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KevinLA
Toucan
Joined: Nov 07, 2007
Posts: 254
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 Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:36 pm Post subject: Are you unintentionally disrespectful to people? |
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This has been common for me in the past. It is only after the incident that I realized that I had been disrespectful to others.
I believe neurotypical people are wired to be respectful to others. We are not. That is what makes it so difficult. |
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Kasanova
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 24, 2009
Age: 21
Posts: 89
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah sometimes I just tell people to go f**k themselves
It's not intentional... it just happens
I can't help it  |
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gramirez
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 10, 2008
Posts: 1012
Location: Illinois
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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I've been accused of doing it...though the person who accused me of doing it was the most horrible person I've ever met in my life.
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KevinLA
Toucan
Joined: Nov 07, 2007
Posts: 254
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:42 pm Post subject: |
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| gramirez wrote: | | I've been accused of doing it...though the person who accused me of doing it was the most horrible person I've ever met in my life. |
People project their own weaknesses on other people. |
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Maggiedoll
Loon
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 1649
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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I think the definitions of "respectful" are different.
NTs consider it "respectful" not to question someone.. If I respect someone, I'm going to ask them questions. If something seems wrong, I'll ask them about it. If they have a fact wrong, I'll figure they want to know about it. Of course, it may also be that I respect people who want to know things and don't mind being asked questions, so it may get a bit chicken-and-egg.
NTs also consider formulaic answers respectful, and like to try to trip you up. Like when they demand that you do something by asking if you want to, and then get pissed if you answer honestly that you don't.. |
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Tory_canuck
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 09, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 955
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:57 pm Post subject: |
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I have troube deciphering whether or not two people are done a conversation, and go to say something, but then they start talking again...Then I get told off for interrupting, when I just simply thought they were done talking.
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Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deciet.
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Linder1980
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Age: 29
Posts: 46
Location: New Zealand's finest Export...currently residing in Australia
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:03 pm Post subject: |
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I've often been accused of being disrespectful or will reply honestly when asked something only to have people come up to me later and say "I can't believe you said that!"
however since I found this website and starting finding out more about autism/aspergers, I'm becoming more comfortable with saying whatever I mean regardless of how it's perceived..... |
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Who_Am_I
born NotQuiteHuman
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 25
Posts: 4770
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:34 pm Post subject: |
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People sometimes misconstrue my words and actions as being disrespectful. I don't see how one can be unintentionally disrespectful: surely you either respect someone or you don't? You may have difficulty showing respect in a way that others can understand, but that doesn't equate to disrespect.
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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I !!!!
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I |
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zen_mistress
* ENFP *
Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Age: 32
Posts: 2195
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:36 pm Post subject: |
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| I am very very respectful to everyone whenever possible. Except if they are a complete jerk to me. |
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RoisinDubh
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 25, 2009
Posts: 325
Location: Somewhere else entirely
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| Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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I have, and always have had, a problem with the idea that some people are supposedly 'due' more respect FROM me than they GIVE me. This was a huge problem for me in school, particularly as a child. The idea of 'respecting' (ie, obeying every wish and command, no matter how stupid) someone just because they were 'grown up' seemed asinine to me. The same rule applies now that I'm a 'grown-up' when it comes to people in self-appointed positions of authority.
I am not unintentionally disrespectful, but I only allot people as much respect as they show to me.
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Prosser
The reason you're gonna slap away everyday
Joined: Nov 10, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 1057
Location: Perth, Westen Australia
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:05 am Post subject: Re: Are you unintentionally disrespectful to people? |
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| KevinLA wrote: | | I believe neurotypical people are wired to be respectful to others. |
erm... you sure?
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I wandered though the weird and lurid landscape of another planet.
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Rainbow-Squirrel
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Age: 29
Posts: 2060
Location: Siena, Italy
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:18 am Post subject: Re: Are you unintentionally disrespectful to people? |
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| Prosser wrote: | | KevinLA wrote: | | I believe neurotypical people are wired to be respectful to others. |
erm... you sure? |
I see them everyday at work, definitely no. |
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Kaleido
Nearly NT and counting
Joined: Feb 19, 2007
Posts: 2602
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:52 am Post subject: Re: Are you unintentionally disrespectful to people? |
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| KevinLA wrote: | | I believe neurotypical people are wired to be respectful to others. We are not. That is what makes it so difficult. |
You may need to have another think about that 
I haven't found this to be true. Depends on upbringing more than wiring. |
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millie
bits, pieces, brass, animals
Joined: Oct 26, 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 2981
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:29 am Post subject: |
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on the whole, I like the idea of respect and i try to adhere to it. However, because of my ASD bluntness and black and white thinking, i can in fact be quite dismissive and disregarding of people and their views. I work on this however, and I'm more respectful of others than i used to be.
And it is quite possible to disagree and dispute, in a respectful and decent manner.
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Tory_canuck
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 09, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 955
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:54 am Post subject: |
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I word things or comments wrong and they are misinterpreted as rude, whereby I didnt intend them to be in a rude contest, just the way I inadvertantly said it cause people to percieve it as offensive when that was not my intention.
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Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deciet.
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