmmm. Maybe my shrink can refer me to whatever type of therapist does that sort of thing.

I don't even know if I really have a "mental barrier" or if it's only something in my head.

Wow that seems like such a simple thing. There are a few waterfalls 'round here, I just need to figure out which of my friends is the best photographer.

That's another difficulty I have. It seems like men and women think differently and that makes it harder to figure out what women are thinking. I mean, when I judge a woman's picture on her profile, I do it solely based on attractiveness, I'm unlikely to notice what's the the background.

The only problem with having a background such as a waterfall is that in order for my face to be recognizable in a thumbnail I always have to heavily crop the picture and that means there might not be much background to be seen.

No, you don't . It doesn't need to be a super-closeup, just enough to show what you look like in general. You can have other pictures that show your face in more detail if you prefer.

Maybe your right. They can see a bigger view if they click the picture but I was going under the assumption that they'd be skimming through on thumbnail view...

Am I the only one who's spent hours trying to figure out how to take the best selfie?

I thought most people don't even want to know about their partner's past relationships. Wouldn't you probably be able to 'slip under the radar'? Also, if someone turns down a partner for being inexperienced, wouldn't that make them not a partner you'd want to date anyway?

In some cases they could still tell I'm inexperienced in general. Some girls would notice a guy has a reasonable degree of experience without needing specific examples.

However, some girls don't notice I'm inexperienced and they assume I know what I'm doing, therefor they interpret my ineptitude as a sign I dislike them. That's the sort of thing that makes my wonder if I should do an early disclose of my AS (I might start a thread on that (or has it been done?))

Maybe not but everyone has turnoffs. I always here "if she turned you down because you did X, you shouldn't date her" which is fine but there's no one in the world without any turnoffs at all. I can't fault a girl for having things they like and dislike about a guy because like all guys I have things I like or dislike about girls.

The only way to lose your inexperience is to get experienced.

Forget about how old you are--forget about how much you "missed." You're still a young guy.

Go for it!

Sure, I still want to go for it, the only problem is I still don't have a date for tonight

You'll get one soon enough.

Jjancee, insulting others and calling them "creep" is against the rules. Your post and subsequent replies have been removed.