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tomart
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 11, 2007
Posts: 127
Location: southern New Jersey
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 Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Pugly wrote: | Yup, it's hard enough to know what you are socially supposed to do to be polite. Much less how to be slightly rude and make it work in your favor.
All this stuff requires a level of social awareness that just doesn't show up on the radar. |
David D defines the 4 traits of "cool":
Independent
Indifferent (don't get caught up in drama)
Funny
Socially Adjusted
So all my attempts to be "cool" were doomed from the start.
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Sit simplex stulte (Keep it simple) |
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Pugly
Man-child diligently becoming a Dude, man
Joined: Jan 10, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 2567
Location: Wisonsin
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| Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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| tomart wrote: |
David D defines the 4 traits of "cool":
Independent
Indifferent (don't get caught up in drama)
Funny
Socially Adjusted
So all my attempts to be "cool" were doomed from the start. |
I have Independent and Indifferent... well Indifferent for a while. If someone I fancy shows interest in me... it's very difficult to be restrained.
The things I want to do is what is appropriate in a long term relationship... not in the initial stages of attraction.
I can do funny if I am comfortable enough. In fact I like humor and come up with jokes all the time.. so this is eventually easy. But if I am social observation mode... I am not too clever.
Socially Adjusted... nah not really. I'll always be socially off... but that's okay because I like girls who are similar.
I think I can do okay... I just need experience. And experience is hard to come by when I don't leave the house much. I am going to make it a point to work on it this final year of my undergraduate degree.
In a way I don't want to scare off someone I like... and I guess work the "game"... but I also think that if I scare them off by just being myself... then it's not worth it in the first place.
I also have to just put the stuff that makes me interesting and attractive... out there. I am so private and internalized that it's hard to present this side of myself.
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I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
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kclark
Velociraptor
Joined: May 11, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 460
Location: NE Illinois
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| Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Couldn't have said it better Pugly. |
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Ticker
Come to the Dark Side; we have cookies...
Joined: Aug 26, 2006
Posts: 2408
Location: Cage Free at the moment
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| Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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I'm joining in a little late on this post. But I hope you guys don't try that blowing nose on napkin thing as a way to attract girls. If you have AS its fairly obvious especially for the AS guys that they are a little different or off. Someone who is already considered a bit of a weirdo cannot pull off that blowing nose trick without make themselves look even more repulsive. Women often consider nose blowing in public offense anyway.
I think women respond being treated like an equal like where you engage in normal conversations and you ask her opinion on the matter. A for instance is this neighbor guy that I wanted to hate because I hated his crude obnoxious friends. But I couldn't hate him after all because he spoke to me nicely and respected my feelings about his friends being too noisy. He even asked them to shut up for me.
For guys its an balancing act. Just act normal like you have your own life and find a way to sound like you're busy even if you aren't. Don't been obnoxious like the guy in that article. Cockiness only works for extreme charimatic NT's that are already considered hot. And don't be one of those guys that studies everything women say they like then tries to emulate it. Its the nice guy syndrome and it backfires. Women will talk to you intimately just like they do to their gay male friends, but they don't want a relationship with nice guys.
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I'm sweet on the outside and rotten within... |
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