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OddFinn
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 28, 2009
Posts: 473
Location: Finland
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 Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:10 pm Post subject: Do you have problems with people using pronouns? |
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It seems that many persons understand each other even when they are using many pronouns in their speech. They seem to "guess" what the other person means.
For me, each pronoun is a difficult one, unless they have been preceded by a noun I can connect the pronoun to.
If someone starts talking to me, using pronouns, I have to put each pronoun to "a shelf" in my mind, in order to later clarify their meaning. If all the "shelves" get full (I guess the working memory overflows), I just have to stop them and tell that I was not "on the map" and ask them to clarify what they were talking about.
It is easier for me in formal meetings, because there I can write notes. Then I can ask questions based on the notes, and actually people seem to like it. I appear to them as being interested in their subject, and they are glad to clarify.
In informal discussions, however, I find people getting frustrated towards me, after they have been talking for a while only to find out I have not had a clue what they were talking about. |
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serenity
Phoenix
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Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 1254
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| Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:02 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm not sure what you mean... Could you use a couple of sentences as an example of the pronoun use that confuses you? I'm very interested in this subject, because it may help me to understand why my son has such a hard time with the use of pronouns. |
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Yashmeena
Butterfly
Joined: Jun 22, 2009
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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I think I have this problem too, although an example, as already requested, might help.
I find when unfamiliar pronouns are introduced without a prior acquaintance with them, it makes things difficult for me to follow. Perhaps the lack of empathy is much to do with this - I'm not sure. |
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OddFinn
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 28, 2009
Posts: 473
Location: Finland
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| Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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I'll try to reproduce something:
Someone: I really don't like the way they said it the other day.
Me: Ok, tell me more about it.
Someone: It was just like something that they would be not saying, and it really bothered me. What do you think about it?
Me: I'm not sure. What did it make you feel?
Someone: I just felt that the thing was taken too seriously. I mean, it's not just so big deal, is it?
Me: Probably not. So what else?
Someone: It also bugged me that they took it so seriously. Which option would you prefer?
Me: Sorry, I'm just not "on the map". What was it that you were talking about? |
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Yashmeena
Butterfly
Joined: Jun 22, 2009
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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Ahah, that's me exactly 
I kind of get it in the beginning (what they're relating) and then it all becomes very vague to me. It's hard to explain - I suppose it's the lack of ability to follow a story. I'm becoming surer that it's to do with empathy, actually.. |
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pschristmas
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 519
Location: Buda, TX
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| Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 2:15 pm Post subject: |
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| OddFinn wrote: | | Me: Sorry, I'm just not "on the map". What was it that you were talking about? |
Most people have had that happen occasionally. I'd have asked the person much sooner who "they" were and what "it" was. In these cases, usually the first speaker has been thinking about something so intensely that they've forgotten that other people aren't thinking about it, too.
Regards,
Patricia |
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