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freebird1987
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21 Nov 2014, 7:28 pm

My step-mom recently told me that I need to go out and socialize more whenever I have the opportunity. She said that I hardly interact with anyone at work, which is totally not true. I work an 8-hour job and always talk with people for those 8 hours. It's part of my job. Where does she get off telling me that I don't talk to people at work? She's never seen me do my job. When I get off of work, I just want to have time to myself. I don't like crowds. They make me uncomfortable.



auntblabby
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21 Nov 2014, 8:24 pm

sounds like you and your mother need a heart-to-heart.



Andreger
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23 Nov 2014, 3:14 pm

Just like my mom says me. However I'm really not so social - at work talk only about work and after that mainly with my colleagues in startup team about that work (which is my special interest).
Maybe she's right and I need to socialize more - but goddman - HOW? Go to bar and drink there? No thanks! Go to museum/bookstore/etc? I do but that happens not as socializing but just like my solo trip to these places.



King_oni
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23 Nov 2014, 3:23 pm

If my parents told me that when I was in my teens I'd ask them for money to go drinking and partying and get totally wasted. Afterall, that's how many people "socialize".

But I suppose you can't force it. If you don't like to be around people that much is feels silly to force it. I think some parents just need to come to terms with the fact that their child is not a social butterfly... and that's perfectly fine, since it's by no means something really really exclusive.



auntblabby
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23 Nov 2014, 3:26 pm

Andreger, that was my situation exactly. I have been a hermit for several decades now, virtually or physically. the only things that ever made a dent in that situation were in 1]joining an aspie meetup group in my area, and 2]somebody else similar on WP taking a shine to me and wanting to meet me. maybe you will be able to do one or two of those things yourself?



Andreger
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23 Nov 2014, 3:54 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Andreger, that was my situation exactly. I have been a hermit for several decades now, virtually or physically. the only things that ever made a dent in that situation were in 1]joining an aspie meetup group in my area, and 2]somebody else similar on WP taking a shine to me and wanting to meet me. maybe you will be able to do one or two of those things yourself?


Thanks for advice but I'm in Russia - not sure if there is anybody on WP from here and the worst thing is that there are no support groups for aspies at all - if you have AS it considered as serious mental issue and you could in some situations be forced to move to asylum. The only good thing is that everybody don't give a damn to such rules (medics also) so you can have AS and live free but still without support groups.



auntblabby
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23 Nov 2014, 3:58 pm

wow :o I see now why you describe your location as "worst country ever." :| too bad you can't emigrate to a friendlier place?



Andreger
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23 Nov 2014, 5:13 pm

auntblabby wrote:
wow :o I see now why you describe your location as "worst country ever." :| too bad you can't emigrate to a friendlier place?


Next year I'll try to apply to college in US to have education in my special interest sphere and at the same time to start a way into society that is at least a bit more tolerate to AS. That seems the most easy way. Not sure if new Obama's visa reforms would make something less difficult (or better say I'm sure they won't) but at least it won't make things even harder :-)



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23 Nov 2014, 5:43 pm

Andreger wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
wow :o I see now why you describe your location as "worst country ever." :| too bad you can't emigrate to a friendlier place?


Next year I'll try to apply to college in US to have education in my special interest sphere and at the same time to start a way into society that is at least a bit more tolerate to AS. That seems the most easy way. Not sure if new Obama's visa reforms would make something less difficult (or better say I'm sure they won't) but at least it won't make things even harder :-)

I wish you the best of luck. :)



Andreger
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24 Nov 2014, 1:28 am

auntblabby wrote:
I wish you the best of luck. :)


Thank you! :)