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paddy26
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 25, 2009
Posts: 60
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 Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:33 am Post subject: bi polar friends |
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| Hi, does anyone else have friends who have bi-polar traits. If so how do you deal with them emotionally? I'm very close shutting someone out altogether but think I might end up really upsetting them. |
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pschristmas
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 519
Location: Buda, TX
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:27 am Post subject: |
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Is your friend seeing a psychiatrist? I have a sister who's bipolar and she can be a lot of fun -- when she's medicated. When she's not, she's an amazingly toxic person to deal with. I had to live with her for a couple of years -- she had a nervous break-down and was diagnosed with breast cancer soon afterwards, so landed in my guestroom for a while -- and things got terribly stressful around here.
The best remedy I've found is distance -- lots of it. My sister and her daughter and grandson now live a four-hour drive away. I'm much happier with the arrangement.
Regards,
Patricia |
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paddy26
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 25, 2009
Posts: 60
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:51 am Post subject: |
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| Yeah I think so but they don't really talk about it. They can be really fun as well but also very controlling and manilpulative sometimes. I think keeping a bit more distance from them without shutting them out completely is the best thing to do. Thanks. |
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Learning2Survive
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 20, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 1777
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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Aspies are very poorly equipped to deal with bipolar people. Bipolar people have difficulty controlling their behavior so they might attack you and make you feel bad and do risky things that carry financial, std, and legal consequences. Bipolar people have a difficult lot in life, and NT should reach out to them. But AS folks are going to suffer very much. It is not worth it.
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Some of the threads I started are really long - yeay! |
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Peko
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 13, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 455
Location: Eastern PA, USA
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:18 pm Post subject: |
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I've had 1 or 2 bi polar friends & a BP dance instructor. I found if you want to be friends w/ a BP person, you need to be totally honest about both your needs & what can cause problems. Never push a BP individuals buttons (whatever they are & avoid bringing up topics that upset them (ex. I never brought it up again when my one friend told me she was sexually abused/though this may be good for NT's who were abused as well). You need to be prepared to listen, give support & deal w/ more affection than you are comfortable with (but try & talk about your needs & set boundaries in this are/ the girl I knew who definitely had it was good w/ this). But I personally would avoid being alone (when you are young or unexperienced dealing w/ them at least) with them (at least for an extended period of time. If you start to gain an extra sense to tell you when they are going to have a mood swing, fit, (depressed to manic, etc.), go with it)! Trust your instincts & remember their may be things you both have trouble dealing with. It can be a great relationship, so long as the person takes their meds (if you know they skip stay away b/c they can be dangerous). If you are not familiar with this (or underage) talk with parents/someone & let them know when you are spending time with someone w/ BP (b/c if they have a problem...it can be REALLY bad/scary). Total Honesty with each other & trusting your gut are the key. But avoiding someone b/c they have BP is hypocritical b/c would you want them to avoid you b/c you are an Aspie?
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Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to. |
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starvingartist
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 561
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:21 pm Post subject: |
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coming from someone who is both aspergian and bipolar, i felt the need to speak up here.
i have heard more than one person on this site say "if you've seen one person with aspergers....you've seen one person with aspergers"--the point obviously being to stress the idea that each person on the spectrum presents in their own unique way. the same must be said for those who are bipolar. first of all, there is more than one type of bipolar disorder, just as there is more than one type of pervasive developmental disorder, and there are marked differences between them that would affect the person afflicted, and the people in their lives, quite differently from the next person. to lump all bipolar people together and say "how should i deal with them?" is misinformed and misleading, and also more than a little dismissive and insulting to those of us with the disorder.
if you don't want to be stereotyped yourself, you may want to be sure you're not doing the same to others.
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"it is your blind spot...it should be obvious, but it's not." - radiohead |
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paddy26
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 25, 2009
Posts: 60
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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| sorry, I didn't mean to put a label on people with bi-polar, I was really just looking for advice on coping when my friend is stressing out. I suppose they must have similar problems with me sometimes. |
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Homer_Bob
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 06, 2009
Age: 21
Posts: 674
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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| I wouldn't say I have bipolar friends per say but I certainly deal with others who are bipolar(such as family members, co-workers ect). I'll admit, I usually know how to handle them but it's not always the right way. I know what makes them tick and I know what to do to not get them on their bad side. Sometimes, I feel I am too passive because sometimes, I'll just agree with their arguments or just agree with them in general. Is that the right way? No it's not but it's the way to stay out of trouble. I can usually read a bipolar person's personality and I can always tell when I should back off and give them space. |
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Asmodeus
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2009
Posts: 783
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| Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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| I know a bi-polar schizophrenic. a diagnosed person. I find the person easier to understand than most other people, seems to see people more objectively than most, and is less easily swayed by social details; either high and grandiose, or low and flat. |
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Rok
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 128
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| Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 10:35 am Post subject: |
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| Try staying very quiet when they have an outburst. Don't take anything to heart. Let them vent what is on their mind and then suggest to do something that you know they love to do and will bring them back to calm. |
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Ana54
International Incident Initiator
Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Age: 21
Posts: 7373
Location: Canada and the US
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:48 am Post subject: |
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My boyfriend and I are diagnosed bipolar but I think it might be cyclothymia instead. It is a bipolar disorder, but not Bipolar Disorder. When my boyfriend was depressed I just let him do what he wanted, which was play his computer games all day to keep his mind off it and wait it out and stimulate him, and drink his stimulating coffee and beer and that. I have never seen him really manic. He says he was manic when he came up to Canada to get me from Texas and sneaked me across the border, and was going to start a church and a school and a charity and a business and a group home. He`s seen me more manic than I`ve ever seen him. He would try to give me something to do and distract me if I was depressed, and sometimes ask "Do you want to go out and do something?" even though we didn`t know what to go out and do. He took me to my shrink when I was feeling bad for a medication adjustment or change, and suggested I go into the mental hospital sometimes but didn`t force me, and encouraged me to enjoy the experience. He told my shrinks sometimes how I felt and that to help me out, but he clinicised every little thing I did and made a big deal out of every little thing I did even stuff that was normal but that maybe 1 person would find abnormal, and I said "That`s not evidence of mental illness" and he said "Well, it`s something."
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Banned from WP between 5/09 and 9/09 for not answering 2 mods' PMs. I know that I never repeatedly broke the same rule. My boyfreind adverb and my mother Mysteria were banned for being my boyfriend and my mother. They did nothing. |
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tinky
Bob the Llama's wingman
Joined: Mar 25, 2006
Age: 19
Posts: 6734
Location: en la luna bailando con las vacas
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 1:30 am Post subject: |
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| Rok wrote: | | Try staying very quiet when they have an outburst. Don't take anything to heart. Let them vent what is on their mind and then suggest to do something that you know they love to do and will bring them back to calm. |
that's what i normally do.
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