asspie
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 12, 2007
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:46 pm Post subject: Calling all aspie women |
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Do you want to meet an AS boy or a NT man?
I ask this because guys with AS are extremely immature. while normal guys are socially developed |
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alexbeetle
Knight of the blackest black beetle
Joined: Mar 17, 2007
Posts: 1387
Location: beetle hole
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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I think NT men can be perpetual 'boys' also
I just want to meet someone who treats me with respect, not like a doormat or puts me down as 'stupid'
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Age1600
Bonita-Azul
Joined: Apr 23, 2007
Posts: 2432
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 2:07 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm with an NT guy, I never have met an AS guy before at all, just children, so I don't know what it would be like dating one. I sometimes wish my man had AS, he would probably understand me better, but I'm defintely happy with him. He never puts me down either, he thinks its funny, and cute if I stim or anything like that. I also had meltdowns in front of him, and usually he trys to calm me down, and understand I'm overstimulated and helps out. I also educated him on Autism so much, and told him ways he could help me if I needed it. If I become non-verbal, I also taught him sign language so he could communicate with me. So I'm actually very glad I'm with him. |
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girl7000
Majestic Eagle Owl
Joined: Mar 11, 2007
Posts: 1271
Location: Somewhere in the Atlantic
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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My bf is NT although he does have some mild AS traits.
He has mental health issues, so because of that he understands what it is like to be 'different' and to be misunderstood, which helps us to understand each other.
Also, his best friend of 16 years is an aspie, so he has a pretty good understanding of it.
Guess I've been pretty lucky really!  |
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 49
Posts: 5106
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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Most of my BF have had AS traits but some NT strengths that help compinsate for some of my problems,so it was a bit like team work.My current BF is very aspie,I think more so then I amin many ways but his OCD makes him better at paying the bills and making sure the iol gets changes in the car(and he can sometimes drive or make phone calls that I cant.)The few guys I dated,who were very social,were a nightare for me to date because my lack of desire to socialize frustrated them and caused problems in our relationship.They told me how much they liked/loved ME and then spent the remainder or the relationship trying to change me...  Now I am with someone who actually likes the "way I am" and I dont feel like a "defect".
So,As for me but it helps if that person has strengths to compinsate for your "issues" and you have strengths to compinsate for theirs....team work. 
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phenomenon
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Posts: 323
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Autistics annoy me. I'd much rather be with an understanding NT. |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 7577
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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I have to agree with alexbeetle. It wouldn't matter if they were AS or NT, because those are just labels. I would be more concerned if they were prepared to accept me. I like Krex's description of her relationship being like "teamwork." We are all works in progress. If people would accept that, we would find it easier to locate that Sig. Other.
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woodsman25
The Dude
Joined: May 19, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 2437
Location: NY
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:29 pm Post subject: |
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| indeed, i would be happy with a girl who loved me for who i was, she could be AS or NT it would not matter because I in turn would love her for who she is. Its good to have a little give and take in a relationship but if someones trying to change ya then they dont love u for who u really are. |
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Grim
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 30, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 471
Location: Brighton, East Sussex
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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| I would rather not feel the need to date anyone. I nearly got with an Aspie man, until I felt the full force of his uncontrollable temper, I have been in love with an NT man who loves me so much (sarcasum) that he is marrying someone else. I have an NT boyfriend who jokes constantly, I never know if I am supposed to believe what he is sayng or not, he also drinks too much and smokes too much weed. |
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woodsman25
The Dude
Joined: May 19, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 2437
Location: NY
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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indeed, we have such a hard time being able to judge ppl and tell ourselfs what motivates them and get an idea of what to expect. I know this will be a problem when i someday meet a girl, i just hope things work out. Ill take it slow, learn much about her and open up to her about me, and then when we r comfortable knowing each other very well we will move on to the next step in the relationship.
I wanna love her for who she is and I want her to love me for who I am, and together well give and take, and i hope to be happy and have a successful life with her someday. |
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Woman
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jun 22, 2007
Posts: 194
Location: Among the Petunas
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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| I dated an AS guy and I liked him a lot - at first. I liked his passion for things, love for his family, and his determination. What turned me off was his inconsiderate behavior around others. For example, we (him, me, and 4 of my friends) were all having dinner one night when he suddenly and abruptly got up from the table and went for a walk - in New York City. The blocks in NYC aren't small. When he didn't come back right away, we all started to panic and wonder what happened to him. He couldn't see how it was rude of him to up & leave without telling anyone where he was going. He also banged his feet up & down the stairs late at night when he visited my house., At the time I was living with my parents. |
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dawndeleon
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 14, 2007
Age: 36
Posts: 741
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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| i am married to an aspie. It took a while to figure each other out, but in many situations, we both know what the other is going through. Its not easy, but we get along pretty well as long as i can draw out what he is feeling instead of panicking and fearing the worst because i cant figure out his body language. Really, though. It doesnt matter. If an nt is patient and understanding, and vice versa, it can work. |
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zen_mistress
~*~*~*~*~*~
Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Age: 35
Posts: 6320
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:21 am Post subject: |
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I'd rather have someone with a good heart than someone who is "Socially Developed." I know a lot of NT guys, and the more "Socially Developed" they are the less likely I am to be able to relate to them. I like intelligent, funny men.
C
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zee
~~~~~~~~~
Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Posts: 1301
Location: on a cloud
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:02 am Post subject: |
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I was in a serious relationship with an Aspie guy a couple years ago, it was very unstable and chaotic. The worst thing was that I was thrust into the role of being the more mature, responsible one... which is totally against my nature!
So I guess I would have to say I prefer a NT man... If indeed I prefer a man at all... which at the moment, I don't.  |
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ping-machine
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 26, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 910
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| Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 7:09 am Post subject: Re: Calling all aspie women |
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| asspie wrote: |
I ask this because guys with AS are extremely immature. while normal guys are socially developed |
Not something that I've found myself. (Generally find that all men can be quite babyish at times.)
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