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| have you ever been told you don't have asperger's |
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| no |
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| Total Votes : 12 |
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crysthewolf
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 17, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 19
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 Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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| This may be off topic, but what is ToM? The only thing I pulled up is "Theory of Mind" but that's not a thing you "have", that's a theory about Autism, so I'm confused. |
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crysthewolf
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 17, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:53 pm Post subject: Re: so my counselor says i don't have aspergers... |
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| Greentea wrote: | | sugarmama wrote: | That frustrates me when (and this seems to have gone on ALL MY LIFE)
I tell someone something about MYSELF, and they argue with me that i'm wrong and they know more about me than i do... |
Well, you went to ask for HER opinion, not for YOURS. If you know better about you than anyone else does, then no need to go to her or anyone, right? |
I'd argue that most people know themselves better than someone outside of them would, but that doesn't negate the usefulness of psychology. You go to a psychologist to get advice on what's going on in your head, not to tell them what's going on in your head and have them respond, "No it isn't." |
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Aoi
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 17, 2009
Posts: 606
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| Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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Does the diagnostic label matter so much? My latest neurologist prefers not to give the diagnosis, except for insurance/educational or other issues where having the "official" diagnosis makes a difference. He explained that (in the U.S.) *not* having an official diagnosis on paper, on file with your insurance company, and in the bowels of the MIB (Medical Information Bureau) is probably better for me in the long run, though I am officially diagnosed with AS.
Therapists have always been a problem for me. I never connect with them, and they notice this, and interpret it based on the treatment modality/model they were trained under. They identify my sensory issues immediately, but beyond that are generally befuddled.
I haven't been to a therapist for over a year now because I see no value in the process. What are your goals in therapy? What do you want to get out of it? |
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mikegee
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 28, 2006
Posts: 171
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| Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| crysthewolf wrote: | I agree with the folks who suggest looking for a diagnosis elsewhere. And if you don't feel like you can talk to your therapist about things and she doesn't seem to understand her, I would suggest finding another therapist.
An example of a good therapist:
I have been seeing a psychologist for the past few months and she does not specialize in Autism or Asperger Syndrome. When I got to searching out some things on Asperger Syndrome, I started wondering if I might have it. I brought the topic up to her, and her first response was "Well, I'm not sure, because you can be pretty social. Then again, it's possible you could have adapted to your life over time and that your neurology and way of thinking still point to Asperger Syndrome. What makes you think you have it?" She then suggested, since she is NOT an Autism professional, that we seek an official diagnosis from someone who is trained in the field.
A good psychologist knows their limitations and will not brush off your concerns blithely. You deserve a good psychologist that you can trust. |
this is a good example of an intelligent, competent psychologist not jumping to premature conclusions. I'd venture to think that many therapists read an article or two on aspergers, go to youtube, watch a couple of asperger videos, and then assume they know enough about the condition to make an accurate assessment, which is a joke.
I'm undiagnosed, but if one lives in the nt world their whole lives undiagnosed, has parents whom themselves never bothered to look into why we all seemed a bit different then your average person, makes due in life, adjusts and thrives, and then years later, learns about aspergers, and has that "aha!" moment, well, this doesn't mean that i'm going to start acting differently, cease being who i am today.
many people with mild aspergers get along just fine, mild symptoms, a bit eccentric, oblivious to aspergers, or not.
a coworker once questioned me for my thinking that i had mild aspergers, he said " i just dont see it". of course not, its not something you can see. its something one experiences, and if youre not experiencing it, you wouldnt understand.
he said "maybe it was the drugs in high school" i said, ok, so how do you explain my parents have similar traits yet theyve never done drugs in their whole life.
most symptoms are not visible. someone with good aclimation and assimulation to the nt world will adapt well and blend in so well that of course they appear more nt than aspie.
there's so many subtleties to this its just amazing...
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activebutodd
Phoenix
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Joined: May 30, 2009
Posts: 807
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| Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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It sounds like a very narrow rigid criteria she's applying to you (OP), is this counsellor a ASD specialist? There's an autism spectrum, and even one group such as aspies come in many different kinds.
I was diagnosed autistic as a child and exhibited severe traits, now I would more accurately be an aspie and have become a chameleon to the point where people who don't know about autism/aspergers say 'no you're not.' What are they expecting, Rainman?  I'm already atypical because I'm female.
Anyways, if you don't agree and think there's a possibility that you may be aspergers, you have the right to a second opinion. You may feel it's a label, or you may take comfort in knowing it's not just you and gain greater understanding about yourself from the diagnosis.
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mikegee
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 28, 2006
Posts: 171
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| Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 3:05 pm Post subject: Re: so my counselor says i don't have aspergers... |
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| sugarmama wrote: | she said she doesn't feel i have aspergers because:
i have a friend (loose statement).. (and apies don't have friends) my answer: This is BS. people with AS have friends, and people without AS dont have friends.
i'm not thoroughly obsessed with one topic.. (relational obsession count?) my answer: relationship obsession DEFINiTELY counts. if anything confounds us most, its relationships... this results in an obsession to "make it right" (good luck with that)
and typically (she said) asperger people can logically argue out of something they don't want to do..
(just because i say, oh ah ha, when she points out something)
my answer: shes not taking into account the naivety factor, where we are inclined to believe what someone tells us, wanting to believe someone would be honest with us, wants to try and fit in and ends up making poor decisions, and tries to fit in to avoid being bullied. i never ever heard of this before, what your therapist said; TOTALLY RIDICULOUS!!!
maybe she thinks i'm not brilliant enough
my answer: ahhh, so she went to youtube, saw a few 5 minute videos, and determined people with aspergers are these brainy nerdy types; please...
how many of you know you're smarter or don't really live up to your full potential or maybe have given up on interests out of sheer depression?
say "I"
my answer I!
I haven't talked to her alot but my "friend" is kinda like my mom and gives me gas money and food when me or my children need anything,
on a social level it's ok but i don't logically take things in (i feel) like everyone else...
it's like a hang around, take, and leave without much emotional attachment, come and go, you know
i've never felt (mature enough for my age) like others my age, somewhat out of the loop durring social engagements
i've always stood out as being different.. inside and out
i was always an anxious wreck in school and would typically stick to anyone i felt safe with, not talking too much
in my rebellious teen years i would sit and just watch everyone..
i feel absolutely comfortable when hanging out with friends at a bar not talking or saying anything other than
"hey, did you hear i got a calgran and talk about what i've been up to and how i'm trying to be good these days"
i have a lot of acquaintances like from jobs then so-called friends
anything i'm actually good at or achieve has stemmed from an obsession..
serious note taking, talk about my interest with others, sound like i know what i'm talking about,
obsession..
i got my feelings hurt and had to talk myself through it because my lab partner
last semester got along better with another girl in my class and they would talk through the whole
movie and you won't catch me talking to someone like that though i would like to, it just doesn't happen for me,
and they were making plans to hang out
me and her just got along civilay, almost mechanically or cordially
and i was really interested in her being a friend..
in my classes in college
my teachers could vouch i take information in "differently"
and really know how to open up discussion for everyone else afraid to ask questions..
i can put a different spin on things i'm interested in..
i don't feel like my counselor really "listens" to me and i don't feel
comfortable telling her all my anxieties now that we've develped somewhat of a rapport
i feel like i tell her what i should...
she said i have situational depression...
for what 31 years??? my dad use to say i was going to be a lawyer because i could make anything sound like logic and
i was always right and in grade school and highschool i would always know these random facts.. he died when i was 11
i think the asperger's quiz's are stupid and don't ask the right questions
and i really feel i have it to some degree
so how do i go about taking this counselor's advice???
Is it possible i have aspergers and situational depression??
That frustrates me when (and this seems to have gone on ALL MY LIFE)
I tell someone something about MYSELF, and they argue with me that i'm wrong and they know more about me than i do...
What gives? |
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Shebakoby
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 06, 2009
Age: 36
Posts: 648
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| Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 12:25 am Post subject: |
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| counsellors can't diagnose *&^%. You need a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist who is trained to look for Asperger's. |
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peterd
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 26, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 443
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| Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:36 am Post subject: |
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Theory of mind is a label applied to a belief that forms in the minds of infant normals, built on the preconscious stimulus - response loop (monkey see, monkey do). The problem for aspies is finding a practitioner who has some awareness both of the nature of the thing and of what's different in aspies that they don't.
Most practitioners don't have either of those, in my experience. They're learning too, it's just that the system lets them take your money for teaching them. |
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Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 47
Posts: 5490
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 2:14 pm Post subject: |
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So true and well said, peterd, everywhere I go for help they end up thanking me for teaching them about AS and they can't help me.
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So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur. |
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MudandStars
Blue Jay
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Posts: 97
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:56 am Post subject: |
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I went to a psychologist for diagnosis and they didn't even really consider the idea because I had a diagnosis which comes out of DSM-IV. I only went there twice.
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“Two men looked through prison bars; one saw mud and the other stars.” Frederick Langbridge |
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LipstickKiller
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 193
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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| On the topic of empathy and ToM, I have both and I have Asperger's (diagnosed), because none of them are intuitive, they're both learned and I apply them through logic, not emotion or intuition. It's not black and white like you either have it or you don't. As people have mentioned before, many "NT" qualities can be learned. But it's the fact that you have to learn them and apply them via logic that makes you autistic, albeit highfunctioning. |
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Mysty
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2008
Posts: 863
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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| crysthewolf wrote: | | This may be off topic, but what is ToM? The only thing I pulled up is "Theory of Mind" but that's not a thing you "have", that's a theory about Autism, so I'm confused. |
No, it's not a theory about autism. It refers to being able to have theories about what's going on in other people's minds.
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non-NT with AS traits |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 24
Posts: 7124
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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I've never been told by a medical person that I don't have it.
Only by randoms in the street.
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The www will take you to paradise. |
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Mysty
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2008
Posts: 863
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| Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Mysty wrote: | | crysthewolf wrote: | | This may be off topic, but what is ToM? The only thing I pulled up is "Theory of Mind" but that's not a thing you "have", that's a theory about Autism, so I'm confused. |
No, it's not a theory about autism. It refers to being able to have theories about what's going on in other people's minds. |
I want to to clarify. There's a theory that autistics lack theory of mind. But that theory about autism isn't called theory of mind. Theory of mind is not a psychological theory, but rather a label for a psychological idea -- that of being able to guess at (have a theory) what is going on in other people's minds, and to realize it's not the same as what's in one's own mind. So, people in general, most people, have theory of mind. And psychiatrists have a theory about theory of mind in autism.
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non-NT with AS traits |
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sgrannel
Dr. Strangelove
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 1158
Location: The Bland Corporation
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| Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:02 am Post subject: |
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| pschristmas wrote: | I was told I'm not autistic because I can hold a normal conversation and have a good relationship with my daughter. I was told I had a highly sensitive nervous system (the sensory stuff) and some autistic features. (??) If you're really interested in a diagnosis, I'd suggest finding some one else. Personally, I'm relatively happy with my counsellor, so I'm sticking with him for the time being.
Regards,
Patricia |
It's possible to not have all of the criteria for diagnosis with either AS or classic autism, but if some of the things are there, it might be PDD-NOS. For example, I didn't fit the classic autism diagnosis because I could talk when I was a young child. Other people in my family have had trouble maintaining friendships and voice tone/volume, working out others' intentions, the purpose of certain ways things are done, etc. and some of them might be PDD-NOS. I have been told that I very likely have AS. With all the weird and immature things I say, problems with eye contact, voice tone and volume, repetitive speech, communication using TV programs, song lyrics, movies, being way behind in the relationships game etc., if I don't have AS, then I am certain I would fall under the category of PDD-NOS.
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