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NomadicAssassin
Toucan
Joined: Mar 05, 2009
Posts: 298
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 Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 1:56 pm Post subject: What to do with my family? |
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I need my family very much, for transportation, ect ...; but i tell you right now im really starting to hate living here getting yelled at when i help, and getting yelled at for minor things that require attention not yelling. What the heck is wrong with my parents that they cant tell after 15 years when i need sometime on my own and when i need some help, it's not that hard i make it really obvious, and they just blatently ignore it, WTF?
_________________
"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."
“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” |
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MDD123
Phoenix
Joined: May 07, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 555
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 5:09 pm Post subject: Re: What to do with my family? |
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| NomadicAssassin wrote: | | I need my family very much, for transportation, ect ...; but i tell you right now im really starting to hate living here getting yelled at when i help, and getting yelled at for minor things that require attention not yelling. What the heck is wrong with my parents that they cant tell after 15 years when i need sometime on my own and when i need some help, it's not that hard i make it really obvious, and they just blatently ignore it, WTF? |
It boils down to control, they want what's best for you, but they don't realize that you can make some decisions for yourself.
I remember when I was 15, my parents didn't like my attitude, so they scoured my room and found my marilyn manson and korn cds, I was so pissed that they blamed my taste in music for my being upset, the fact was I hated being hassled and wanted more autonomy (or at least less yelling at me).
Then, almost a year later, they get a call from my girlfriend late one night. They scour through my e-mails and find out that we had plans to get intimate, I felt so violated that I didn't talk to them for a long time. I still feel a little resentment for losing out on that opportunity, it might've helped in the long run, but I lost the chance to experience life.
Just remember that as long as you're smart about it, you don't have to conform to them in every way. |
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NomadicAssassin
Toucan
Joined: Mar 05, 2009
Posts: 298
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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I never thought of really conforming to much of anything they made me do I had and still have the thought of leaving for my grandparents if they forced me too, because I just don't do that, I have my secrets when I go into rooms I either immedeately lock the door or block the entrance so I have my privacy; I have gone to what some would call extreme lengths to make sure I can have my secrets and knowledge without them knowing, I'm very intelligent in finding there flaws, it's almost like it's an experiment to find there flaws and counter them to my advantage 
_________________
"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."
“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” |
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MDD123
Phoenix
Joined: May 07, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 555
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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I was always afraid of living with my grandparents, my grandpa would always get onto my case and he was more intimidating that my parents. In the end, he was like a guru for me, sure he isn't patient, but I've learned a lot because of him. I can't say going with the grandparents is a bad idea at all. Grandparents are likely to miss having a kid in the house and will probably have better advice on how to deal with your parents (my grandparents and parents didn't see everything the same way).
I still lock the door behind me, people just don't believe in knocking. |
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ddrfr33k
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 17, 2008
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:40 am Post subject: |
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I can sympathize with your dilemma, Nomadic. My brother was in a nasty car crash back in march of last year. Suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, and has endured months of physical therapy. He does not have AS, but I do. I've accepted my fate as the black sheep of the family, and have learned to move on with my life. My brother, on the other hand, thinks that I'm like Quasimodo or something, and should be locked away in my room. I usually go straight to my bedroom or another quiet room of the house, just so I can get away from him. He nags me about not having a life, which is completely false. I just happen to have a different kind of social life. I'm not his only target, he causes a bunch of stress for the rest of my family. It's not easy. I'd like to move out, but I can't afford the rent payments to get an apartment. I'm caught in a catch-22, myself.
On to your issues, it sounds like your parents don't quite know how to handle your situation. Have you discussed your feelings with them? Do they know about your dismay? |
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Hell-Fox
Blue Jay
Joined: May 03, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 83
Location: Oceanside, CA, United States
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| Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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| ddrfr33k wrote: | | I can sympathize with your dilemma, Nomadic. My brother was in a nasty car crash back in march of last year. Suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, and has endured months of physical therapy. He does not have AS, but I do. I've accepted my fate as the black sheep of the family, and have learned to move on with my life. My brother, on the other hand, thinks that I'm like Quasimodo or something, and should be locked away in my room. I usually go straight to my bedroom or another quiet room of the house, just so I can get away from him. He nags me about not having a life, which is completely false. I just happen to have a different kind of social life. I'm not his only target, he causes a bunch of stress for the rest of my family. It's not easy. I'd like to move out, but I can't afford the rent payments to get an apartment. I'm caught in a catch-22, myself. |
Hah your brother sounds like my middle brother. I was the youngest of three brothers and he ALWAYS tried to get me to conform to his standards and his ways when we were growing up. He never did fully understand until he finally learned about AS AND got a family of his own. He now has a family of three little girls, with one of them possibly having AS. With the turbulent life he now leads, the irony is that he envies the quiet life I lead now. Even though I still live with my parents, I at least am in peace. I certainly do not envy the chaos that is now ever present in his life.
Anyways enough about myself, its tough living with people caught up in the pre-conceived notions that are social expectations of what their children should be doing. For parents to begin the process of letting go of that expectation and let the child they raised make their own decisions, is a hard thing for some.
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Aspergers people, are like cats trying to fit into a world of dogs. The dogs compete and try to go up the ranks of their "pack", whereas the cats just want to have their space and enjoy just being themselves. |
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richardbenson
loves mexican food
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 10597
Location: my apartment in sunnyside
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| Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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| i know how you feel nomadic assassin. my familys disfunctional pretty much and the best advice i can give you is move out if possible |
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