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RainSong
Seatbelts Totally Cause Autism
Joined: May 02, 2006
Posts: 4451
Location: Georgia
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 Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:12 pm Post subject: Stranger allegedly slaps crying child in store |
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Stranger allegedly slaps crying child in store
| Quote: | (CNN) -- A Georgia man allegedly slapped a toddler at a Walmart store because she wouldn't stop crying, authorities said.
Roger Stephens, 61, was arrested Monday and charged with first-degree cruelty to children. An incident report obtained from police in Gwinnett County indicated Stephens did not know the 2-year-old girl he stands accused of hitting.
The confrontation happened shortly before noon at the Walmart in Stone Mountain, a suburb of Atlanta. According to the arresting officer, the child's mother said her daughter was crying as they walked down one of the aisles. The mother said a stranger later identified as Stephens approached them and said, "If you don't shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you."
A few moments later, while the mother and the crying child were in another aisle, Stephens allegedly grabbed the girl and slapped her across the face.
Police said he hit her four or five times. "See, I told you I would shut her up," the suspect allegedly told the mother.
Authorities described "slight redness" to the toddler's face. Before he was arrested, Stephens apologized to the mother for striking the girl, the incident report said.
Stephens, a Stone Mountain resident, is being held by the Gwinnett County Sheriff's Department. |
Jail, jail, jail.
_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."
Empathy is when you feel the emotions of someone else despite never having been through the same or similar situation. Sympathy is when you feel the emotions and have been through the same or similar situation. |
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DaWalker
Pro Caution
Joined: Jul 12, 2009
Posts: 5103
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| Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Semi-Related experience reminds me of an event or two. My step dad would do something odd to make me start crying while in a public place. Then he got his rocks off by dragging me by one leg out of the store across the parking lot and a ride home in the trunk. Of course since my clothes were dirty, I got a spanking. Things like this were acceptable by the majority of society back then. They only assumed it was a one-time occurrence, even the police who would occasionally show up at the house were convinced it was all my fault, and the mom with the bloody nose had "fell down the stairs" - of a single story home. I am grateful society has acknowledged that this is Not OK. Point being, even though I do not recall a stranger beating me in a public place - I do remember that no stranger ever attempted to stop him. |
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gina-ghettoprincess
Last of my kind
Joined: Nov 09, 2008
Posts: 2702
Location: The Town That Time Forgot (UK)
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| Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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| DaWalker wrote: | | Semi-Related experience reminds me of an event or two. My step dad would do something odd to make me start crying while in a public place. Then he got his rocks off by dragging me by one leg out of the store across the parking lot and a ride home in the trunk. Of course since my clothes were dirty, I got a spanking. Things like this were acceptable by the majority of society back then. They only assumed it was a one-time occurrence, even the police who would occasionally show up at the house were convinced it was all my fault, and the mom with the bloody nose had "fell down the stairs" - of a single story home. I am grateful society has acknowledged that this is Not OK. Point being, even though I do not recall a stranger beating me in a public place - I do remember that no stranger ever attempted to stop him. |
That's terrible!
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Are you a teenager with Asperger's? http://www.teenagerswithaspergers.com <-- my friend's website. |
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Spokane_Girl
There's no crying in baseball
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 8672
Location: Rockford (hometown Oregon)
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| Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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This reminds me of the time an autistic man slapped a six month old baby.
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I'm a Peach
I like the high ones |
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CRD
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 07, 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 622
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| Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:17 pm Post subject: |
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| The frist thing that came to my mind after I saw this was if this were my kid I'd be the one going to jail for killing the sob. |
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Roman
Phoenix
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Joined: Mar 18, 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 1098
Location: Bangalore, India
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:08 am Post subject: Re: Stranger allegedly slaps crying child in store |
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| RainSong wrote: | | Before he was arrested, Stephens apologized to the mother for striking the girl. |
As an aspies, does it ever happen to you that you do something wrong, and only later you realize you did something wrong, you apologize, and apologize and apologize, and everyone IGNORES that. Do you know how frustrating that would feel?
Now, I don't know that man, so I don't know how much or how sincere he appologised. But what if he was TRULLY, AWFULLY sorry? What if he admitted he just had a bad day, lost control of himself, but now he can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING just to fix it? What if THAT is how much he apologized? And everyone ignoeres his apology except for a little passing comment ... |
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RainSong
Seatbelts Totally Cause Autism
Joined: May 02, 2006
Posts: 4451
Location: Georgia
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:19 am Post subject: Re: Stranger allegedly slaps crying child in store |
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DaWalker: That's horrible. It's unfortunate people didn't step in, and yes, it's good that that kind of thing is no longer accepted.
I wonder how many people wanted to help and just thought they'd make it worse. I've had that conversation with some friends when in a store and a stranger is mistreating someone (never physically, because, as you said, that's no longer tolerated). In one way, you want to help, but stepping in can make it worse sometimes, and I think that's why some people stay out of it. Still, someone should have done something, especially the police.
CRD - I don't have kids, but if someone did that to anyone I loved, they'd be on the floor with a heck of a lot more damage than reddening of the face.
| Roman wrote: | As an aspies, does it ever happen to you that you do something wrong, and only later you realize you did something wrong, you apologize, and apologize and apologize, and everyone IGNORES that. Do you know how frustrating that would feel?
Now, I don't know that man, so I don't know how much or how sincere he appologised. But what if he was TRULLY, AWFULLY sorry? What if he admitted he just had a bad day, lost control of himself, but now he can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING just to fix it? What if THAT is how much he apologized? And everyone ignoeres his apology except for a little passing comment ... |
To be honest, in this case, too bad. He's not a child, he's an adult, and if he couldn't handle the noise, he needed to move away from the kid. He should have been the one ignoring. There is no excuse for his behavior. He obviously needs some sort of anger management class if that's how easily he loses his temper.
He can be sorry all you want, but he crossed the line. If he had just stopped at the initial confrontation, where he told the mother off, then an apology might have been enough, but he went way beyond that.
Example: If I hit your car and damaged it badly, would sorry be enough? It's not going to fix the damage on the car, it's not going to pay the repair bills. I really, really didn't mean to total it, but it happened anyway. I kind of suck at parking, but I didn't mean to hit your car, so it's all fine. I apologized, so I don't need to pay for the damages or take more driving lessons.
I doubt anyone would accept that.
_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."
Empathy is when you feel the emotions of someone else despite never having been through the same or similar situation. Sympathy is when you feel the emotions and have been through the same or similar situation. |
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ascan
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 23, 2005
Posts: 2184
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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| It's disgusting how parents think they've the right to impose their unruly, undisciplined brats on the rest of society. It's hardly surprising that occasionally someone is compelled to act in this way. |
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Spokane_Girl
There's no crying in baseball
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 8672
Location: Rockford (hometown Oregon)
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 1:57 pm Post subject: |
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If I were shopping with my three year old and she wanted to get a toy and I said no and she started screaming and throwing a tantrum? Should I just leave everything behind and take my child out of the store and I never got what I needed to get? I would have just ignored her screaming because giving in on her by letting her get the toy would just teach her if she wants something, just scream and she will get it. And if anyone stepped in telling me to do something about her screaming I would tell them "What do you want me to do? Get some rope and tape and tie her up and tape her mouth shut and congratulations I'm a child abuser?" Hey I gotta shop for things I need. I can't not get things every time my child is going to throw a fit when I try and buy what I need. And just because a parent is ignoring their screaming child doesn't mean they are okaying it because how do you know they didn't give their child a punishment when they got home?
Heck if I saw a child start screaming just because the mother told her "no" to a candybar and then she lets her have it when she starts to scream, I would just think she is a lazy ass mother who is weak.
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I'm a Peach
I like the high ones |
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jacquesb
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 04, 2009
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:50 pm Post subject: |
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| ascan wrote: | | It's disgusting how parents think they've the right to impose their unruly, undisciplined brats on the rest of society. It's hardly surprising that occasionally someone is compelled to act in this way. |
FAIL
Let me guess how many children YOU have: none.
1) this was in a freakin' WalMart, not the symphony
2) the kid was two years old. Two year olds have tantrums, and that's life.
I guess we should keep our kids locked up in the basement until they're 18. |
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Nan
Phoenix
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Joined: Mar 02, 2006
Posts: 3929
Location: the ultimate elsewhere
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Spokane_Girl wrote: | If I were shopping with my three year old and she wanted to get a toy and I said no and she started screaming and throwing a tantrum? Should I just leave everything behind and take my child out of the store and I never got what I needed to get? I would have just ignored her screaming because giving in on her by letting her get the toy would just teach her if she wants something, just scream and she will get it. And if anyone stepped in telling me to do something about her screaming I would tell them "What do you want me to do? Get some rope and tape and tie her up and tape her mouth shut and congratulations I'm a child abuser?" Hey I gotta shop for things I need. I can't not get things every time my child is going to throw a fit when I try and buy what I need. And just because a parent is ignoring their screaming child doesn't mean they are okaying it because how do you know they didn't give their child a punishment when they got home?
Heck if I saw a child start screaming just because the mother told her "no" to a candybar and then she lets her have it when she starts to scream, I would just think she is a lazy ass mother who is weak. |
My opinion is that no child should be allowed to cause a public nuisance. Yes, if the child starts screaming you remove them from the store. Leave them with a neighbor, or go back another day and finish your shopping. By not stopping your child from screaming you are communicating to your child that is is ok to scream in public places. Three year old children do not have a mental capacity to internalize punishment that is not almost immediate - you can't take them home and "punish" them later and have it be effective. And the concept of "punishing" a three year old is pretty counter-productive. They're not getting the message you think they're getting. Positive reinforcement and consistency works much better.
When my daughter was little she was told before we went in the store that if she asked for something I would consider it. If she asked for it again, I would remind her of the "three" rule - if I hear the request a third time she automatically would not get the item even if she would have otherwise. She was also told the reasons why she could not have something if I told her no - it's not good for you, it'll rot your teeth, or I haven't got the money for that. That rule was consistently applied. It worked. She also knew that if she started screaming it was an automatic ticket straight home.
We were often complimented on what a well-behaved child she was. Parenting is hard work, it's not always easy or pleasant, but it has to be done.
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And a one, and a two.... |
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mgran
Phoenix
Joined: May 23, 2009
Posts: 662
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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| ascan wrote: | | It's disgusting how parents think they've the right to impose their unruly, undisciplined brats on the rest of society. It's hardly surprising that occasionally someone is compelled to act in this way. |
Society is made up of human beings. You may not realise this, but two year olds are human.
If a stranger walked up and hit an adult aspie having a meltdown in a public place, would you come here saying, "it's disgusting how aspies think they've the right to act up in society..." Probably not.
The fact is, two year olds have all sorts of reasons why they might be crying. They might be teething, overwhelmed by the noise, lights, and stink of a supermarket. (I know I frequently am.) To suggest that it's ever okay to treat a vulnerable child like that, or that it's the parents fault, is completely disgraceful. You'd get on with DaWalker's step father.
My son never had a tantrum or meltdown in a store, and I'm aware that's because he has a phenomenal ability to go into his own world when under stress. Most people don't react that way. For example, I don't react that way. What would you do if you saw me panicking on the London Underground, or dropping all my shopping and running out of a supermarket? You'd think, "stupid bloody woman, who let her out?" And yet most of the time I'm fine. Should I lock myself up, because sometimes I inconvenience others, despite my best efforts not to? |
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Stinkypuppy
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2006
Age: 31
Posts: 1232
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| Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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Unfortunately the article says nothing about what the mother was doing about the crying child... so I'm on the fence about the whole situation.
| mgran wrote: | | If a stranger walked up and hit an adult aspie having a meltdown in a public place, would you come here saying, "it's disgusting how aspies think they've the right to act up in society..." Probably not. |
While I don't think hitting an Aspie who's having a meltdown is all that productive, I don't think AS folks have an automatic right to have every kind of meltdown known to mankind in public. Some meltdowns can be very destructive to other people and property, so in those cases I think it does behoove us as responsible members of society to prevent that kind of extreme.
| mgran wrote: | | The fact is, two year olds have all sorts of reasons why they might be crying. They might be teething, overwhelmed by the noise, lights, and stink of a supermarket. (I know I frequently am.) To suggest that it's ever okay to treat a vulnerable child like that, or that it's the parents fault, is completely disgraceful. You'd get on with DaWalker's step father. |
I wouldn't hit the child, but I would expect the parent to do something about the situation. We don't know why the child was crying, so disciplining the child may not be appropriate as the child may not have done anything wrong. However, a parent completely ignoring the situation, regardless of the cause, and expecting others to do the same is not being considerate of other people in my book. At the very least I would expect the parent to try to get the shopping done faster, or to let anybody who complains to the parent know that the complaints are being addressed to at least some extent. Yes, kids will be kids, but if my kid hasn't mastered potty training and pees on the floor, I'm not going to ignore it and carry on my leisurely way as though nothing happened.
| mgran wrote: | | Should I lock myself up, because sometimes I inconvenience others, despite my best efforts not to? |
This really depends on just how far you "inconvenience" others. If it's so bad that you are a physical danger to others during those times, well then yes definitely.
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tweety_fan
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 2356
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| Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 12:54 am Post subject: |
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That is not cool.
I must admit I have felt the temptation to hit bratty kids but it is a temptation one should not act upon. |
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Venger
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 395
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| Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 7:27 am Post subject: |
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| That kid is the opposite of a baby seal. The stranger must have knew that. |
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