How to get over a special interest with a person.

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Butterfiend
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31 Oct 2014, 10:13 am

I currently have a deep obsession with a female friend of mine. We went out a couple times and it got to the point where I realized she wasn't that into me(they never are :cry: ). But I still think about ALL the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just think about her, her interests, her family, her life and what I could have done better. I feel like there's an alternate universe out there somewhere where we're in a happy relationship because I'm not such an idiot. It's been almost two months now, and I don't want to obsess over her anymore, but I can't stop thinking about her. Is it possible she became my new special interest? I've heard of aspies doing that and it having bad repercussions. How do I stop this?


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rdos
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31 Oct 2014, 10:25 am

Butterfiend wrote:
I currently have a deep obsession with a female friend of mine. We went out a couple times and it got to the point where I realized she wasn't that into me(they never are :cry: ). But I still think about ALL the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just think about her, her interests, her family, her life and what I could have done better. I feel like there's an alternate universe out there somewhere where we're in a happy relationship because I'm not such an idiot. It's been almost two months now, and I don't want to obsess over her anymore, but I can't stop thinking about her. Is it possible she became my new special interest? I've heard of aspies doing that and it having bad repercussions. How do I stop this?


It depends. I more or less listed the options here:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6313907.html#6313907

In short, if you are too involved, or continue to meet her regularly, these kind of things can more or less go on forever. In that case, your best option might be to move her to an "imaginary gf" if you are able to do that.



Butterfiend
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31 Oct 2014, 10:41 am

rdos wrote:
Butterfiend wrote:
I currently have a deep obsession with a female friend of mine. We went out a couple times and it got to the point where I realized she wasn't that into me(they never are :cry: ). But I still think about ALL the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just think about her, her interests, her family, her life and what I could have done better. I feel like there's an alternate universe out there somewhere where we're in a happy relationship because I'm not such an idiot. It's been almost two months now, and I don't want to obsess over her anymore, but I can't stop thinking about her. Is it possible she became my new special interest? I've heard of aspies doing that and it having bad repercussions. How do I stop this?


It depends. I more or less listed the options here:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6313907.html#6313907

In short, if you are too involved, or continue to meet her regularly, these kind of things can more or less go on forever. In that case, your best option might be to move her to an "imaginary gf" if you are able to do that.


"Imaginary gf"? That's sounds a little unhealthy....


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 61 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

AQ Score:44

Feel free to PM me for any reason at all. I like to talk to people online.

"I do not know what I am, and soon it may not matter." -Mewtwo.

"Time passes, people move. Like a river’s flow, it never ends." - Sheik

"I'm not popular enough to be different." -Homer Simpson


The_Face_of_Boo
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31 Oct 2014, 11:13 am

Butterfiend wrote:
rdos wrote:
Butterfiend wrote:
I currently have a deep obsession with a female friend of mine. We went out a couple times and it got to the point where I realized she wasn't that into me(they never are :cry: ). But I still think about ALL the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just think about her, her interests, her family, her life and what I could have done better. I feel like there's an alternate universe out there somewhere where we're in a happy relationship because I'm not such an idiot. It's been almost two months now, and I don't want to obsess over her anymore, but I can't stop thinking about her. Is it possible she became my new special interest? I've heard of aspies doing that and it having bad repercussions. How do I stop this?


It depends. I more or less listed the options here:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6313907.html#6313907

In short, if you are too involved, or continue to meet her regularly, these kind of things can more or less go on forever. In that case, your best option might be to move her to an "imaginary gf" if you are able to do that.


"Imaginary gf"? That's sounds a little unhealthy....


I am picturing funny stuff in a M-W-ImaginaryW threesome scene.



nick007
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31 Oct 2014, 2:24 pm

It's possible she became your special interest. The only way I got over a girl being my special intrest was by another girl taking her place till I got my OCD treated by medication.


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hale_bopp
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31 Oct 2014, 2:55 pm

Time and distance.

It's also good if you can recognise these when they are starting. That way you can try to stop them forming. You have to take control over your mind and stop fantasising and bring yourself back to the real world.

I for one know that obsessions with people can snowball into something terrible if you simply don't take control of your thoughts.



elkclan
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01 Nov 2014, 5:22 am

Well, if you're anything like my husband, marriage, parenting and the stress of everyday life caused me to stop being one of his special interests. Worked like a charm!



rdos
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01 Nov 2014, 5:37 am

elkclan wrote:
Well, if you're anything like my husband, marriage, parenting and the stress of everyday life caused me to stop being one of his special interests. Worked like a charm!


:D

By making him your husband you effectively left the obsessive phase of it. :wink: