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autisticstar
Blue Jay
Joined: Jul 31, 2007
Posts: 99
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 Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:51 pm Post subject: Dating after age 35. |
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| I am starting to feel really discouraged. I am 37 years old and I have never been married before and have had a series of relationships that went straight down the toilet. I haven't dated anyone in two years. It seems like all of the men I have met are either gay, married, or just way too young for me. I do go out and do things that interest me but nothing I have tried has worked. I just feel like giving up on the idea that there is some "Mr. Right" out there for me. I tried posting a profile on wrong planet and I got one response from a man who lives on the other side of the country. We e-mailed and talked on the phone for about two months and then all of a sudden he stopped returning my calls and e-mails. I guess it wasn't too practical since it was extremely long distance. I'm curious to know if there is anyone here who found a husband or serious relationship with a man after the age of 35. Any advice for dating over the age of 35? |
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Ticker
Come to the Dark Side; we have cookies...
Joined: Aug 26, 2006
Posts: 2408
Location: Cage Free at the moment
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| Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:04 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry no advice here. I'm 38 and haven't dated in 4 years. Everyone I've dated has been abusive or a loser. I no longer seek anyone since the last night person I pursued just played games with me, leading me on then not returning calls. I attract waiters in local restaurants for some reason and the weirdo at my church, but they are all 15 years or more younger than me.
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I'm sweet on the outside and rotten within... |
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Prof_Pretorius
troubled Soul
Joined: Aug 21, 2006
Age: 50
Posts: 4939
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library
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| Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:01 pm Post subject: |
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Weeeeeeelllll, I was 33 when I got married for the once and only time. That was 17 years ago. Looking back, it was a minor miracle that we met and kept dating. I do know that some men (NT's) are suspicious that a woman in her late thirties is only looking for a man so she can have children. These blokes are all divorced with support payments from their 1st (or 2nd) marriage. AND they aren't about to do that again...
By the by, my wife and I met in Church!! So it's true that if you get out and about where there are men who share your interests, you might meet a nice one.
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I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke |
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criss
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Age: 43
Posts: 324
Location: London
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| Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Autisticstar star, I feel very much the same as you. I am a 41 year old man and when I parted from the mother of my little boy 7 years ago have found it very difficult to meet women. i think this is because I am rather fussy though as I have come into lots of contact with women through church and recovery groups.
It's only been weeks since my diagnoses and subsequently I am for the 1st time meeting people in the spectrum and I do find the women with AS kind hearted and gentle and these qualities above all else I value the most. So as much as I am very happy in myself being single, I feel it most likely that I would find my 'soul mate' from someone within the spectrum.
Much peace to you autisticstar
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"We are here on earth for a little space to learn to bear the beams of love." (William Blake)
Thank God for science, but feed me poetry please, as I am one that desires the meal & not the menu. (My own)
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Beenthere
10 Miles South of Sanity
Joined: Dec 30, 2005
Age: 41
Posts: 2121
Location: Pa.
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| Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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Dating? What's that? 
Seriously...I hated it when I was younger and now at 40 I don't really have a clue how to go about it again...and I don't know that I really care to.
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*Normal* is just a setting on the dryer. |
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pandabear
Fleeting Body
Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Age: 49
Posts: 2217
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| Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 11:17 am Post subject: |
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My mother married my father when she was 39 and he was 49. I was born in 1959, when she was 45. This was the first and only marriage for both. I think that advanced ages for first marriages are a lot less uncommon these days. And, especially with the divorce rate being what it is today, there are a lot more people in your age category who would be available.
My wife's sister is 39. She married a man at least five years younger last year. She seems to have cancer, and will probably not succeed in having a family.
It is just a matter of making up your mind as to exactly what you want to do, and then going ahead and doing it.  |
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RainSong
The Argumentive Lunatic
Joined: May 02, 2006
Posts: 4205
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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I'm sure it possible; my aunt had a serious relationship at the age of 58. Age is a misconception; I hope it goes well for you.
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“I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud.” - C.G.Jung |
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laplantain
Deinonychus
Joined: May 24, 2005
Posts: 301
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:18 am Post subject: |
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I met my husband when I was 35 and he was 45, and we got married like 3 yrs later. We had a child immediately.
It's been a long, long road for us. We are both seriously late bloomers, so we started very, very late.
My advice to you would be:
1) Play tennis! If you are an aspie, it is a great way to meet people and have an immediate connection. It's a very, very social sport, especially if you play doubles. When I met my husband, I was dating a few guys I had met through tennis at the same time.
2) Do not waste time with wishy-washy relationships that aren't working for YOU. When I hit 35, I was like on a mission. I decided to get rid of any guy that had had 3 strikes against him. I actually broke up with my husband a few times, but each time he kept coming back new and improved. The last time I broke up with him, he came over with an engagement ring, begging me to take him back! |
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BazzaMcKenzie
Wild colonial man
Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Posts: 3702
Location: the Antipodes
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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| laplantain wrote: | | 1) Play tennis! If you are an aspie, it is a great way to meet people and have an immediate connection. It's a very, very social sport, |
no, take up shotgun shooting (skeet or sporting clays). Its very social and you will meet a lot of guys (hardly any female competition) |
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Blue
Butterfly
Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 13
Location: England
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:12 am Post subject: |
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I often wonder about the same thing.
I'm nearly 35 and I've been single for 7yrs.
I've just come to the conclusion that I'll be on my own for ever. |
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Asparval
The Big Chicken
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Posts: 1175
Location: UK
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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I was on my own for about two and a half years after my wife left me.
I've never had the skills to be able to initiate relationships in the real world but now, at 49, I am just learning how to do it online through a dating site.
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bwwaak buc buc buc buc |
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fivecents
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 23, 2007
Posts: 362
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Men in our age bracket are either happily married soon to be divorced, or never married for a reason. Sorry, but save yourself for later when the men that are worth it are 55 and divorced. Or, find someone (ha) in our bracket who concentrated on his career and is "ready". In the meantime, please yourself... |
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