To the gals: What do you want in a guy?

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Speaking in a very general sense, women want a warrior poet.
That is to say, someone both powerful and caring.
Think Darryl in "Walking Dead".
Think Han Solo.
Think almost every hero in every movie you've ever seen, bearing in mind that power comes in many forms. Money, education, and charisma, for example.
So, a lawyer who spends his weekends volunteering at a soup kitchen would be highly desirable.

Of course, there are other qualities (such as a sense of humor) that are more or less important to different individual women. But the general, overarching desire for the warrior poet is, as far as I can tell, darn near universal.


credentials: I'm a married female.

Not really what I picture when I think of what I'd find attractive, though people like you describe do make good friends.

Also most women want a guy with a practical degree: maths, physics, biochemistry, biomedical science, computer science or pharmacology are good choices.

Avoid subjects like sociology or English literature unless you plan to be an academic.

Bout time I hear about a girl that's into introverted guys...

First post, but hey, I suppose this is a decent way to introduce myself. The most important qualities for me are brutal honesty and good communication, as well as the ability to carry on intellectual conversation. Being good with kids is a must. I'm not too picky when it comes to looks because I judge attraction based on scent/pheremones. I like eyeglasses, especially if they're unique. I do prefer an introverted guy who also enjoys going out, if that makes sense. I enjoy hanging out one-on-one, or small groups, but I get nervous in large group situations. Someone who's more chill seems to balance me, because I feed off the energy of those around me and I can be high strung otherwise. I like holding hands and I love romance. I kind of miss the days when exchanging mix CDs was the thing. I often date much younger guys too, but that's probably something I need to change, because it doesn't seem to be working. I also need someone who doesn't get intimidated by intelligent, successful women. That's much harder to find than you'd think. Oh, and a strong sex drive is kind of a big deal.

If that was still a 'thing' than I'd use it as a screening process didn't know it was a typical thing ever though but anyways....give them burned CD with music I like and if they like it they're a keeper if not than hell nah, also if I listen to theirs and have the urge to burn it then also hell nah.

i'm more like erasing the guys i don't like and getting to know better the ones that seem okei.

one thing i don't appreciate, is guys running around after how a woman looks like, it tells me they are superficial for some reason.
and later i would never know if they're near me because they like how i look or because of who I am
sure these things are a bit connected but I am referring to those guys that see JUSt the LOoks!

Agreed. There's this Italian guy who keeps checking me out up and down in salsa classes. I think that is just rude and I would never want to date him. It's so obvious that he isn't interested in ME, but only in my body.

Many years ago I suggested to a girl that Men Love, and Women like to be loved, she pondered this for a while and then said, "Yes, I think you are right".

I have just had an experience backing up my theory to the extreme which has put me off dating altogether so please excuse my negativity, I know not all Women are like this but it does seem hard meeting one who isn't.

Men do the loving, thats why they stare at and long for a woman in a way that women cannot understand and therefore find gross.
If a man happens to get a woman interested, then he has to prove he loves her, buying her presents, paying for meals, telling her how lovely she is, being interested in the things she is interested in.
The woman then falls for the love the man has shown her rather than the actual man himself, this can be shown by as soon as the initial hard work by the man fades to any degree, the woman says, "you dont Love me anymore".

It seems to me relationships are about pleasing the woman, sod what the man wants.

you might be true to a degree

but i know how it is to madly long for someone, and i didn't need to stare at his body to feel that

i think it's logical to assume some simply stare because they want to do it and fantasize about it, not because their love is so abundant!

maybe love is a different concept for us
in my humble opinion what you talk of is not love.
what you talk of is a guy wanting to get to a girl and mistaking physical attraction for love, then enchanting the girl with those actions which as you said, will later diminish and prove that he was faking something

And what you say is also often true, but not exclusively.
Men want to fall in Love and they want to be loved for who they are.
Yes, it is important to men that Women by desirable to look at, but thats the case if they purely want sex or if they want Love.
Men find Womens faces just as attractive and desirable as their bodies, that is why Women wear makeup.
But men often feel they are not loved for themselves, but for what they do for the Women and how they make the Women feel about themselves.
Why is it for instance rich men will go for a pretty but poor girl, but rich and powerful Women rarely marry below their perceived status?
Why don't Women pursue men with endless gifts in this age of sexual equality?
Why do Women complain that men are obsessed with visual stimuli but in a relationship the Women always fishes for compliments regarding their appearance and woe betide any man who tells his wife she is unattractive but that he loves her for her personality!

Both sides are equally bad generally, happy are they of both sexes who can meet the rare person who is genuine.

My perspective is I want to be loved for who I am, and would want to find someone I love for who they are...I wouldn't want a guy to put on an act or try to impress with excessive compliments, gifts and essentially trying to keep me 'happy' via materialistic things and trying to stroke my ego or whatever. If I was in a relationship I would want to pay for going out sometimes, have them pay sometimes or sometimes maybe go in together to be more cost effective. I think both people should be putting all they can into the relationship, what you describe sounds very one sided. Unfortunately I do not doubt a lot of relationships are like that....that probably contributes to why break ups and divorces are abundant.

Also I would not want them to become interested i things I like, just to satisfy me....I prefer if we just happen to have a common interest that we are both actually passionate about. I mean it would not bother me if I was with someone and they got interested in an interest of mine and realized its something they enjoy to. But if someone was interested in me and started listening to metal and grab a couple vinyls just because I do and it's what I am into but don't genuinely appreciate it themselves...that's just not the same as actually sharing a passion in an interest so admittedly it would be a turn of if they aren't actually into it.

Admittedly I am a female and much of the time I don't get other females.

*edit fixed my butchering of the english language in my post...

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 05 Nov 2014, 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You are exactly the sort of Woman men would Love to find.

I wonder if it is because you are an Aspie?, maybe have more of the male way of thinking?

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,

Seems to me that Men would like to meet female Martians and Women would like to meet male Cytherean's.

Every woman who has ever climbed down off of a pedestal proves you wrong.

I think it has some to do with social conditioning....like girls being encouraged to essentially be full of themselves and thus want guys who are obsessed enough to go way out of their way to impress the girl to get into a relationship. I mean obviously there are females that aren't like that...I think having aspergers and being female has some to do with it since due to not fitting in I wasn't as prone to social conditioning.

Interestingly enough though it seems there are guys that just want to get laid, but expect the chick to put most effort into meeting up and such...unfortunately I had a relationship like that, but fell for the whole 'oh I am too busy/tired/sprained my ankle' excuses he made every time I wanted to go out and do something together aside from go to his house and do intimate things. So all this certianly varies but it seems like the 'culture' if you call it that in the U.S and maybe other places sort of encourages that sort of behavior or the idea that the guy's supposed to always initiate, pay for going out and have a car to drive said female around and always splurge on some expensive gift or over-priced flowers for any and all occasions where gift giving could be appropriate.