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FarmerJim
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 18, 2009
Age: 31
Posts: 21
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 Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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| This my third marriage to my wife of 2 and half years. We have no children as she has past the age of child bearing however I have 4 children from my first marriage and perhaps a bastard from my time in Mexico |
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CRD
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 07, 2009
Age: 33
Posts: 704
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| Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:25 am Post subject: |
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| Weddings are blow way out of proportion now. But have to say if you ever want to see something on the level of jerry springer from the 90s check out bridezellas. It's so bad I use it a teaching tool with my kids a this is not how to act and we talk about how they could have done things better. lol I was married by a justic of the peace in her backyard ,wearing a sundress followed by homemade spread. I've been married for almost 13 years and I'm still happy so it seemed to take better the 10k my cousain spent on he wedding for a marraige that lasted less then a year. |
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Skilpadde
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 08, 2008
Posts: 740
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 4:14 am Post subject: |
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There’s no reason for getting married. Will you love the guy more if an official paper show that you’re an item? Will you be happier or more secure about his loyalty? If you need that stamp of approval you’re probably doomed already. And what’s the BS about wedding days being the happiest or most important day in a woman’s life? Yeah right! ”Yay, this is the last free day of my life! From now on I’ll get a raw deal even at home! Happy happy day!” I have heard the claim in several TV series that girls plan their wedding day from they’re 6-12 years. I don’t know how other girls think but I haven’t planned or dreamed about it once.
I don’t even get why anyone would wish to live together. Why opt to lose your freedom? |
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tweety_fan
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 2761
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number5
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 16, 2009
Posts: 360
Location: central NY
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:25 am Post subject: |
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| I wonder if the likelihood of divorce is greater with a more elaborate and expensive a wedding. My husband and I spent $500 and it truly was the best day of my life. We've been together for 12 years now and coudn't be happier. We were engaged for a long time because neither one of us really wanted anything to do with a big and formal affair, then we finally came to the realization that we didn't have to have one. Think outside of the box and follow what makes you happy. Funny how our friends and family thought we were being rediculous, and now many of them have been divorced. A wedding should be about a marriage, not centerpieces and table linens. |
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FieryGatoh
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 22, 2007
Posts: 608
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:51 am Post subject: |
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| I can understand why getting marriage is nice (commitment, Safety net for the future) but I don't understand why people want them to be so big and bright and fancy. Surely it doesn't change how you feel if you just have a small private ceremony? |
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activebutodd
Phoenix
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Joined: May 30, 2009
Posts: 807
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:22 am Post subject: |
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| Yes, overdone affairs seems to be more about 'getting married' than being married. I don't think I'll get married, but I'd prefer something reasonable rather than OTT, and save the money for my separate bank account and to pay setting up the house. |
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Psygirl6
Toucan
Joined: Mar 28, 2009
Age: 31
Posts: 262
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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| I am never getting married. i always see those wedding shows and to me the weddings are more about style and substance and less about the significance of the actual relationship. They spend lots of money on a dress to wear only one day, people come and give them gifts(which is okay because they need things), and they spend more money than the house they would be living in. Personally, if I had to get married, i rather spend the big money on living in a nice house for the rest of my life, rather than just one day of festivities that would have a 50/50 of being gone in a divorce. At least if you spend it on the house and got a divorce, you can keep your money when and if you keep the house. The wedding, you can not get paid back for. |
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Kasanova
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 24, 2009
Age: 21
Posts: 89
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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| FarmerJim wrote: | | This my third marriage to my wife of 2 and half years. We have no children as she has past the age of child bearing however I have 4 children from my first marriage and perhaps a bastard from my time in Mexico |
Do you keep in contact with your other children? |
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sartresue
Radical Aspergian
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Posts: 5207
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
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| Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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No big deal topic
A waste of time and money. Absolute crap.
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Radical Aspergian
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raisedbyignorance
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 29, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 617
Location: Indianapolis
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| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think I can deal with being at my friends' weddings given that they're all NTs with their own strange ideals, concepts about marriage. I've decided that I would only attend family weddings out of obligation and only if I don't have to play any part. I locked my knees too much when I was a bridesmaid at my uncle's wedding and nearly passed out.
As for myself, I would have to pass on it no matter how tempting. I enjoy watching wedding videos or flicks instead of being in them myself because you know that's far from the realities of what an actual wedding would demand both financially, emotionally, and psychologically |
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CaroleTucson
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 06, 2009
Age: 45
Posts: 152
Location: Tucson, AZ
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| Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:26 am Post subject: |
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I love weddings. I loved my own wedding. I was so emotional that I could barely say my vows. The fact that my marriage ended does not change that in the least.
Getting married or not is certainly a personal choice. If you feel that there's "no reason to get married", then there isn't. Even though the chances of me marrying again are probably close to zero, I have great respect for marriage and what it stands for. The argument that "it will probably end anyway" is not really the point. Most human endeavors, including life itself, will eventually "end anyway". That's not a reason to avoid them.
The magic of life is in its richness along the way, not in the certainty of its "success". The exact meaning of "richness" is different for AS people than for others, but that doesn't change the idea. |
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YoshiPikachu
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 31, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 158
Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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When and if I get married I want to have a privet wedding. I don't want to have a big wedding with lots of people, and it's a lot of money other wise.
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Without love, we would be nothing. |
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CleverKitten
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 07, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 931
Location: Norfolk, Virginia, USA
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| Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:20 am Post subject: |
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| Spokane_Girl wrote: |
The point of getting married is you get a tax break. |
This!  My fiance and I decided that we want to get married sooner than we originally planned for that exact reason. Mind you, we didn't choose to get married solely for tax purposes. We are getting married because we love each other, and want to spend the rest of our lives together. We want to make it official. Tax breaks were not even in our minds at that moment of proposal.
But the more we thought about it, the better the idea of moving up the wedding date sounded. We are struggling financially and we could use a few extra benefits to our advantage.
There would be larger tax returns and more generous student loans for college. Plus, it would be a benefit when we are searching for a new apartment or job, because we would be seen as more "stable." We could find employment and housing more easily, and we would be charged lower rent than unmarried couples. (That is technically discrimination, and its illegal for the employers and landlords to do that, but I know they do and it probably won't change any time soon.)
I finally got him to agree that a big fancy wedding is undesirable. In fact, I think we might be able to have a wedding and reception for less than $2000. (Or even less than $1000!)
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