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edal
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 05, 2007
Posts: 759
Location: Gyor, Hungary
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 Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:08 pm Post subject: How Should An AS Sufferer Deal With A Gay Man? |
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I attend a local health club on a regular basis. 99% of the membership are hetrosexual and most of the remaining 1% behave themselves, there remains one problem.
A male gay member has decided that he likes me but he is NOT being sensible about this. He watches me change, he follows me into the bathrooms and tries to watch me shower, he watches me towel off and he tries to follow me around the gymnasium (although he's not very good so he can't keep up). Three months ago I spoke to the health club management and they pulled this guy aside for a quiet word but now things are as bad as ever.
The easiest way to deal with this is to bury my fist in his face. This will probably pursuade him that I'm not interested but it will also get me banned. I might also get in trouble with the police. I'm therefore looking for sensible suggestions as to how I can deal with this situation.
Ed Almos
P.S. Quite how he latched on to me is a mystery. I'm fifty, slightly overweight and my remaining hair is going gray, I'm also hetrosexual. I can think of at least two homosexual members who would make far better targets of his affection (and they behave themselves). |
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username88
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 10, 2007
Posts: 1820
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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Personally, I would go along with it and pretend not to mind, because I dont think its really something to get that worried about.
Its not like your sleeping with him or anything. |
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Hadron
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 08, 2007
Posts: 957
Location: IntensitySquared or Zomg
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:15 pm Post subject: Re: How Should An AS Sufferer Deal With A Gay Man? |
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| edal wrote: | I attend a local health club on a regular basis. 99% of the membership are hetrosexual and most of the remaining 1% behave themselves, there remains one problem.
A male gay member has decided that he likes me but he is NOT being sensible about this. He watches me change, he follows me into the bathrooms and tries to watch me shower, he watches me towel off and he tries to follow me around the gymnasium (although he's not very good so he can't keep up). Three months ago I spoke to the health club management and they pulled this guy aside for a quiet word but now things are as bad as ever.
The easiest way to deal with this is to bury my fist in his face. This will probably pursuade him that I'm not interested but it will also get me banned. I might also get in trouble with the police. I'm therefore looking for sensible suggestions as to how I can deal with this situation.
Ed Almos
P.S. Quite how he latched on to me is a mystery. I'm fifty, slightly overweight and my remaining hair is going gray, I'm also hetrosexual. I can think of at least two homosexual members who would make far better targets of his affection (and they behave themselves). |
Call PC Plod and say your being harrassed by a homosexual. |
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Fedaykin
Deinonychus
Joined: May 22, 2007
Posts: 384
Location: Sundsvall, Sweden
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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| It definitely sounds like sexual harassment laws should apply and you could get him charged on that. I assume they're not only for women? |
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edal
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 05, 2007
Posts: 759
Location: Gyor, Hungary
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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| username88 wrote: | Personally, I would go along with it and pretend not to mind, because I dont think its really something to get that worried about.
Its not like your sleeping with him or anything. |
Read my post again. The guy hangs around the changing room and bathroom on purpose so that he can see me naked, he then sits and watches.
This is beyond annoying.
Ed Almos |
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snake321
phoenix
Joined: Mar 26, 2006
Age: 29
Posts: 3250
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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Better just take his offer, or you'd be politically incorrect and that would make you homophoebic 
No I just had to rant at the pc idiots. But honestly, I know what your saying though. I've dealt with gays who were like that, to me that is the difference between a homosexual and a fag, a homosexual can respect that your heterosexual and doesn't act as if all hetero's are closet cases. A fag does, and will not accept that your heterosexual. I have no issue with homosexuals, in fact I've had several friends who were homosexual, I just don't like fags.
They way I've always did it was street justice, if he can't respect your boundaries, he can respect a fist to the nose. But I understand what your saying though, being in a public facility or group and having to abide by their rules and what not. If worse comes to worse, call the police on him for harassment. |
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username88
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 10, 2007
Posts: 1820
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:22 pm Post subject: |
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Oh sh** nevermind, I always skim through posts without bothering to read them carefully, maybe I should for now on  |
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TheMachine1
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Joined: Jun 12, 2006
Posts: 9092
Location: 9099 will be my last post...what the hell 9011 will be.
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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| I think alot people with AS give confusing signals to homosexuals making their gaydar detector's beep . Even if you explained to him you were not gay he might still feel your in denial. He might have got men who resisted more to go on dates in the past. |
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username88
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 10, 2007
Posts: 1820
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:31 pm Post subject: |
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| TheMachine1 wrote: | | I think alot people with AS give confusing signals to homosexuals making their gaydar detector's beep . Even if you explained to him you were not gay he might still feel your in denial. He might have got men who resisted more to go on dates in the past. |
This guy named Dave tried pulling that sh** with me in highschool, he did it to just about every guy he met but people still liked him. I guess he thought he had to be gay to be cool or something |
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TheMachine1
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Joined: Jun 12, 2006
Posts: 9092
Location: 9099 will be my last post...what the hell 9011 will be.
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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| snake321 wrote: | A fag does, and will not accept that your heterosexual. I have no issue with homosexuals, in fact I've had several friends who were homosexual, I just don't like fags.
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Gaydar is often wrong in the case of people with AS but its rarely wrong when that person also "protest too much" about not being gay by using derogatory language. |
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Wolfpup
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 1576
Location: Central Illinois, USA
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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I guess just complain to the people there again or tell him to stop if you're comfortable doing that (I'm not comfortable with confrontation at all). Obviously don't do ANYTHING physical or you'll get in trouble, and could even be accused of committing a hate crime or something like this.
And this guy doing this has nothing to do with him being gay (other than that his target is a man rather than a woman). He's just a creep IMO. |
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Aspie1
Overman
Joined: Mar 08, 2005
Posts: 2515
Location: United States
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Don't retaliate physically. You will get in trouble as a result, or worse, get charged with a hate crime. Do the right thing: complain to the management or the security. Tell them exactly what you told us, and give them a detailed description of the guy. Don't mention him being gay, just describe what he does every time he sees you. Remember: gay or not, what he's doing is wrong, and he needs to get in trouble for it. If he get in trouble, and tries to retaliate against you outside the gym (such as stalk you in the parking lot or something), go to the police. Again, what he's doing is wrong! Don't forget it even for a second. |
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Zsazsa
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 20, 2007
Posts: 700
Location: Upstate New York, USA
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:23 pm Post subject: Dealing with a homosexual male |
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If this homosexual male continues to make unwanted sexual advances, and this includes voyerism, I would insist on
management of the health club on doing something. No one needs to put up with sexual harassment. If the health club doesn't
remedy the situation, you can file sexual harassment charges against him and the health club facility. Or you can simply join
another health club. |
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edal
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 05, 2007
Posts: 759
Location: Gyor, Hungary
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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Board members should note that I do not live in the USA or the UK, I live in Hungary. Any legal advice is therefore of questionable value as I haven't checked the Hungarian Legal Code on this issue.
Ed Almos |
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TheMachine1
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Joined: Jun 12, 2006
Posts: 9092
Location: 9099 will be my last post...what the hell 9011 will be.
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| Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 2:10 pm Post subject: |
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| edal wrote: | Board members should note that I do not live in the USA or the UK, I live in Hungary. Any legal advice is therefore of questionable value as I haven't checked the Hungarian Legal Code on this issue.
Ed Almos |
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2872/is_2_26/ai_62140815
| Quote: | | The situation is similar in Hungary. 'Sexuality was taboo in Hungary during socialism,' said Judit Sandor, the head of the gender studies department at the Central European University in Budapest. 'People don't feel comfortable interpreting these problems. And that includes judges, who are generally unfavorable to women.' Very few women in Hungary dare to go public with their reports of harassment, she said, because they fear a backlash from the society. |
Your going to have to deal with it with out the goverment.
Interesting Hungary is very progressive in some ways.
http://www.ilga.info/Information/Legal_survey/europe/hungary.htm
| Quote: | ‘HUNGARY RECOGNISES COMMON-LAW GAY MARRIAGE: "Hungary legalized common-law gay marriage May 21 [1996]. Gay couples who live together and have sex will have all the rights of heterosexual spouses—including to inheritance and pensions—but will not be allowed to adopt children. Parliament voted 207-73 in favor of the change, heeding a March 1995 Constitutional Court ruling that mandated legalization of same-sex common-law marriage within one year. The court ruling had been completely unexpected and was not the result of any campaigning by gay groups.
Geza Juhasz of the gay group Rainbow told Reuters: "We welcome the fact that parliament passed this law but I don’t think this proves that most MPs are more enlightened. The law was ... imposed on parliament by the Constitutional Court." (RW/1799) |
So do not expect the police to support you if you use force. |
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