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sabailos
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 26, 2007
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 9:19 pm Post subject: How to Help a Friend with Autism |
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Hello All,
I found this link through wikipedia and hope that some of you can give me some advice. I have friend I have known since junior high who just told me he has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism. We are both 28, so it is bit surprising to me. Looking at the list of symptoms, he matches every single one perfectly. It's funny, I always think of him as my chill out friend. We'll hang out and watch a movie, shoot pool, or play video games. He never seemed to fit in when a large group of us went out to get drunk and do the normal 20 something high jinks.
Anyway, he will start seeing a professional to help him out. As a friend, what can I do to help him? I am getting the impression that I am his only remaining friend. I can't say that I ever felt too close to this person (maybe it's the lack of empathy), but I can't turn away a friend who is need. |
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Stellian
Sea Gull
Joined: Mar 11, 2007
Posts: 207
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:43 pm Post subject: |
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At least you consider yourself his friend, that's probably the best help for anyone.
I don't know for sure how you can help him, or if he actually needs help. Sure, autism is a disability, but some "symptoms" of autism may not be a problem for him, while others probably are. What is a problem to someone may not be an issue for someone else.
For example, I have AS, and I do have a notorious impairement in communication, but it doesn't bother me and I don't feel like changing that. However, I'm hypersensitive to sound, and that's what I need help with. I have asked my only friend to avoid making loud, high-pitched or just unneeded noises.
I think the best you can do is just to ask him "how can I help you?". But you've probably done that already. So at least it would be good if you could warn him (in a friendly way) if he does something socially inappropiate, because he may not be aware of it (even after his 28 years of learning). I can't think of anything else. |
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edal
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 05, 2007
Posts: 759
Location: Gyor, Hungary
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| Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 11:43 am Post subject: |
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>>I always think of him as my chill out friend. We'll hang out and watch a movie, shoot pool, or play video games.<<
Well, there yah go!! Just keep on doing that and with a little bit of help from the professionals things will turn out just fine. Not all AS suffers are fortunate enough to have a friend like you so in case anyone else forgets to do this:
THANKS !! 
Ed Almos |
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TheZach
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 11, 2007
Posts: 445
Location: Michigan, USA
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| Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 4:23 pm Post subject: |
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| The best thing you can do is keep doing what your doing. This person obviously benifits from your friendship and it seems like you do to. Theres no need to treat him differently. |
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Prof_Pretorius
troubled Soul
Joined: Aug 21, 2006
Age: 50
Posts: 4939
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library
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| Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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Teach him how to interact with NT girls !!! This is numero uno on every ASpie guy's wish list !!!
DUH !!!
We tend to stumble around relationships with women, and it takes a very loooong time to figure out how to make it work. Take him out with you and teach, "there, ya see that one? She's givin' you the eye, she is."
Trust me, he'll be quite grateful.
_________________
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke |
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Ticker
Come to the Dark Side; we have cookies...
Joined: Aug 26, 2006
Posts: 2408
Location: Cage Free at the moment
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| Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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Sabailos you sound cool! I wish you would be my friend. I don't see any major changes you need to make in your friendship with him. Actually you should consider it a compliment that he confided his diagnosis with you as that is a BIG step for us to tell someone. I've told a few people and it backfired so I'm fearful now to let anyone know.
The best you can do is if he's interested in women introduce him to women that might go out with him. My dr told me I should have my normal friend's fix me up on dates and CHOOSE my partner since I have a history of picking abusive people. AS people sometimes just don't have the skills it takes so kinda filter out what girl might be nice to him and go on a group date like to movies or game night at your home so they can get to know each other.
Also keep doing what you are doing. That is spending time with him watching movies and such. He probably treasures you more than you can imagine because AS are generally lonely and get few social invitations to spend time with other people. Also remember to invite him with you for the holidays. Holidays are a difficult and lonely time for many of us. But like if you travel to see family on that holiday if you get back later in the evening or the next day whatever ask him if he wants to go out for dinner or order a pizza and watch movies with him.
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I'm sweet on the outside and rotten within... |
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